How do you make new friends when you move?

Tiffany - posted on 10/08/2010 ( 21 moms have responded )

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We just moved and I am horrible at making new friends. The last place we were at I only made friends with other wives in our FRG. This place doesn't even have a FRG. This base is really small, and most people live off base. I am wanting to get a part time job after Thanksgiving, so I think that will help me make new friends. Right now I don't know anyone here, and would really like to make new friends. When you move what are some ways that you make new friends?

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[deleted account]

Most of my close friends (and I've only been posted for 10 months) have been made through our church's small group. If you don't go to church, I would suggest routinely taking classes at the community centre on base or the gym, taking language courses, starting your own playgroup and inviting other women on the base, or looking into clubs and groups off the base to get you out of the military bubble.

Aubrey - posted on 10/08/2010

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Meet your Neighbors. Join a Gym. Join a Mommy and Me Group. Join a church. Join a Mommy's Day Out Program. Find places which host to your hobbies and attend. One of the easiest ways would be to go to MeetUp.Com it's full of special interest Groups who "Meet Up" in your area. I joined a Wives Club for the Base we are at through there, and I just googled Mommy and Me Programs in my area, and one link went to another link, and I just kept finding stuff. Google can be a Great source if you don't want to get out. Good Luck!

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Danielle - posted on 04/04/2011

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Plautonic Relationships on CL, Mommy and Me playgroups, Try cafemom.com as well. Good luck!

Eates22 - posted on 12/11/2010

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I talk to people everywhere. Get out, volunteer, join classes. A few of us just created a message board for wives here so we could find new friends, look on yahoo, google, facebook for existing groups or create your own. Take your kids to the park and talk to other moms.

Heather - posted on 12/06/2010

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I usually start by talking to the people shopping in the base exchange. If you see someone who is looking at something that you have and it's a great buy mention it. So even if they don't want to continue talking at least you helped someone out. It's like finding that first date all over again. It takes practice and when it happens, do the first date rule. Groups/Double "date" and/or do something that is other than dinner or lunch. I suggest a funny movie, shopping or mani/pedi's if you are into that type of thing. Never do something one on one for the first get together because if it get's awkward there is nothing there to save you.

Alexandra - posted on 11/15/2010

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that is so true. im at ft gordon too and i cant find no groups either...this place sucks

Angela - posted on 10/25/2010

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I would find out what groups are on the small post and head on over. I live on Ft Jackson and I only really knew one person on post she invited me to an event and I met lots of people. I don't spend a lot of time with them but the once per month event is really good to unwind

Jordan - posted on 10/23/2010

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I'm terrible at this too. I get tired of the women that have nothing better to do than talk about other people behind their backs, a lot of fake women out there, and my husband has been in for almost 8 years and I have only made two friends, one really good friend and the other I'm still getting to know. It's like people don't want to invest time into getting to know someone bc they figure they will only be there for a few years if that.
I love my child, but I don't want to have all my free time centered around talking about my child. I have other interests too.

Heidi - posted on 10/23/2010

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it is hard. i tried to find other moms with kids around my little ones age. or i got to company party with the kids and meet other moms. a part time job will help. or u can meet other moms at church if go.

Florence - posted on 10/23/2010

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Look for a MOPS group-Mothers of Pre-Schoolers. Make friends thru a Sunday School Class of your age group at your local church. Host a block party of wives on your block--put the invites in their doors. Have you thought about hosting a cookie bake??? Have every one bring at least 6 cookies for that night with the recipe. They can make more, if you wish to exchange cookies!! That would be great in the month of December!! Once you get to know the Moms, maybe you could see if you could host a "Craft Party" once a month!! Some may bring cards to make cards; some may bead jewelry; some may scrapbook; some may knit, etc. I'm just giving you some ideas that my friends and I do!! Florence from Illinois

Sunshine - posted on 10/21/2010

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You could always look through facebook go to the search part at the top & start typing in like for example:
Fort Carson Military Wives or Army Wives or something like that You are destined to find something :) Good Luck

Tam - posted on 10/21/2010

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Try going to meetup.com

Its a website where you enter your interests and it finds groups in your immediate area that have similar interests. I use it whenever I move around, as I tend to be antisocial myself.

Angela - posted on 10/21/2010

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What base are you at? We are at a very small Navy base. My husband has been good with meeting other guys that have kids and that helps. My daughters are older, 11 and 9 and they meet kids at school which then I meet their parents. I also make a point to say hi to my neighbors with in the first few weeks of moving in, since everyone wants to know who the new person is. More often then not other wives are looking for friends and might be a little shy to make them too. Best of luck!

Crystal - posted on 10/20/2010

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i dont make friends easy i have only made 4 friends here at ft polk which only one is a close friend at our old duty station i only had 3 friends and i was this way growing up too i dont like drama so the less friends the less drama but my husband is deployed now so im looking at making new friends but i dont like friends who want it abt them and nothing else is important except wa they have to say

[deleted account]

Go online and look on Yahoo groups for something you're interested in (like scrapbooking, stamping, photography) and see if there are groups in your area. Check with the local YMCA or Parks and Recs department to see if there are things you can do to get involved and meet people. Find a place to volunteer locally - if you're on post, they have a LOT of volunteer opportunities. Off post, get involved in a church. I found a church and jumped right in - volunteered for their music ministry. Started off playing in their orchestra and made friends through that. Joined the Worship & Arts Sunday school class and made more friends. Started volunteering with the church as a whole as a photographer for their activities and events...made even more friends.

it is NEVER easy to move and make friends. Start BEFORE you move, with the online groups - you can get to know people that way.

When I was at Ft. Gordon, I met a lady who invited me to her church, and then subsequently to her playgroup and made fast friends that are still in my life today over 7 years later. We've PCS'ed 3 times since then, and this core group of non-military ladies still keep in touch. We're now at Ft. Jackson, only an hour from Ft. Gordon, and I get out there about once a month to see my old friends!

Ericka - posted on 10/16/2010

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if you have kids there are tons of free playgroups you can find them online just google playgroups and put the zip code with it :) find a nice park and go regularly many parents go after school with their kids to wear them out.
do you karaoke? both bases here have a karaoke night we used to go all the time and i met a few ppl that way. if you check online for your base website they generally have a newsletter with activities for families and couples. you can try a bowling league, pool league, take an art class, check out the local ymca. volunteer in the community. if you are religious find a church or a bible study to attend. some ppl have asked if other ppl here are at the same base and i guess have gotten together that way. good luck!

[deleted account]

I'm really introverted and have a hard time meeting people and making friends, too. The few friends I've made in the past year since we moved are from church, activities offered on base, and the our squadron's spouses' get-togethers.

[deleted account]

Def get out there, chat to other Mums at the park, in the checkout line. It may lead to a longtime friendship. Support for families can vary even here in Australia. If you have little kids join a kids playgroup, older kids at school, chat to Mums while waiting to drop off and pick up. This can then lead to an offer of a coffee catch up. You will never know what life brings unless you put yourself out there...Go for it girl as LIFE awaits.

Michelle - posted on 10/14/2010

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Where are you stationed? I live in Dahlgren and it's about the same here. I've been here since March and still haven't met any one I could really get close enough to talk to or hang out with. It was really hard for me at first and a little depressing, but I've just learned to get used to it. I am home with my son all day and he is just the light of my life so I just try to focus on being a good mom, tell myself I am only here to support my husband's career and pray that I get stationed someplace better next time around. Good luck girly!

Kelly - posted on 10/14/2010

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I know what you mean. I am at Fort Gordon, and I have tried to find any type of "mommy" group, and they just don't exist here... hopefully getting a part time job will help you!

Heidi - posted on 10/14/2010

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I've joined MOMS clubs in several places we lived through MOMS Club international. Go online and see if there is a chapter near you. Neat organization.

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