Husband's 1st Deployment coming up

D.Denise - posted on 09/08/2009

Sit down and have a family meeting. Let them know as far in advance as possible. Let them know that there will be letter writing/emails and phone calls while he's gone, but that the routine wil continue to stay the same. You will continue the routine and even try to add a few things to fill in the gaps, like a class or an activity that involves the kids. This time apart will be challenging as you'll have to be nurturer and disciplinarian! The kids will test you and you will be overwhelmed at times. Keep the lines of communication open and busy yourself with kids activities so that there's no CHANCE of any sort of "IMPROPER" relationships outside the marriage. Phone calls, letters, emails any form of communication is so very paramount. Remember, you have the kids to lean on, but he only has YOU. Also, you may want to become a member of the Key Wives group, where they get together an make videos, cards and such while their men are away on ship. Just a way to get together collectively as someone else that's going through the same thing. I wish you the best of luck! :)

Brenda - posted on 09/06/2009

My daughter is 12 and my son is 5 and they are also close to their dad, what I did was purchase a webcam for the home computer and also one for his laptop so that they could see each other all the time. My husband would always make it a point to be on in the evenings when he could so they could discuss how school is going or what they did over the weekend. Its never easy on anyone...try and build a routine that helps make the time pass...we always did movie nights and game nights and maybe you can call and talk to your family support center they made my kids fatdaddy's and pillow cases for free....I gave it to them when they were really missing him and they were thrilled....also having them pick out miss you cards or thinking of you cards once a week made them feel happy to be sending daddy something. Dont feel bad either when you need a little me time, so when the oportunity knocks...jump on it....and you are entitiled to a little pitty me party, god knows I have had a few....Good luck to you and yes I agree homecomings are the best....my hubby has been gone since Feb and will be home in a few....its really exciting....take care.

Kristen - posted on 08/28/2009

Before my husband left for deployment, he recorded a video of him reading our girls bedtime stories, saying happy birthday, merry Christmas and just messages of him saying hello and he missed us. This was nice when we were all missing him and needed our daddy fix. We did not have a web cam available but that would be nice if you do. My girls were 6 and 4 months at the time. My 6 year old took it real hard. She started acting out at school because she was mad that they sent her daddy away and just did not understand. She would never talk to me about it, so we ended putting her in counseling, which helped a lot. I also tried to keep her very busy. If your husband has time have him send cards and letters often, the kids and you will enjoy getting mail from him. The kids will also enjoy getting care packages ready to send and your husband will love getting them and letters from y'all. While my husband was gone I leaned on my family and friends for lots of support, so hopefully you have that available. Make a count down calendar or a jar with the same number of hershey kisses in it and each day the kids get a kiss and closer to seeing daddy. My 6 year old loved this idea. It will seem like the time is going by slow but it is over before you know it and the homecoming is the best!

Lori - posted on 08/28/2009

I was very fortunate as well, my husband did not deploy often, his last tour was in Iraq and our daughter was 10 when he left. We lived in WV and he lived in NC as we knew he would be retiring when he returned. This deployment was her first and I really worried about her but she was so strong...I did talk to the teachers and counselor at her school and they helped talk with her about her feelings, she really never talked to me about it and I think the reason was she thought I would break down which I did not do in front of her. I got her involved in cheerleading and gymnastics which kept us both busy, our house was also prone to anywhere from 2 to 5 extra kids at any given time. We emailed him and chatted on IM as much as we could, we sent him packages each month that she helped to decide what we would get him. Keeping busy was the key for us, I also worked full-time, went to school full-time, coached her cheer squad and did all the other things around the house. So the busier we were the faster the time went. Good luck.

Jessica - posted on 08/27/2009

Wow, 11 years without a deployment! That is very fortunate. I am a Navy wife. My husband has been in for six years and we are now on our 3rd deployment. He just came back Oct. 2008 from a 6 month tour and just left July 09 for an 8 month tour. He will be back in March 2010 just to leave again in Oct 2010 for a 6 month tour. After that he is up for shore duty. We are looking forward to it. For his 1st deployment, I only had my daughter. I just keep as busy as I can. I get yearly memberships to zoos, theme parks, etc. We play outside, go to the pool, and do arts and crafts. It never gets easy but, the time does seem to go by pretty fast. This will be the 1st deployment that my husband won't be here for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's. He was there for the birth of our son but, hasn't been there for any of his birthdays including his 3rd in 2 weeks. I know how hard it is. Keep yourself and your children busy and look forward to his homecoming :o)