Jessie - posted on 02/24/2009 ( 32 moms have responded )
Ok so here's the sitch... I have a 2 1/2 yr old daughter. We were last stationed in SD, found out hubby was going to be deployed for about a year so I moved us back to my hometown to be close to family and friends. 3 days after moving back home I find out that hubby was no longer being deployed, but instead we got orders overseas to Japan. We weren't scheduled to PCS until a few months later so I kept myself and my daughter in my hometown until it was PCS time. My daughter was doing really well, had friends, we had tons to do, etc.
We PCS to Japan, she's still doing fairly well even after a really rough flight. Then about a month and a half later I find out I'm pregnant with baby #2. I had really bad morning sickness for 3 1/2 months and so we didn't really go out much (I did my best to take her to playgroups and the park and such). During this time she started acting out here and there, but it was fairly manageable. Then the morning sickness goes away and I start getting us out more. Then I get hit with exhaustion (from having to go to the restroom constantly through the night and the baby kicking all the time) and we don't get out much again because I was so tired. Then she started acting out more. I understood it because I knew she was bored and wanted to go out and do all the things she was used to doing. Then we move into a bigger house (still at the same base), which was far away from all the things that she got accustomed to seeing. Then more fits came. Then she started painting her room with her poopie when she was supposed to be napping.
I get near the end of my pregnancy and she starts almost regularly painting her room with her poop, she throws fits almost every 5 minutes, I could barely get anything done around the house because she'd be doing things she knows she's not supposed to do, she started becoming destructive, and started becoming rough with the dog. Then I had the baby, was in the hospital for 48 hours (had a c-section) and so hubby was at home with her during this time. She just stopped listening, the fits have gotten worse, she's been painting with her poopie almost every single day (it doesn't take her long to make a giant mess - like less than 2 minutes), we can barely get out of the house without her screaming bloody murder when we try to get her in the car to go somewhere, etc etc etc.
She doesn't seem jealous of the baby so far. She loves him to bits. She's always wanting to help with him, wanting to play with him, and always talking to him. It's really cute and sweet.
I just don't know how to deal with her fits, the poopie painting, and the not listening. Now being that I've had a c-section there's not a lot that I can do. Hubby has taken 30 days of leave (10 days paternity, 20 personal leave) to stay home and help me with the house and kids since I'm a SAHM and can't really do much due to the c-section. He started doing everything and it was so wonderful for the first week. Then he just stopped doing really much of anything. He stopped cleaning, still helped with the kids but not as much, and just pretty much spends all his time playing video games.
He's not handling our 2 1/2 yr old's behavior very well and has resorted to mostly yelling and so listening to him yell on a constant basis and then the fits of my 2 1/2 yr old on top of that it's driving me crazy. It's stressin me out.
Ok so here's what I want to know...
Has anyone else experienced anything like this?
How have you handled it?
How did you get a child to stop painting with their poopie?
How did you at least reduce the fits (I know you can't stop them all together)?
How did you get your hubby to stay calm and stop all the yelling?
How did you get your child to stop being destructive & stop rough housing the pets?
What can I do to stay calm and not stress out, yell, or just freak out from all the chaos?
What advice can you give me?