I cant bring myself to trust my daughter in daycare or with a babysitter!

Corinne - posted on 06/15/2009

i completely agree! my wanting to work is for my sanity though! even if its not to work..just to get out of the house and go see a movie! im not looking for fulltime child care...just someone or some place that will allow me to drop her off for like 2 or 3 hours once or twice a week! allmy friends here dont have kids her age! i want to socialize her with other babies her age too! :)

Anj - posted on 06/15/2009

Dear Corinne,

Im not sure if I would be much help to you in this posting. Quite honestly, with the way this world is with so many perverts and crazy people who want to hurt children...this is the number one reason why I am a stay at home mom. I guess the second reason which really alligns with the first reason is that I don't want to miss anything! I want to be there for it all. The first step, first word, etc. Hubby already misses so much. So, me being a stay at home mom...at least one parent is there for everything. I always say to mommies your child is only little once. The brief time when all they want is you because once they go to school...all they want is their friends. Enjoy the precious moments and it is worth every bit of financial sacrifice.

Halley - posted on 06/14/2009

I just went through the SAME thing you're going through! and I felt the same way with the online mommy groups, they weren't really geared towards my daughters age. So to find a babysitter so I could return back to work, the county I live in does this thing where when state cert. babysitters have openings they call the county and then theres a website you can go to to see who has openings, and you just call the daycare providers. I really put myself out there and was so desperate to find someone I was asking the daycare providers advise...haha....you go and meet the people and your mom instinct will let you know if it's a good place or not....I hope this helps!

Christal - posted on 06/14/2009

I am a stay at home mom as well. I have been in child care since i was 12. helping to raise my niece and nephew. i worked in a daycare for 2 1/2 years and i was a nanny for 2 years. it is very hard, prob more so for the parent than the child. I agree with jessica west, Nanny's give your children more one on one time and interaction than a daycare would. they are there more for you, helping with house work and such. and depending on the age of the person. the nanny may make a good friend as well. maybe you can do a few hours here or there. and have the nanny come in a day while your there as well, get you more comfortable with the situation. (may be a little uncomfortable for the nanny at first). but as you and your child get more used to the nanny, you can start to spend less and less time there and take more hours at your job. hope this helps. good luck!

Jessica - posted on 06/13/2009

I had the same problem when I got out of the Navy and decided to go back to school full time. My husband was deployed when I started school so instead of sending them to daycare, I got a nanny. She doesn't cost a penny more than daycare would have and is much more involved with my girls. She even helps me do housework. I know I can trust her because she has become part of the family. You should look into it. Hope it helps.

Elizabeth - posted on 06/12/2009

Check out the MOPS website and video. They show 3 groups in Olympia and 10 in the surrounding area. I totally understand how you are feeling and I think you might really enjoy MOPS. I hope this helps.

www.mops.org

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZto8cEKv...

Corinne - posted on 06/12/2009

near olympia, wa

Katrina - posted on 06/12/2009

Militaryonesource.com screens centers for you and has them all neatly listed for you, so check that out. Any good center or in home care provider is going to allow you to observe your child interacting with them and the other kids. Trust your gut and your baby. You'll know right away if she's comfortable with the person.

Elizabeth - posted on 06/12/2009

What area are you in?

Corinne - posted on 06/12/2009

ty! i do enjoy being a stay at home mom..the part time job is really for my benefit to get a break and earn extra cash and get out of the house!! ive looked into local mom and me groups but there isnt anything nearby for her age group! i also looked online for things to do, outside the house, and there wasnt anything close by that was age appropriate either! i just live in a crappy area! lol

Elizabeth - posted on 06/12/2009

I have to be honest and say that I disagree with the other posts. I think that the feeling you have about leaving your baby with a stranger is good and natural. You are her mother and she needs you. If at all possible you should honor your feelings by staying home with her. This time with her will go by so quickly and you will never be able to get it back. You have a lifetime to work and give your time to someone else, you only have a few short years to spend with your daughter before she goes off to school. Give your self and your daughter that gift.

Of course every mom needs a break now and then and without family near that can be tough. I would suggest looking into Mother's Day out programs that would give you a couple hours to run errands or get coffee. Also, you should look into MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers). They are a great group that provide childcare while giving you some mommy time with other mothers who are where you are. I hope this helps. You are such a treasure and I know your daughter is so grateful to have you!

Corinne - posted on 06/12/2009

yeah i worked at a church day care for almost 3 years and i worked with the one year olds! its just sooo different being the parent! lol especially with some of the stories you hear of bad care centers!! AHHH! hehe thx so much!

Nicole - posted on 06/12/2009

I used to work at a daycare before I had my baby and I can't speak for all centers, but mine was a good one. All the staff had been background checked and had some training in child development. Most of the younger girls there were going to college to get degrees related to the field. And most of the older people had been there for years. Low turnover rate is a good sign at a daycare, it means the employees have been there for a while and the kids typically have the same caregivers each day. Another thing to look for is a low child to teacher ratio. In our center it was 4-1 for babies, 5-1 for toddlers, 8-1 for twos, and 10-1 for the rest. You should also be allowed to drop by unexpectedly at anytime. Any center that's "off limits" to parents at any time is a bad sign. My center discouraged drop offs and pick ups during nap time just because it was disruptive to the kids who were napping. As for the stranger/separation anxiety, it's just a developmental stage they go through. I know it breaks your heart to leave her crying, reaching out for you, etc. but trust me, they're over it before you even get back in the car! After a while she won't even notice you're gone. I think day care can be a good thing: baby gets to play with other kids her age and learn to socialize and you get a much needed break!

Corinne - posted on 06/12/2009

no just my hubby is military! im a stay athome mom but i would like to start working! i want to start with a couple hours maybe 2 days a week but i really dont trust strangers with her! im getting better though! we live pretty far from the base so i was looking into local daycares!

Donna - posted on 06/12/2009

I am confused by your note are both of you in the military..if so than you are going to have to learn to trust sitters as you must return to work.. if not than get to know people on base.. there are usually home day cares that operate in housing, they are checked out and inspected etc.. maybe you could just start with a few hours at a time and work up to it.. your daughter will have fun and know that you are coming back for her.. your daughter will most likely do better than you give her credit for..

Corinne - posted on 06/06/2009

unfortunatly my biggest problem is that im so far from anyone i know and the base! i also dont know any moms or daycare centers nearby and i dont have any idea where to meet other moms in my town either! most of my friends, military wives, dont have kids either! if they do they are a lot older than my daughter! i looked up mom groups online and the nearest one to me, that was age appropriate was 2 hours away!

Kathleen - posted on 06/06/2009

visit the sites. Although you might have axiety about leaving your child with someone else, visit those sites and get accustomed to them. Obviously if they are dirty, and i don't mean toys all over but dirty and nasty that's a sign that it's not a good idea. View the interactions with the staff towards the children. I can't say I completly understand what you're goin through. We lived on base both the bases I've been with my husband for. In japan, my neighbor and I were pretty close and watched my son. Here it's the same thing. So if you find a place near your house, check it out....and try to talk to other moms out there who might be able to give you ideas on babysitters or daycares.