is anyone ever sick of military life?

Sarah - posted on 12/27/2010 ( 15 moms have responded )

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i love my husband and extremely proud of him.... but i feel like the military life takes so much out of the quality of life for our kiddos being close to family is extrememly important to me and i really enjoy family time... i feel like we have adjusted really well and i know how to handle all the military throws at us but gosh how do you handle your kids not seeing family much.... with 2 kids its just so hard to go 1400 miles away to visit family :( i wish there was a happy medium :( but i dont want the hubbs to give up his career so i will be happy when it comes to family... just wondering if im the only one that doesnt know what to think about it all sometimes :S

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Courtney - posted on 01/17/2011

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I am also very close with my family ... VERY close! So it was hard to move away from them. There is a 2000 mile gap between us and in about 4 months it will get bigger (going to Japan). Before I moved away my mother was always taking vacations from work to go on rides around the country on motorcycles with my step dad, she has now traded in those vacations to come out here to California as much as she possibly can. She especially misses the kids, that is probably the toughest on her. It is already hard enough that we can't just hang out whenever we want. My mother is my best friend, to get over our "mommy daughter withdrawals" we talk on the phone about 3 times a day and text constantly throughout the day! We go on skype a lot too with the kids. Luckily for my husband's family, they only live 45 minutes away, so we see them about every other weekend.

Another thing I hate about the military is that you make friends ... then move. I am pretty out going now ... but I really wasn't too much before. Like right now I have a very good friend I made out here .. and in June I am going to Japan and she is moving to NC lejeune ... so I have no idea when I will ever see her again, or if I will ever see her again. It makes me very sad. It sucks to have to go through those things. To put roots in somewhere and then get uplifted and moved.
But that is one thing I love about the military, like someone said before, you get so many opportunities to live places you never thought you'd get to live. Like I never in a lifetime would have thought I'd be living in Japan .. and I'm moving there for 3 years (so it's like a 3 year vacation paid for!). There are some down falls to the military, but there are so many more pros. You get medical, retirement, support from other military members, educational benefits, etc. So stick it in there.

Melissa - posted on 01/06/2011

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I know exactly how you feel! I'm from Southern Cal & my hubby is from Missouri. We used to alternate Christmases with our families and were usually the ones to travel. Mostly because ALL my family is in Cali and ALL his family was in MO. Now that we have 2 girls though the traveling, like you said, is a lot more difficult and a heck of a lot more expensive!!! We have lived 4 years in FL, 3 years in Japan, and 3 years in VA. NEVER very close to either family. I can tell you that after 11 1/2 years being married to the Marine Corps that the first few years were very difficult for me because I too was VERY close to my family. Fortunately my Mom was able to come out be there for the delivery of both my kids and his folks came out afterwards for both. No, we don't see our families (especially extended family) as ofen as we wish, but the life experiences that we have all gained are priceless. To take the angst out of not seeing everyone very much we got a landline with unlimited long distance and let the girls call their grandmas as often as they wish.
Just so you know, it hasn't always been easy nor fun, and there were times where I was fed up with life as a Marine wife, but if you can put that chin up and get thorugh it, you can do anything!!! Not sure if any of this rambling helps at all! I wish you and your family the best!!!

Brandi - posted on 01/04/2011

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I agree with you Sarah. It is hard to be away from family when he is gone but I feel like I have benefited a lot from learning more about myself while having to cope. There are times that I hate the services but they provide for my family and I know my job is to be his support system at home when he goes to war. We are about 16 hours from home but it has been the best for our family to get out on our own with no one around.

Alycia - posted on 01/04/2011

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My issue is that it's really hard for me to really get grounded somewhere. To make good friends and know the area well enough to be really comfortable... then everytime I do I get uprooted and thrown into it again. It takes me two good years to really call somewhere home, then I lose it all... i hate that



Next year will be my first year that you aren't close enough to family to go home on a regular basis... I don't think I'm going to handle that well.

Carolyn - posted on 12/28/2010

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I know for me growing up as a Navy brat, our grandparents would always come see us and then for about 2-4 weeks in the summer my mom would take us to their house for the summer (in another state). You can try Skyping with family more often, maybe have your family come and visit you. Especially your parents on both sides. I'm sure it's easier and cheaper for them to travel than it is for you with 2 kids. I guess I have never thought of it, well especially since we just had our little girl. We were able to have both our moms come to Barbados for our daughters first Christmas. When we move back to the states, his mom will be about 12 hours away and my family will be on the east coast. I'm sure you're kids will be okay with not living near family......that's why I think Skyping is a great thing. They can see and talk to family who are thousands of miles away!

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Crystal - posted on 01/07/2011

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i knew how my life would be when we got married i do hate the military life somedays but i dont have to worry abt were im living or money I grew up in a small town i would never see wat i've seen if it wasnt for the army i get to travel rather live in place most wish they could yeah we dont get to see our families but its not really hard for us we are not very close to our families we preffer to have our on time my husbnad is deployed just left a few months ago i have only been to his families for christmas i havent been home to see my family but my mom and my daddy came to visit i have always be aloner and my husband is the same way we have friends here we start a new life everytime we move because u have to start all over everytime which gets hard but u make the best with the life u have

Dolly - posted on 01/07/2011

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You are definitely not alone. Some days, I just want to take my daughter and hop a flight home. I have fantasies of buying a house and just letting him finish this on his own. These things will never happen. I married for love. (Next life, it's definitely going to be money.) So, I just look for people, in whichever community we may be in, who make me feel comfortable and supported. People who don't make me feel guilty when I ,very occasionally, ( such a lie) feel the need to complain loudly about the military life. People who feel like family. Fortunately most military spouses are forgiving and accepting. Just know that there is an entire community prepared to support you in the best way that we know how. Whether that is to take you out for a drink, or take your kids out to the park is your call, but I'm sure there are people willing to do either. Keep your head up and know that they have to retire eventually.

Rebecca - posted on 01/06/2011

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I'm not sure if you know about this, but while he's gone you and the kids can fly 'free' on space-a, mac, hop flights. You need to contact the flight deck and/or airport in your area and provide deployment orders. It can be a hassle b/c the flights can't really be 'scheduled' but it's free... and if you have the time to do it, it's a nice way to go on trips or visit family.

Denise - posted on 01/06/2011

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I think we all think about it. We are now over 20 years in, but have young children; 7,5 and 11 weeks. I know that I miss the community where i grew up. When we were in Europe it was even harder. Now with my hubby gone for his 2nd 365 in 3 years, I really would love to be home. But with the kids loving their school, it was silly to move. Part of me really wants him to retire and we can finally buy our "Forever Home" and put some holes in the walls.
My kids miss their Grandparents too. I am lucky that my folks love to travel and have been to where ever we are stationed. But if we end up in Japan, that may be the end of it. ;)
We have a wonderful life in the miltary, but wonderful has to have it's "strings".
You are not alone.

Sarah - posted on 01/05/2011

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thanks everyone.... im glad i am not alone... nice to feel when you really feel like you are.... thank you military :)

Karin - posted on 01/05/2011

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Its definitely hard to be away from family and everything you know. And the military life doesnt make it any easier on us. Theres a 3600 mile flight to our hometowns. But i love being with him and being able to see him everyday more. I just think about our son as well and i know that we've made the right decision. We have many more oppurtunities to be able to go places & see new things. Hang in there!

Sarah - posted on 01/02/2011

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cassie... im glad ya'll get to see them at least! just with our jobs and the familys its hard to make it work... its alright because we are where my family is but i feel like i need to get the kids to NC more often... but not really happening like i would like... and bridget! i totally understand NM is far away from NC and its just not really POSSIBLE most of the time... and im glad im not the only one taht feels that way... thanks for the encouraging words everyone!

Bridget - posted on 01/01/2011

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Its pretty tough on us. We have three little ones and they haven't even met half of my husbands family.We are stationed at Shaw AFB in south carolina and his family lives all the way out in california. My family is up in NJ so i get to see them maybe once a year. it's tough but i'm really proud of what my husband does and try to stay as supportive as i possibly can even though sometimes i really do miss my family and would like my stability for our children.

Cassie - posted on 01/01/2011

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I visit my family in Arizona once a year and my mom comes up here to CT a couple times a year. When we can't get out to visit we skype and text. At least then my daughter knows her family because she can see them on the computer so she can put a face to the name. Sometimes it seems like you have to make a new family with the people around you. I hope things get better.

Sarah - posted on 12/28/2010

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thanks its just hard and my hubby's family dont do the computer thing so i dont think i can get them to start :( and they say they are too busy to come but we apparently are able to go? idk i just wish it was easier for us to travel get leave and to see family and have sunday dinners regularly :( its just not what i thought i would be doing when i got married but that was before i married into the military guess that i was just never exposed so its a lot different for me!

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