Is there Any Woman whoes Husband is a Recruiter right now? Need some Advice?

Samantha - posted on 10/28/2010

Hey Samantha, Hang in there. Give it a real shot not based on what other people have done. This is YOUR husband and no one knows him better then you. Here's the thing, your husband doesn't have to be a recruiter to cheat. He doesn't need the long hours with no accountability as an excuse. If someone wants to cheat, all they need is 10 minutes alone with the home-wrecker, and ANYONE can manage that. So don't think that him being a recruiter is the catalyst to him cheating. Trust yourself and your husband until you have real reason not to. On a side note, and please don't take this the wrong way, where there is smoke, there's fire, trust your female intuition. But I'm sure you have NOTHING to worry about!!! Good luck

Cathy - posted on 10/27/2010

We are at the end of our three year tour of recruiting and it is hard on families but as long as you keep busy it make it easier .Join Mothers of preschooler it is a great program that helps especially as a new mom. join religious groups church groups if your religious,Join a moms club they are international and have been a great help for me as well .Good luck and stay strong

Stacy - posted on 10/27/2010

My husband was a recruiter for 4 yrs.. It was a very stressful time! You hear all the stories of infidelity and it makes you a little insecure. You have to stay strong and trust and remember it's only temporary:)

Jessica - posted on 10/15/2010

My husband started recruiting August and so far so good he still helps me with our son and still gets home at a decent hour. I really don't think you have anything to worry about if you trust him. Recruiting is all about TRUST.. Just make sure to do your part to and support him for what he is doing. Best of Luck! :)

Susan - posted on 09/26/2010

My husband recruited for 4 years. It was long hours and stress, but now he is deployed and I would take recruiting over that any day. He never got in any trouble with any female recruitees, he was very aware of not sending the wrong message to them and always following the rules for recruiters that are set for a reason. We did say a few recruiters get themselves into trouble, but that was only becuase there were doing things with young females they should not have been. Its all a numbers game. If the station is making their numbers the hours and flexibility will be much better than if they are not. There will be good months and bad months. The best advice I can give you is don't make it harder for him by being mad at him because of the hours he is working. If your marriage is strong and you have trust in your relationship this will not be that difficult for you.

Andrea - posted on 09/26/2010

I live it everyday we have 2yrs & 7 more months until recruiting duty is over. It's long hours, lots of time away from home, and kinda sucks. We have 2 kids, a dog, and I work full time. When I am home getting dinner ready, homework, bath time, etc it would be nice to have the hubby home, or on wknds when he is picking some one up or dropping them off at meps. Stressful on a marriage is very surreal to say the least. Thank God he's not deployed though or on the Drill field.

Crystal - posted on 09/23/2010

its very hard and very stressful on a marriage i met and married my husband while he was a recruiter it was very hard never any good days but if ur at a good recruiting office it should be good my husband on the other hand was at one that was never expected to make there numbers but still pushed so hard that we almost didnt make it a yr we have been done with recruiting for almost 3 yrs and we are happy except for him working and gettingready to deploy next month one good thing abt recruiting is u cant deploy i wish yall luck we never want recruiting duty again i dont think i could go through it again we would get a divorce for sure

Naomi - posted on 09/15/2010

Hi Samantha!
My husband has been an Army recruiter for two years now. Prior to this assignment, I was VERY nervous about recruiting. Not only had I heard all of the horror stories, but my husband brother, who was also a recruiter (but for the Marines) was chaptered out of the military because of females. So needless to say, I did not want my husband around that amount of temptation. However, since being on recruiting duty, our marriage has improved significantly. He is home no later thann 6pm, which gives him more time with us and the kids. As far as females go, they are not allowed to visit, drive, or associate with females without another recruiter with them. This keeps them accountable, and prevents hiccups. I have learned to trust him on a different level, so I don't stress about where he is or who he is with. They have made drastic changes to the life of the miitary recruiter to minimize stress on the family. It has been such a wonderful experience, my husband has decided to convert to a full-time recruiter. I promise, you will love it, besides the best part.....NO DEPLOYMENTS! I hope this helps.
Naomi

Nikki - posted on 09/10/2010

My husband has been a recruiter for 1+ years now, and we have 3 children (5, 2, and 1), and it can definitely make you feel like a single parent. I had trouble with the job for the first three months because I thought we would have more time together after 4 deployments, which we do but not as much as I thought. The best advice I can give is to stay busy, and it might sound harsh, but learn to plan things without him and if he is there, than its an added bonus. As for the cheating thing, that has nothing to do with the job, that has to do with the husbands themselves. So just like everyone else says, you just have to trust that you know him well enough to know he wont do anything to jeopardize his marriage or his career.

Dorene - posted on 09/10/2010

I won't lie, it is hard & it does suck. My husband has been recruiting for 2+ years now. He works a min 10hrs/day and at least 2 Saturdays a month. He has had to miss 1st days, Open Houses, doctor appointments & dinner every night. As for cheating, I joke that he doesn't have enough time & we don't have enough money for him to cheat! All that aside, he comes home every night & I can count on Sundays as Family Day. Take advantage of district gatherings to get to know other families; we have a group page on Facebook. Try not to let any feelings bottle up; be open & honest! Good luck; you're not alone!

Marie - posted on 09/09/2010

Samantha - Military OneSource on line will give you excellent information and provide an a lot of resources. Marie

Ericka - posted on 09/09/2010

Samantha, My husband was on DI duty which is similar to Recruiting in the hours of operation are brutal. I have learned quite a few things. First, it is only going to last 3 years. Plan for these 3 years to be very demanding on you both with his job and crazy hours and you running the household pretty much alone. Second, you are going to be tired and stressed. Try and also understand he feels the same way. Try to arrange some mommy time. Enrolling children in different activities gives you as the parent some time to unwind. Spend lots of time with friends who have children your age. This will also offer a time for you to relax as the children play together. Lastly, I understand the concern about other women. It seems as if they have no self respect and throw themselves at married men., but you have to trust your husband. Pray constantly and give him all the support you can and it's you he will be thinking about. Send him daily texts, tell him how proud you are of him, put little notes in his lunch or on the car stirring wheel, things that express your love. Alot of problems evolve from the wife not understanding and nagging the spouse while the other women are whispering in their ear how they would never treat them that way.
All and all it will be okay. Have faith in God and your husband. Only you and your husband can destroy your marriage. Simply choose not to.
Blessings,
Ericka

Erica - posted on 09/09/2010

Hey girlie!!!! My husband is a recruiter in maryland also!!!! We are in the Baltimore Battallion!!! Recruiting is NOT THAT BAD!!! I LOVE the fact that my husband is a recruiter!!! I NEVER have to worry about him getting deployed, especially since we have an 11 month old baby!! I woul not let some peoples bad experiences affect mine. Everyone has different experiences. I thought I should post on this comment because it seems as if everyone is speaking negatively about recruiting. I do have to say though, that my husband has an AWESOME station commander. He makes sure my hubby is at EVERY doctors appointment and all his recruiters are usually home by 6pm EVERY night. The only time that it is unusual hours is if they have to drop someone off at the hotel, or a late interview with a prospect. The key to successful recruiting and balancing a family is planning. My husband plans his interviews during the day, usually before 2. So that the prospects will be interviewed and tested WAY before 5pm. My husband recruits in the Oxon Hill, Md area!! It is the HARDEST area in Maryland. So you would think that he would be working horrible hours. But that is RAREL the case. As far as cheating on you, that is something that you would have to worry about regardless. If you do not trust your husband or have confidence in yourself, that will be an issue, WHEREEVER he goes!!! You have to believe in yourself, your husband and your marriage!!!! It will ALL work out. DO NOT get discouraged by others negativity. You have to make the best out of your situation. Even if he does work long hours. At least he is coming home and not on a 12 month deployment, right? I want you to keep your head up chica!!!! Ignore the negativity and look at the positive side of things!!! It is going to all work out!! Find out what Battallion your husband is in, maybe it is Baltimore!!! if it is, we have ATC every year in Atlantic City!!! All the wives get together and have a BLAST!!! Hopefully, you are near me, so I can help you out. Just in case you need a little support, i am here!!! Smile girlie!!! TTYL!!

Tina - posted on 09/09/2010

My husband just came off of a recruiting assignment and it was very tough for us. I was very fortunate that cheating was not an issue for us, but I had a very hard time with the hours because they are never the same from day to day. Plus his weekends were never his own. There was always something going on. You will need a lot of patients. If he has never given you any reason to doubt his being faithful to you then you really need to hold on to that and try to get to know all the other recruiter's wives. It helps to have them to talk to. It will be tough but it will be over before you know it. If you have any other questions you can always send me a private message. I hope everything goes well for you!

Crystal - posted on 09/09/2010

when i met and married my husband he was an army recruiter it is a hard life we made it throw recruiting it was hard they have alot of recruiter get in trouble for messing with the girls my husband never did but one from another town did u have to be strong and try to find a friend one of my best friends was a recruiter wife so it made it esier because she knew wat i was going through we all made it so can u it is hard and nothing like the real army except for the lies that one thing that never changes good luck

Cathy - posted on 09/08/2010

My friend's husband was a recruiter not long ago and he was always getting phone calls and ALWAYS working (whether at home or in the office). It is tough and they had issues but it is important to set aside time for each other as well as communicate. That is the best answer I can give you. Being a military spouse comes with certain responsibilities and feeling like a single parent is one of them. Unfortunately, I have to give up more than him but I do it with pride for our military members and country. Us spouses serve our country in a different way and you husband will not be a recruiter forever, just a short time. Keep looking forward and make the best of your situation! Good luck!

Marisa - posted on 09/08/2010

My husband is in Recruiter's school at this moment, in San Diego. I worry, too, but I guess it's just one of those things where you have to trust that your husband will be smart and do what's best for his family. Unfortunately my husband has given me reason to not trust him in the past, so this is going to be really trying for us, but we have a baby who needs both of us, and I have to learn that this is his job, and I have to do my part in supporting him and just hoping for the best. I hope it works out for you. If you ever want to talk, you can send me a private message. We need to stick together as wives, and it's nice to have someone who is going through the same thing. Your husband is a Marine, right?

Tonya - posted on 09/07/2010

I have a friend whose husband was a Marine recruiter a few years ago. I would ask your husband to try as much as possible to never be by himself with a female recruitee.I personally think it should be policy, it can save a career, as well as a relationship, just never have even the appearance of anything wrong. My hubby has been in the AF for 16 years, and I know manning can play a big role in these things, but it is really common sense. Maybe he can suggest it to his office and they can work out a way to do this. It would help a lot if they have a female in the office too. I don't know if this will help, but just a suggestion. Other than that, all I can say is hold on, what you've heard is right....it is a lot like a deployment, but he's there occasionally. Hopefully the MEPS station is not too far, that is one of the things that can take a lot of time away. You need to be commited and understanding, sure there are things that will be hard to deal with, but if you want to stay together, don't let it even be an option to walk away, for either of you. You have precious gift, a child, that needs a mommy and daddy who love each other first and most so that they can see that they are secure in a family that will do what they need to to be successful. Keep yourself busy and don't rely on him to always be there when you need it, he won't be, his job unfortunately will have to come first sometimes. That isn't his choice, so try not to take it out on him. It's hard to be the man and want to do your best for your family, but not always be able to or at least feel like you aren't. I think the best thing you can do is just be supportive and patient.