Last 3 months of Deployment

Marissa - posted on 11/01/2010

Sorry to hear that I was lucky my husband came home on 10/8 for his 2 weeks leave and he should be home for good by Christmas. So I am just anxious now trying to get everything back to perfect before he gets here I am excited and nervous but his 2 weeks leave were perfect we got along great and had so much fun. I can't wait for him to come home from Iraq. I pretty much did it all myself before he left so the only"new" thing that got added to my list was fix things. This was his 1st deployment in our 10 years together.

Megan - posted on 10/12/2010

That is all you can do. Stay busy busy busy and you will find time goes by faster.

Determined - posted on 10/12/2010

My husband has about 3 weeks left of deployment. I am having the same feelings you are. I find my self getting more frustrated with my daughter but I think it's because I know soon I won't have to do everything on my own so I'm getting anxious for the help. Try to keep your self busy, the busier you are the faster the days go by.

Andrea - posted on 10/08/2010

Yes, that is what we are so afraid of, David missing everything! You were an FRG leader? I can see its alot of work. I think mine just likes power...there is a definate hidden motive, if you read between the lines. I am a new wife and I have made mistakes, well one BIG mistake, but I learned from it and moved on. You're right, you learn what to say, not to say, what to do and not to do...I'm not sure I will be so trusting next time and I'll have to try and discern the people that are good to be around and bad! I gotta give you kudo's for doing all of that! It takes a strong woman to do all of that!

Carol - posted on 10/07/2010

That is true. Deployments are hard but you are right. You learn something from each deployment. What you should do and not do. But remember to take care of yourself. If you don't take care of you, then it gets worse. I understand on the FRG thing, believe me. I did that role for 3 years and it is hard. You have to take care of your wives. Especially for new wives who have never been through this before. It is not fair to them. Since I had the experience I did as much as I could, at least I hope I did, to help out with whatever they needed, answered whatever question they had. I was on call 24/7, worked full time and had kids. Stick with what works for you though. I understand about wanting to go Active Duty. My husband, also David, has been active for 21 years. We have been married for 14 years. He has missed birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, surgeries. And I know it hurt him as well. But it goes with the territory but still hurts.

Andrea - posted on 10/07/2010

Deployment is hard...period...but next time I will know what I need to get taken care of so I don't stress so much. We aren't on a base, so its hard to find support near us. I had an issue with my FRG leader, so when I ask questions she doesn't really answer. We have seriously thought of going Active Duty when he gets back, but we are so afraid of him missing out on the kids birthdays holidays etc. We miss each other so much, Dave has decided to just go to school and start his own business at some point. We shall see what happens...whatever happens atleast we will be together LOL

Carol - posted on 10/07/2010

Now that is tough when you don't live on base. And you are right. If you are not living the life some people are clueless. Not there fault but it happens. It is great that you have just 1 friend. Sometimes that is all you need. It is awesome you are finding ways to keep busy and having projects. That always helps them as much as you. It gives them something to look forward to as well. And I hope this is the last one you have to do. If not just know that they do not get easier with the next one. People think "oh you've been through this before you know what to expect". Yes and no. Times change, people change. Just know you have people out there who have "been there done that" and we understand when no one else does.

Andrea - posted on 10/07/2010

Erin, I haven't had a ME day throughout this deployment. I'll have to find a babysitter so I can do that! I may just want to catch up on sleep! LOL

Andrea - posted on 10/07/2010

Thanks for the encouragement Carol! Ya, I totally agree to the first 3 months, then the uphill battle with the next few months...then I got used to doing everything, then R & R came, and it didn't hit me for a few weeks, but I'm feeling better...I got pictures and put them in envelopes so he can open something everyday until he is home. I got him a photo album so he can put them in how he likes and I baked him like 5 batches of brownies, I'm sending tomorrow. So ya having a project really helps!! I agree if it weren't for friends I would be a crazy person...well sometimes I am. I've had 1 friend that has been there through the thick and thin. Family doesn't help, they are clueless. It has made me a stronger person. This is our first deployment. We are National Guard, so we don't live on a base. So I'm juggling civilian life and military life. I wish there was more support! Wow 4 deployments in 6 years...

Carol - posted on 10/07/2010

@ Megan, deployments are draining. We have all the responsibility of 2 people when it is only 1 person doing everything. Yes we chose this life but still. It gets tiring and some days you just want to give up. Been there, done that. Especially with kids, work and all the responsibility that goes with being a spouse. If it were not for great friends and support I don't know what I would have done. Good luck and hang in there.

Megan - posted on 10/07/2010

I feel like that now...and this is my husbands 4 deployment...This one has been extra draining I do not know why

Carol - posted on 10/07/2010

You are totally feeling what I am sure most of us have felt. I have been through 4 deployments in 6 years. The first 3 months seem to go a little fast. Then you get to the next 3-4 months and it is an up hill battle but you can do it. Then the last 3 months drag it seems like for eternity. Exhaustion, sleepless nights and wishing the day would hurry up and get there. But you are on the downslope. You have made 9 months of what I am sure were intense times. Just know you are not alone. We have all been there and hae survived somehow. We are military spouses. Like the Nike add says "Just do it". That is what we do. We just do it some how. I wish you luck in making it in the next few months.

Erin - posted on 10/07/2010

Have you had a you day? That can really help to recharge. I abosrbed myself with my son so much at the start of deployment that near the end I was just tired all the time. Then I got a "me day" and it gave me a boost. Dins someone to watch your little one and go do something for you even if its just for a few hours.

Andrea - posted on 10/07/2010

Thank you Anne!

Anne - posted on 10/07/2010

My husband has 3 months til he comes home, and I started a work out plan that will finish a few weeks before he comes home. I'm also trying to squeeze in working on what was going to be Christmas cards, but since he'll be home after Christmas, I'll probably do something other than a Christmas theme. I figure I'll wait until he gets home to send them so I can include a "finally home" picture for everyone. You've made it this far, get your calendar out and mark out the days with a good ole X as they go by. Before you know it, those 3 months will be marked off & you'll be holding him in your arms. Good luck with what ever project(s) you choose!

Andrea - posted on 10/04/2010

Thanks Ladies! I am feeling a little re-charged, yesterday at Church, I felt renewed. He will give me the strength! I am going to think about a project. I'm not one of those home improvement people. I do like crafts though and fall is my fav time of the year. So I'll be filling my time with crafts! Thanks for the advice!

Heather - posted on 10/03/2010

yes sweetie i have my hubby will be home in a week i just kept myself as busy as i could so the time would go by fast and it pretty much did i wish you the best and for your hubby to return home to you safely

Candi - posted on 10/02/2010

Set a goal. That makes the time go by so fast. The first few months and the last few months are always the slowest. I would always find a home improvement project. With 3 kids, I knew it wouldn't be done overnight, so it was a nice task. Heck it took over a week for me to paint our hallway! I only had about an hour a day to work on it with my crazy schedule. Then I renovated my bathroom and finished it a day or 2 before my husband came back. Don't worry, the next few months will be over before you know it. Good luck