MY CHILD AND ADOPTION

Latoya - posted on 02/12/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

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TRISTYN..THE LOVE OF MY LIFE...HAS A REAL FATHER NOW. U ALL SEEN HOW I TALK ABOUT HIM. HE CLAIMS HER..HAS CLAIMED HER SINCE FEB OF LAST YEAR!! HE DOESNT LOOK AT HER AS HIS STEP CHILD BUT AS HIS BIOLOGICAL CHILD. THAT TAKES A REAL MAN TO DO. BUT WE ALL KNOW THERE ARE LEGAL ISSUES WITH THAT. HE IS NOT HER BIO FATHER,SO HE WANTS TO ADOPT HER..LAW IS BE MARRIED FOR 6 MON THS AND HE CAN..PROBLEM WITH THAT..THE BIO FATHER HAS TO SIGN HIS RIGHTS AWAY..OK NO PROBLEM..HE SAID he would sign over his rights (ALMOST AFTER A YEAR OF ME BEGGING FOR HIM TO BECAUSE I ALREADY KNEW HE WAS GOING TO "ABANDON" US AFTER MOVING TO ALABAMA)...I HAV NOT HEARD FROM HIM SINCE THNKSGIVING AND IT WAS THAT DAY THAT HE SAID HE WOULD SIGN OVER HIS RIGHTS..I HAVE THE PAPERS AND ALL..ALL HE HAD TO DO WAS TAKE THEM TO A NOTARY PUBLIC AND SIGN THEN AND MAIL THEM BACK TO ME! HIS PHONE MYSTERIOUSLY DOESNT WORK AFTER THAT CALL. I MAILED HIM A LETTER EXPLAINING THAT ALL I WANT IS HIS RIGHTS.. :( IM IN SUCH TURMOIL YALL.. THIS MAN IVE BEN WITH FOR A YEAR LOVES HER MORE THAN MEL HAS EVER LOVED ME IN THE YEARS IVE KNOWN HIM AND EVER LOVED TRISTYN SINCE WE FOUND OUT I WAS PREGNANT WITH HER!!! THAT IS SAD!! RENARD HASNT EVEN MET TRISTYN IN PERSON YET,WITH HIM BEING OVERSEAS AND NOW WE ARE GOING TO GET HER TO BRING HER TO CALI NEXT WEEK. U SHOULD ALL SEE HIM AND HOW EXCITED HE IS.


POINT BLANK..MEL IS NO WHERE TO BE FOUND. AND I DONT KNOW HOW RENARD IS GOING TO BE ABLE TO ADOPT HER WITHOUT MEL SIGNING HIS RIGHTS OVER. IDK WHO TO ASK FOR HELP IN THIS SITUATION. IVE READ THAT WEN THE PARENTS OF A BABY ARE UNWED,THE FATHER HAS NO LEGAL RIGHTS. (THAT WAS IN A WELFARE OFFICE SO ITS TRUE)...IF NEBDY KNOWS NETHING OR NE SERVICES I COULD CALL,PLEASE LET ME KNOW. RENARD AND I WANT WATS BEST FOR TRISTYN...IF U READ THIS ENTIRE THING..I APPRECIATE AND LOVE U ALL FOR IT. THANK U.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Traci - posted on 02/13/2009

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I would suggest getting legal advice from a family law attorney...I believe there are ways going around having the father sign his rights over. You may have to wait a certain amount of time but I am thinking it is possible. Hope all works out.

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Kimberly - posted on 02/17/2009

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The father always has rights until he or a judge terminates them(assuming paternity or presumed paternity has been legally established). Signing the paperwork himself is the easiest and fastest way to move through the court process, but not the olny way. However, the bigger issue is that if he chooses not to sign over his rights, then the judge will have to look at the individual relationship - if there has been one established between he and the child. For instance, if he has never met, established a relationship with, or paid child support for this child, then it's much easier for a judge to justify termination of paternal rights than it would be if the child had some kind of relationship with the father and is in some way being supported by him. Obviously, not all of the information is out on the table, but those are major components with your problem. TALK TO A FAMILY LAW ATTORNEY from your state. Each state has different laws and timeframes to work within. Good Luck.

Erin - posted on 02/14/2009

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Definately check with a lawyer (you will need one anyways for the adoption) and check on abandonment laws. You might also want to check into something like this - my inlaws are in the process of adopting children they have had custody of for 5 years. They had a little trouble finding the bio-mother to serve papers, and the lawyer told them that they could post an ad in the paper, and if there was no response they could move forward with the adoption. However, for them they ended up locating  the mother, but it is something you might look into. Like I said, check on abandoment laws in the area where you are. If you haven't heard from him since thanksgiving, and he has left no new number or address with you, you probably have a good shot.

Christina - posted on 02/13/2009

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You may be able to file something along the lines of abandonment against the biological father. You will however, have to prove that he has made no attempt to contact you or the child in over 45-90 days. In some states after this you can petition to have his rights terminated. A lawyer who specializes in family matters should be able to help you!

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