need help i have two boys who just seem to only do what they want how can i get this under control

Tanya - posted on 03/14/2010

well i'm not a disapline person i dont yell and would never spank my children ever thats just me but my 8 year old was doing the same thing for a while i believe when they do that there just looking to see what they can get away with and what i did was made him do writing assinments o man he hated it but it was the only thing that would work i tried timeout taking away his stuff nothing worked so you just have to find the one thing they hate the most and do it and after doing it a few times they will no you are the boss and wont stand for it i got that tip from a good friend of mine lol but it works good luck and i hope it helps...

Leanne - posted on 03/13/2010

hmm ill try the rag vinagar and sugar thing never heard of doing that

Kathy - posted on 03/13/2010

I had 3 boys and when they wanted to talk back to me I just gave them a washrag with vinegar and sugar and they soon learned that was not acceptable to me and the back talking stopped right away. Boys can push you especially if you are not consistant with them. They need a firm upper hand and start taking away special activites like sleep overs PS2/games or extra activities and they will learn when mom aint happy aint nobody happy. You give me what I want in a son and I will give you a loving caring mom. tough love and stand firm is the best advice I can give you. Remember if you let it go now it will only snowball on you in the years to come

Leanne - posted on 03/11/2010

lol o ook i wasnt sure on what you meant sometimes it works and sometimes it doesnt i know that my youngest son hes a lil harder to get anything across to he kinda gives me the worst time then the other two

Andrea - posted on 03/11/2010

when you look them in the eyes and get your point across. Maybe do more of that. Show em' who's BOSS!!! LOL

Leanne - posted on 03/11/2010

yea that could be a reason why they are acting this way even though this isnt the first deployment we have gone through and plus my husband is in training right now so i honestly dont know. but im not sure on what your asking worked

Andrea - posted on 03/11/2010

Leanne does that work? You have some curious little boys on your hands LOL maybe consistency is the key here. Find out what works and be on top of it. I know its hard being consistent. I knew someone that did hot sauce...that was when I was a kid. It worked for my friend...oooh he stopped his mouth LOL You said you are very petite, it might be too hard to try and hold them down to spank. Maybe a nose in the corner. I know thats old school, but it still works on some kids. When my kids were that age, it was hard to find what worked. Spanking only makes them more mad, so I don't really spank. I'd take every toy away from them and they would play with the lint on the ground. Grounding them works some, but they are older now. Or I would bag up everything in the room and say you can't have your stuff back until you start acting right. You just have to try different things. Find out what works and stick to it. They are probably just acting up because they feel that daddy is about to leave.

Leanne - posted on 03/11/2010

i did the soap routine with my older two but only bc the started to say ''bad words'' and that wasnt going to fly with me and they have been lucky enough not to even have the soap in thier mouth mainly bc it was a new thing and they already new what the soap would have tasted like lol one of them decieded to try and eat it b4 the bad words came along and hated it so yea as soon as i started saying that they have had clean mouths i guess you can say sometimes when it gets really bad i have already been gettin on to them i will take look them in the eyes and make sure my point gets across at least for that time being

Andrea - posted on 03/11/2010

You know I read somewhere that with boys you have to touch them and look them in the eye for them to listen. Like put your hands on their shoulders, or grab their arms. They are so full of energy, they don't want to stop. I need to do that with mine, but always forget!

Andrea - posted on 03/11/2010

I've heard of people smoking kids, but I don't do it because I'm afraid of turning them off as they get older. Not wanting to excersize when they get older because their parents smoked them after so long LOL My husband is deployed and I felt like I was loosing my grip on my kids as well. Well mainly my 2 older kids 11 and 8. They didn't want to sleep in their beds...got sloppy, didn't pick up after themselves...didn't put Wii games away...that is a pet peeve of mine since its SO expensive!! I started everyone on a new routine. Kids like routine whether they know it or not LOL I make them go to bed at 8, they read for a half an hour and go to bed. I put my little one down at like 7 to 8 because she doesn't take naps...wonderful age 2, well she'll be 3 tomorrow. I'm done with her by like 5 or 6! I feel like pulling my hair out! I know when my daughter used to talk back to me...I'll probably catch heat from people on this, but I stuck a bar of soap in her mouth and she stopped...it's how i was raised...my dad made me brush my teeth with bar soap and well, lets just say I never did it again...but I didn't any way, my sister told on me...thats ok I got her back the next day and she got hers LOL now its not like that every night...I try but sometimes I get so tired, I let them sleep on the couch sometimes! Good luck!

Leanne - posted on 03/11/2010

lol wow thats kinda interesting bc i thought we were the only ones who did that we do smoke sessions too but it only seems to work with my husband if i try and make do it they will for like two seconds and then complain they are hurtin and they didnt even do anything so i try to make them do more thats kinda why i said we have tried everything or well i have i just dont understand why they are fairly good with my husband and for other ppl but when it comes to me it feels like i bring the worse of them out and its a lil depressing but dont get me wrong all of these ideas are great and all i just am at that point that i honestly dont know what to do anymore and just let them act like this and noly hope it gets better

Jennifer - posted on 03/11/2010

i, like some of the other moms believe in spanking, however my fiance doesnt so here is what we have come up with...we have a 12yr old, 5 yr old and a 7 month old...our oldest are both boys, but since i have tried the spanking thing and it generally doesnt seem to work we came up with "smoke" sessions...when they decide they dont wanna do what they are told or throw temper tantrums, mainly the 5 yo, we make them do PT sessions that we modified to what they can do, usually they are sore for days afterwards so they remember it much longer than a spanking and we dont usually have to do this often because they have learned that if they dont wanna be smoked they wont do anything to get smoked for but at times when our 5yo is just flat out defiant and the smoke session doesnt work, we take everything out of his room except his bed and he has to earn his stuff back day by day. hope this helps some and if u and ur hubby wanna try what we have found works for us and need advice on how to modify or what to do just send me a msg and ill be happy to help.

Leanne - posted on 03/05/2010

thanks these are great ideas but thier toys are already in a sepreat room from thier beds should i just leave a couple toys for all three of them and try to hide the rest? and i live in tn btw lol so if any one lives in clarksville come on over lol

Tah - posted on 03/05/2010

michelle took the words out my mmouth..i was gonna say where u at...lol..they sre in a habit now and dad still needs to back you, if you had to discipline while he is at work have him come home and go to them....he needs to back you 100 even if they pull out halos when they see him or your daughter is gonna be doing the same things and you will be trying to enlist yourself just to get away.

The earn back system is what i use..i took all my 3 year olds toys and he got the, back one at a time when he did what he was supposed to..don't just take it for 5 minutes they have to earn it...

Michelle - posted on 03/05/2010

Phew girl. You have your work cut out for you. If you lived near me I would say give me your boys for a week. I will straighten them out.



I dont know if this example will help but my boys are allowed to play with ONE toy at a time while in their room. If they dont want to follow the rule, they get ALL of their toys taken away. No blocks, no cars, no puzzles, no books....NOTHING. The only thing I leave in their room is their beds. No stuffed animals either. They have to earn their toys back. I say just take everything out of their room completely except their beds, take away their privileges completely and make them earn those back as well.



lm running out of options for you. I wish there was more I could say or do for you.

Leanne - posted on 03/05/2010

i have tried spanking time outs taking away privileges and pretty much all of the about and it just doesnt seem to work they dont act that way when thier dad is around or other people my boys are 5, and 3 almost 4, and my daughter is 2 almost 3 i feel as though i am running out of options and worried that if it doesnt get under control its only going to get worse as they get older and then another thing is if they act up and i take something away or not let them do something they throw a fit and scream and yell and thats when the talking back gets worse and its kinda hard for my to pick them up and take them to thier room becuase im like 4'11'' and barley 100 lbs and they start scurming and kicking and stuff

Tah - posted on 03/04/2010

i spank....you have 2 chances to do what i tell you..it alsi depends on what they did, i don't have to spank all the time because i nip crap in the bud on the spot. they talking back, take things away...all they need is a bed and 3 squares, they talk back you, let them know in no uncertain terms that they treat you with respect point, blank period..don't be afraid to put your foot down, and where is your husband, if my children open their mouths to talk back he acts before i do sometimes..get him involved if he isn't

Michelle - posted on 03/04/2010

My boys are 3 and 4...and they have tried talking back before....but we nipped it. I will get really close to their face and TELL them "You WILL NOT speak to me that way!!" And if they dont want to respect the fact that YOU are the mom and what you say goes....you can always take away their privileges. I believe in spanking....and I have my own specific guidelines I follow when it comes to spanking. I take them to a secluded room where its just me and them. I tell them why they are getting a spanking and make sure they understand that their punishment is THEIR fault...not mine. Then when I spank them...I only spank them 3 times on the bottom. When they calm down I explain to them again why they got spanked and that it hurts my feelings when I have to pop them. Give them a hug and kiss and be done with it....no grudges. Spanking is not for everyone...Im just telling you what I personally do. I will say that although I spank my boys....I dont have to do it that often because they understand that I mean business. There will come a point where I wont ever have to spank them again. You have to pick your battles. Talking back, to me, is a problem. Like I said....if they want to go out to play....make them clean their room first. If they want to do something special...dont let them if they talk back. Just say "Well I know you wanted to go to....but since you talked back to me in a disrespectful way, Im sorry...you wont be going now. When you learn to speak to me in a respectful manner, you can have your privleges back". Then again...that all depends on how old your boys are. Good luck hun. Hope everything works out for you.

Ashley - posted on 03/04/2010

as for the talking back, i would just ignore it and not make a big deal about it. they are just looking for attention. how old are they? i would start time outs for bad behavior and be consistent. also have activities planned during the day and have a schedule. this will help especially when your husband deploys. they will know what to expect and when. hope this helps! good luck!