Debbie - posted on 03/18/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )
Hello. My name is Debbie and my husband (airforce) deployed March 1st for 6 mths. We have a daughter who is 5 yrs old and is missing her daddy. Before he left I searched msg boards for tips etc - we did the videotaping daddy reading books, one of those voice recorded story books you get at Hallmark (my little princess) and they went together to build a bear to make a special pet with daddys voice in it telling her he misses her, loves her etc.
She doesn;t want to talk about daddy, through the stuffed toy in the corner of her room and won't touch it and has no interest in watching the video, reading the book and even when we are able to skype she really doesn;t stay around more than enough to say hello to him.
I talked to her teacher about it and she is keeping an eye on her, but she won;t talk about her feelings except at bedtime when i ask her if she wants to talk about anything , she just says : I miss my daddy :( She has had 2 meltdowns since he left, whihc I know is just her trying to deeal with everything. He has never been away from her for more than a couple of days before and was on shift work so he was home all diff hours. I guess I am asking is this normal for her to shut down at the mention of daddy? She doesn;t want me talking about him, it just makes her sad she says. Its heartbreaking. I am not doing a bean jar or a chain becasue she refuses to talk about him so I thought seeing 6 mths of stuff in a jar would only make it worse and I can't force her to share her feelings for the chain....Any ideas on how I can help her deal with this? Maybe its just a transition until we get used of it being just us. We have no family nearby
Thanks for listening