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other families/wives

Cori - posted on 01/30/2010 ( 1 mom has responded )

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I want to be there for the other wives in my husbands squadron but they are all having marriage problems (and they all have at least 1 kid) a week ago i had to drag one of my friends out of her house with her daughter because she was going crazy on her husband and i kept tellling her that her daughter didnt need to see that. (she wasnt getting physical just lots of yelling fighting and swearing) and just last night a different wife showed up at my house at 2 AM (!!!!) ringing the doorbell and asking to borrow our car so she can go find her husband because he was apparently "lying to her" about where he was.. so all in all, this was kind of venting and asking if anyone else is the wife that the crazies gravitate to for assistance. i love both of these women that i talked about just now but there are more than just them. my husband and i are good friends for the people that we close with (and we have been with these people for the last 3 years even before we all had kids) and i just dont know what to do now that their marriages are falling apart but mine has never been stronger! we give advice when they ask for it and i try to intervene when they start saying mean things to their SO's that arent necessary in front of their kids, but how much can a girl take?

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Tah - posted on 01/30/2010

7,412

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you must be my neighbor...half come to you and the half to me, ..lol...they are some of the reason i start half of the post i start on here, and then they say little sarcastic things about how perfect my marriage is, but, i know they are just hurting, i mean i would if my husband never came home, cheated on me, had babies outside our marriage, gave me the itchy burnie crawlies, spent all the money while deployed on his boo and himself while your neighbors gave you money and food for your kids, beat you 2 days out of surgery while you have ms,or when he sleeps with your friends best friend in her house which is by the way right next door to you..like, 5 steps nect door, i would also be something else....remarried...or at least away from him....I know some people say that i have a problem with sahm or things like that, i don't at all, i just see a majority of women here, that don't have much to fall back on when the list of things mentioned above,begans to happen to them, and alot of the issues are money, housekeeping, cheating etc. Most if not all have said to me, well what am i going to do, go crawling back to my mom with the kids,so i am always for plan B..with that being said, if you are going to continue your friendship with these ladies, number 1..pray for them and tell them you are doing it and encourage it from them, 2...do not let their negativity spill into your marriage, because sweetie misery loves company..one told me your husband is too controlling, i said no sweetie, my husband knows he's married yours apparently didn't get the memo, and if he doesn't want me out til the cows come home then i'm going to respect that cause guess what he can't do it either and we made that clear while we still had seperate houses and no wedding certificate.If the sun beats either of us home we will be tripping over suitcases, literally.. trust me the rules are still in full effect, 3...help empower them to work on themselves because that is the only person you can change, if your husband is lying to you..ok..some women like drama..following their husbands in all black like a detective movie, but look what it does to you, it wears you out, takes away from time with the kids and also makes your daughters think that's what a husband is supposed to do, and a son think the same. you can be a shoulder but you can't get involved because it will suck you in and suck the life out of you..i had to step back from alot of things because it was draining me and i need my energy for my husband if you know what i mean....so just be careful that your not getting to sucked in and you can tell them, hey, i am here if you want to talk but you can't come ringing my bell in the middle of the night to use my car for your nancy drew moment babygirl, my kids are sleep and my husband and i are not if you catch my drift.....be helpful, be encouraging, be honest, but keep a safe distance....

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