Poll: Who is more likely to cheat?

Laura - posted on 01/01/2010 ( 36 moms have responded )

4

0

0

Who is more likely to cheat? The one deployed? Or the one at home?



I am the one at home and this is my 3rd deployment w/ the hubby (although there have been lots of other small deployments). I have children, but none with him. I hear all the time about military cheating and it scares me.

So one day I was talking to a "friend" about my hubbys deployment and he asked me if I was going to be a "West Pac Widow"; I had no clue what that meant so I asked my hubby. MAD is an understatement of his reaction and I know longer talk to that friend (he was male, seemed like an invitation).

I hear from the hubby about how he would never cheat on me because I am the only one he wants and that he would be demoted if he did cheat. But I question things everytime he is on land and he doesn't contact me (hes in the navy, a chief).

But he questions me just as much. One of the times he came home, he told me to say good bye to my boyfriend, which I did not have, nor ever did... nor even had any male close to me at all.

Am I just being jealous? Insecure? Or should I be worried? I love these support website things, but sometimes they put thoughts into my head that I don't want there....



L

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Tah - posted on 01/09/2010

7,412

22

358

Did anyone hear about the commander in i think it was afghanistan or iraq who tried to put an end to the females getting pregnant while deployed by implementing punishments for the females and the males and a couple of the women wouldn't give up the man because in some cases he was married...so yes they are thinking about staying alive but they are also thinking about other things...One female got pregnant by her sgt who gave her money to get an abortion when she arrived back stateside so his wife wouldn't find out..well surprise she never got it...i think alot of husbands tell their wives..o we don't have time to cheat or we are so busy but the truth is some make time and tell the spuses what they want to hear and we all want to hear that our husbands are out there too busy defending the country and they have no time to cheat to or think about it but they do and they do..some of course..not all...i just think we all need to be aware of the situation...when my husband was deployed a few years after being in the capt. caught one of his married friends cheating on the ship and made him call his wife and tell her....can you imagine your husband calling you with that news with the capt dialing the number for him....if you read some of the other post on here you will see that alot of the servicemenbers get deployed, meet somebody and then decide they want a family anymore they want this other person they just met and call home devastating their wives by saying..o its not working i want a divorce...i don't want a family..or blah blah blah....when 9 times outta 10 they have been seeing sally slutbucket and their over there together and he's falling in love because they don't have money problems together, they don't have children to care for together and she hasn't had to deal with his annoying mother yet so its easy to fall in love under those circumstances..and then other wives tell the ones going through this "o it's the deployment, he is just not adjusting well"..well maybe with 1 or 2 guys but most of the time it's because he's cheating and the bad part is the amount of guys who do it every deployment and don't get caught...if only we knew....i'm not trying to be the bearer of bad news but their are diseases out there and i am a straight shooter cause i don't know how else to aim and when i read some of these post and responses i get frustrated cause i justr want to shake some of these wives and hand out spines at the commisary...if you don't believe me read through...see how many husbands are having emotional affairs online, or meet some chick playing some video game..my husband doesn't even play video games i thing i saw him play 5 times in five years and i would be like that trident commercial for the clean mouth...bring him his car and his video game in a box after i ran it threw a woodchipper and give it to him and his "cootie queen"..and he knows this...and i know that i would get at least 22 chops to the throat if he found out i was cheating and i suggest some of wives start laying down some rules also cause this is a mess...

Billie - posted on 06/14/2011

246

5

20

It doesn't have anything to do with which end of the stick your position lies, it has to do with how much love there is. If you honestly truly love someone, your loins can wait. I've never had a problem waiting for my husband. I met him shortly after he got back from his first deployment, I was a teeny bopper and he was a young soldier, lol. We started dating and he deployed again that following Fall. Emotionally it was very hard for me, but I never once thought about finding comfort from another. Now here we are, been together over 6yrs, we'll be celebrating our 4th wedding anniversary on July 2nd, we have 2 beautiful daughters, he's serving his 4th deployment to Iraq, and all I worry about is #1-my girls get their daddy back #2 I get my best friend back.



The only way someone could cheat is if they truly do not love the one they're with. Period. And just because the deployed is away from their significant other does not mean they're going to cheat. I talk to my husband via webcam chat almost every single day and if we catch a time where both our girls are napping we do things that make the birds outside my window blush, LOL. It's all about keeping the relationship alive. I'm only 23yrs old and we figured out the recipe to the perfect military marriage a long time ago. Not finding it is just grounds for disaster.

Robin - posted on 02/01/2010

13

30

1

I have dealt with deployments as a Soldier and as an Army Wife. I think I have experienced and/or witnessed all the good, bad, and ugly situations that could possibly occur during a deployment – at least when it comes to marriage and fidelity. In some cases I am grateful that I know what it’s like over there, because it definitely helped me through the first deployment as an Army Wife. However, there are a lot of things I wish I didn’t know about deployments. Like the old saying, what you don’t know can’t hurt you…

This is just my opinion, but the guys are the ones who get “weak” first. It’s only natural – want proof?

Check out this article http://www.webmd.com/sex/features/sex-dr...

After six months, everyone is a supermodel. But how attractive can someone really look in ACU’s? That doesn’t matter over there though-a lot of people are just looking for some kind, any kind, of attention from the opposite sex.

When I was a Soldier, I heard about both the deployed spouses cheating and the spouses back home cheating. Contrary to my opinion, it was more common for military wives at home to be cheating. During my first deployment as an Army Wife, I knew a few women who cheated while their husbands were gone. Unfortunately, I got to experience the alternate version of infidelity. Long story short, my husband was an idiot. That was almost two years ago and he’s about to get deployed again. Naturally, I am a little worried about history repeating itself, but what can a girl do? It is what it is.

Personally, I think that a man or woman, who cheats during a deployment, would have probably cheated eventually anyway. Cynical thinking… The deployment just provides all the necessary ingredients.

My advice is to communicate on a regular basis if possible. Don’t talk every single night; this has been known to cause meaningless arguments, especially when you run out of things to talk about. Never get off the phone angry and always tell each other “I love you.” If your husband is deployed and he’s being grumpy, don’t ask “what’s wrong” a million times. Basically, don’t fight about the stupid stuff. This isn’t going to guarantee that neither of you will cheat, but I think it will decrease the chances.

Hannah - posted on 01/02/2010

19

42

7

I think that the comment about tell the boyfriend to go was just a joke. My husband sometime has the same dry humor. Its nothing to fret over to much unless you got something solid to go with it. I was active and worked the front gates alot and I will say like Christina said that it is 50/50. And as for the happy part, www.tootimid.com can help for the homebound, lol ;) It keeps me honest.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

36 Comments

View replies by

Tah - posted on 06/14/2011

7,412

22

358

I will be locking this as it is over a year old. Thanks for the input and feel free to start a new thread regarding this topic. Thank you ladies..

Tah
Admin.

Beth - posted on 06/13/2011

274

18

67

"say good by to your boyfriend" was likely his attempt at humor. Those of us at home are too busy cheat, especially if we have kids, we have to be mom and dad to them. I know I was too damn tired to cheat if I even wanted to.

Suzette - posted on 02/06/2010

1,086

29

0

I agree with Joy. The percentages aren't what matters. What matters is whether you can trust your husband when he is deployed. I know that I can trust mine. While we were engaged and I was in AZ and he was in KY, he was hit on numerous times by the barrack's bunnies (or whatever you wanna call them). He would laugh at them and tell them that they needed to back off. If they persisted, he would tell them they weren't good enough and he was going to talk to his fiance. I was actually on the phone with him at one point when one of them came up to him and I heard him telling her that he'd already told her to get a life and some respect for herself. I heard her tell him to screw off (in not so nice terms) and storm off. If he were to be deployed, I have nothing to worry about and neither does he. It's all about trust and whether or not you have people whispering in your ear about what goes on whenever, it shouldn't matter. The only thing that waivers that trust is you or your spouse.

Cori - posted on 02/06/2010

623

20

86

i am glad that my husband and i arent the only ones who joke about other "boyfriends" he works a 24 hour shift and i always tease him that i have a B shift boyfriend for while he is at work.... you know, it stopped being as funny when one of the wives actually was dating someone on the other shift while her husband was at work... :(

Tah - posted on 02/06/2010

7,412

22

358

10-15%...That is a not a big %...geez....worse than i thought. I mean i hear the stories, from my husband(best friend even before we were married) about all the guys who are cheating when deployed, Like the one who was caught in the fan room by chief with a 1st class who is also married. (swept under the rug), or the guy who was caught cheating with his superior(the wife is my friend, nothing done about it) My husbands best friend was the WORSE!!!! before he got out he used my husband and myself as excuses soo many times cause we would all hang out together, then he wold duck out early to go meet someone, or show up at the house with some "friend" once it was a major in the army(we're navy) who he met because she worked in their office. Then he would always say, I'm jealous i wish me and my wife could have what you 2 have...ummm you prob could, if you would keep it in your pants and actually read the memo that you've been married for a while now. and that was with them on shore duty. When they were on the ship together, before i even met my husband, but while his friend was already married, he would meet women online from all over and when they hit the pier, meet them and go to a hotel, yes i also know women who cheat, and not to give them any excuses, but one after finding out her husband had gotten another woman pregnant, AGAIN, baby #2 inside the marriage, and all the abuse that went with it, she had him move into the 4th bedroom and started another life until he actually moved out. The other's husband has been deployed 5 times and has an affair every time, she finds out and he says sorry, kinda, he may have a baby out there also, one girl he was having a affair with, but so were some other soldiers, was sent home pregnant on one of their deployments, he never heard back from her and keeps lying to my friend that he doesn't know her name, but yet it was a on-going affair almost the whole time they were there, i said don't the uniforms have names on them, i mean was she naked in the sand with only boots, thats the worse lie ever. So now she is scared that anyday now some chick with a tolddler is gonna knock on her door telling her and their 3 children surprise!!!!!!, so when this 5th affair(that she knows of happened) she went somewhere else for comfort, was she wrong, yep, of course. There is another couple, she's reserves, he's active duty. he is the sweetest man you ever wanna meet, you could not have paid me to believe he was having an affair, problem is, he had had so many affairs it shocked even his wife, i mean i'm sure she does't know it started a long time ago with a friend of hers and i'm not telling....the thing was she would make sure we all knew how short a string she had him on, and how he knows better then to cheat, so when she found out, it was nothing nice. I stand by my original answer, it's the servicemember....

Alicia - posted on 02/06/2010

1

9

0

My fiance and i are both military. I'm 33wks prego and he's currently in Iraq. I've caught him cheating soooo many times already. But from my experience overseas, everyone does not cheat. Atleast 10 to 15% stays faithful.

Louise - posted on 02/03/2010

21

37

1

I believe it all comes down to respect for yourselves and your spouse. Also as a christian family your value system on the whole marriage commitment. i believe when you have not only made a vow to your spouse but also your God and children and yourself for moral reasons your less likely to fall into that temptation especially if you have set boundaries for yourself in accordance with what you believe God wants for your life. As a christian I have personally seen what effects my disobedience to God will in my life has had and it's all negative so when I'm faithful to God and my husband and family and he visa versa we see the rewards and blessings it has on our lives. Alot of married couples have lost sight of what their marriages really mean and they fall into temptations alot, you must value the sanctity of marriage and value your spouse and yourself respect enough to not commit adultery plain and simple. I will pray for all of you as well as myself included that our marriages will stay strong and even if one steps out of weakness that we will have the courage and strength to put our families back together and move forward in change with love and patience.

[deleted account]

I don't know. From what I've seen as a soldier, every unit has its lying cheating scumbags, but it's not the majority, far from it. As a wife, I really haven't seen much cheating on this side either. I know it exists (my husband's ex-wife is proof!) but I think the whole cheating in the military thing is blown out of proportion. I think the media likes to spin it to look like it's nearly guaranteed that either the soldier or the wife will cheat at some point, and in reality, I do not think it's any more common than it is in the civilian world.

As for who does more, soldier or wife? Depends what unit, I guess... I think it's about an even split over all. I haven't seen terribly much of it on either side, no more than I've seen from the various civilian folks I've known over the years.

Shannon - posted on 02/01/2010

172

3

13

In my opinion it is more likely for the spouse to cheat back home. I cannot tell you how many military wives were caught cheating, red handed, by me or others, during our units deployment. Women get bored, they go to clubs with their friends, meet guys who haven't deployed, and like the attention. Overseas it's a bit harder to do, plus there is not a lot of time or privacy. It disgusts me, personally.

Heather - posted on 02/01/2010

226

47

29

In my house i think its me, soo the one at home. But it really depends on the people.

Natalie - posted on 02/01/2010

448

73

85

I think it's about equally hard, especially if it's like 12-28 months or so. BUT they do have it a bit harder over there. They are more under "surveillance". But a lot of people find ways around that. Where there's a will there's a way, right?

I think that the ones that do cheat while they are deployed and the ones that cheat while their SO is deployed are also the ones that will end up cheating anyway sometime in that relationship. They might just take the deployment as the prefect excuse

Krystal - posted on 02/01/2010

76

46

5

There is this huge stigma in the military that everyone cheats. It's not true and I don't believe that either party is "more likely" to cheat. I agree with Joy, I was an adult and made the choice to marry my husband and he did to marry me. If I thought that cheating would be an issue, hello I wouldn't have gotten married. If you are really that concerned about your husband cheating than maybe you shouldn't be married. I trust my husband and he trusts me. We both know that no matter what we would not be unfaithful to each other. If your marriage can't last for a while without sex then you don't have a very good foundation for your relationship. Cheating should not be an issue, or a concern, to people in healthy marriages.

JL - posted on 01/11/2010

3,635

48

105

Honestly IMO I think posting this as a poll is just another form of supporting the rumors, fear and stereotypes surrounding the idea that a majority of military spouses cheat during deployements. You know what if you married to someone who is not mature or trustful then yea they will cheat..if you are not mature and trustful then you will cheat.

I don't know about anyone else but I was an adult when I made the committment to marry my husband and stand by him through the good and the bad. I would not have married him if he was an ass or the type who was not man enough to commit. I really feel like yelling at all the spouses and soldiers that do cheat...IF YOU ARE NOT HAPPY IN YOUR MARRIAGE and FEEL LIKE YOU WANT TO CHEAT THEN GROW UP AND GET A DIVORCE. No one made you get married and no one makes you stay in a marriage.

More people need to learn how to live indepedently before they committ themselves to anyone who is in the military because you will be living apart and on your own a large part of the marriage. All the talk of cheating that goes in military communites IMO just fuels the irrational fires that lead to people questioning their spouses. I trust my husband and he trusts me we would both tell anyone who hit on us to back the f*@$& off.

There is a great deal of joking about having girlfreinds and boyfreinds when spouses are deployed but I have known of very few spouses that really have had someone on the side. On the whole most of the men and women who I associate with in the military they are repectful of themselves and others and they do not cheat.

Melissa - posted on 01/11/2010

92

15

2

I have to agree with other post. You wouldn't believe how much cheating goes on when someone is deployed. It doesn't matter if your a male or female whom is married, my last company had people sleeping together left and right. And some married people didn't even have wedding bands on so you couldn't tell who was married. But if they catch you and your married you wouldn't be demoted they will kick you out of the military. At least thats how it works in the army, i don't know about the navy.

Camilla - posted on 01/11/2010

4

20

0

I think as long as there is honesty and trust in your relationship, there's nothing to worry about. I was deployed before, and yes there are women out there that prey on married guys. But there are also guys who go looking for it. My husband is currently away for school, and out of our 3 year marriage, we've probably only spent a total of MAYBE a year together with the Army separating us, but we trust each other and know the other will be faithful. Don't accuse your husband of anything you don't KNOW, and you'll be fine. Don't worry about all of the stories out there because there are a lot.

Anna - posted on 01/11/2010

11

6

1

Don't worry, (easier said than done), just talk to your husband when you have these doubts or questions, keeping them inside only makes the feelings worse. Just because it happened to someone on here doesn't mean that you have to worry about your husband or your relationship, there are 42k + members in this group so 10% of them are bound to have bad experiences; just know that you are more likely to be in the 90% of good experiences.

Don't worry about the boyfriend thing he mentioned, other Navy people can chime in here, but my husband and I say that to each other all the time; and so do a lot of the other people that work for me. When mine was deployed he'd call and say, "I hope I didn't wake your boyfriend." When I was deployed I'd call and say, "Tell your girlfriend I said hi." It didn't mean anything, it was just a small amount of humor. Of course, the time he said, "Hold on, let me get out from under her," I was ready to jump ship and swim back to Cali. He enjoyed the response because he was as worried about our relationship being strong as I was; once I realized he was joking I calmed down but it caused us to have a conversation about cheating and how it would hurt not just us but our family and our long term goals.

Yes, things do happen, and I too would go crazy when my husband didn't call me when I thought he should have; but sometimes the job doesn't fit into our wants and needs so there were times that my husband (and even myself) should have been able to call and didn't, one or the other of us would be hurt because we didn't get to talk but we'd always explain it to the other as soon as we were able.

Navy people always "joke" about WESTPAC Widows, and I say joke about them because it's sad and each of know someone who's wife (or husband) moved someone in after they left, we joke to help that person deal with it. But for your friend to actually ask you that and not in a joking way; I think you did the right thing by ending the relationship; like I said it would be one thing if it was purely a joke but it didn't sound like you took it as one so it wasn't.

Julia - posted on 01/11/2010

1,075

16

79

@ Tah....yes some of these women would be amazed at the amount of cheating that goes on during deployments that chains of command turn their backs too. I know of tons of deployment girlfriends. One of my NCO's literally got caught NAKED in her room with a guy that was not her husband, absolutely NOTHING happened to her and her husband never found out. The CoC can do nothing about adultery unless they are caught IN THE ACT nothing can be done if they are in the bed together naked they actually have to see penetration or there is video of them doing something or it is a female and she ends up pregnant. That is a huge misconception in the military. Adultery is the hardest thing to prove so most times they don't even try to prosecute adultery. So 9 times out of 10 the wives (or husbands) back home never know.

[deleted account]

i say its more common the one at home cheats rather then the deployed, not saying the deployed dont, just saying from my experience way more common to have cheating military wives, esp. for the younger people

Gen - posted on 01/04/2010

17

25

2

I would think both due to being lonely & temptations being right at hand. My husband says it can go both ways even though he feels that the spouse at home has more of an opportunity only bc when he was over seas, he and his fellow soldiers only had one thing on their mind - staying alive.

Tah - posted on 01/04/2010

7,412

22

358

i'm with britney...i say the deployed spouse...yes you have spouses that cheat..but what i see, hear and get from my husband and knowing some of his friends....its the servicemember...

Britney - posted on 01/04/2010

4

7

0

wow interesting... Ok well I'm going to answer. I noticed that everyone has said 50/50 but I think the one deployed is more likely to cheat. Because everything is the same for the one at home except for the fact that their spouse isn't there. the one deployed is w/o their spouse and anything else. they are away from home, family, friends, and living in a hostile enviroment. that can be very hard.

Julia - posted on 01/04/2010

1,075

16

79

Quoting Leigh:

I think the woman (wife),,,we are more likely to be lonely and want attention and some affection. Usually the man deployed is soooo busy and rarely has time to sleep is less likely in my opinion. Not to mention there arent that many woman around him and his higher ups keep good tabs re: that kinda stuff especially while on deployment!



I got pregnant on deployment.  Granted my (now) husband and I were both single...but after I left he got hit on by female after female after female.  He once in the chow hall had 2 girls invite him back to their room so that he could show them the rest of his tattoos.  He called them whores to their faces and told them he was going to talk to his wife on the internet like he does every night!  It happens more than you would think. 



Howeverr it is about 50/50 the husband goes to work gets fed up with his wife who sits at home and does nothing but complain and doesn't want to do anything else so he goes out and finds someone...or the wife who is home when he is gone and just wants some attention...never mind that it is the WRONG kind of attention but they just need it.  I have also seen it in dual military couples as well...so don't get me wrong I am not generalizing ANYONE!  I am a SAHM myself now but that has been mostly what I have seen... of course then there are just the assholes (on both sides) who will just ALWAYS cheat...its not that they are bored at home or have any reason as to why except they just wanted to

Bridgett - posted on 01/04/2010

10

25

1

I think its about even I know of a lot of navy men that cheat but it also seems like every time the ships pull out all the woman go out to the bars to pick up a new boyfriend. It really comes down to the person you are and if you have good morals. and when i say you i mean each person that is in question.

Tah - posted on 01/03/2010

7,412

22

358

no..i mean i don't think there is an actual study on the subject...you can only go by what you know..like all the wives who are my neighbors whose husbands are either now or have had affairs, that they know about...which is alot trust me....but out of all of those women i only know of 2 who have..after their husbands repeated affairs..have had affairs themselves and no doubt just to get back at their cheating spouses...and i know adultery is adultery and two rights don't make it wrong but i think they weren't in positions to leave and were just really tired of the cheating and in one case the outside children from the affairs..2 that she knows of....and these are all ranks and branches,army who have cheated wherever they are deployed and whatever the job is and air force also... but i'm sure air crew is probably different from regular navy, army and air force considering where they deploy and their workload...so i'm just speaking from mine, and friends of mines and friends of theirs....and i know everyones experience is different and i know i am blessed that i havent experienced it and that i have a husband who is open with me but when i get that call from a friend or hear about that soldier, airmen or sailor who thinks its okay to be gone no matter if its by land or by sea, and cheat on their spouses just because they can i get upset and the rate of divorce is so high in the military and that has alot to do with it. i just say be open, be friends, pray about it and be realistic.

Leigh - posted on 01/03/2010

137

6

16

that may be true ! I am only familiar with "air crew" navy! My hubby isnt ever on a ship. He's flies the p-3"s and is on land most of the time . Maybe its different than being stuck on a ship in such a confined area! regardless... I dont think anyone will have the ans to that, but thats my experience!

Tah - posted on 01/03/2010

7,412

22

358

its funny you say that they don't have time. my husband and i talk about everything. he tells me about the married guys on the ship during deployment who meet the girls in the laundry room. and various other places while out to sea and one guy even got caught in the fan room with another married sailor and that got swept under the rug. and when they hit a port which is sometimes often, they get a hotel room with the girl and they are basically having dinner and drinks with her when they go to restaurants and clubs and tours..it's like their deployment wife, then they hop off the ship when they get back hugging and kissing on their wives as if they weren't cheating the whole deployment and a group of officers and chiefs just got fired off of one ship for fraternizing and adultery so they are busy doing their thing half the time and not really concerned what the married enlisted person is doing unless it directly affects them..where there is a will there is a way..

Tah - posted on 01/03/2010

7,412

22

358

Quoting Leigh:

I think the woman (wife),,,we are more likely to be lonely and want attention and some affection. Usually the man deployed is soooo busy and rarely has time to sleep is less likely in my opinion. Not to mention there arent that many woman around him and his higher ups keep good tabs re: that kinda stuff especially while on deployment!


 

Leigh - posted on 01/03/2010

137

6

16

I think the woman (wife),,,we are more likely to be lonely and want attention and some affection. Usually the man deployed is soooo busy and rarely has time to sleep is less likely in my opinion. Not to mention there arent that many woman around him and his higher ups keep good tabs re: that kinda stuff especially while on deployment!

Stephanie - posted on 01/02/2010

20

14

0

i think either member is capable of cheating, but personally i have seen the spouse cheat. it has never happened to me. nor will i cheat on my husband.
but just because it happens to people, doesnt mean it HAS to happen. my husband tells me all the time to "tell my boyfriend to get out" but he is joking. we joke like that all the time. we laugh and stuff. you just have to know your husband. If you dont think he will cheat, he probably wont. and visa versa. you hear stories all the time how so and so's husband cheating while deployed... but it doesnt happen to everyone. dont let what people tell you get to you. it will just stress you out and make you over think things and get paranoid.

Tah - posted on 01/01/2010

7,412

22

358

you know what you just have to know your husband..i mean sometimes the ones yoiu don't expect to cheat may sleep up but my husband and i are very open and we try very hard to keep outside things out,,,my husband and i joke around about mike and jody being here and i tease him about having a water boo..one of our names for the females on the ship that sleep with the guys married or not...but i trust him...until he gives me a reason not too...with that being said..the women that i know who cheat have done so because they are tired of being cheating on..is it right..no..adultery is adultery but one of the women, her husband has cheated all 5 deployments and she always finds out so this deployment after she found out she decided to have some fun of her own..the other spouse has dealt with mental physical and emotional abuse and 2 outside children within the marriage so when she decided enough was enough she met somebody and of course he almost had a stroke..they a

Allie - posted on 01/01/2010

28

22

3

ok. i've been married for over a year now. my husband is in the army. he calls me when he gets in the car to come home. he always says to kick my boyfriends out bc he's coming homw. now don't worry. he's joking. as far as the trust thing goes, been there and am doing it again right now. there has to be a middle ground with you two. as long as you both know you're joking things will be ok. now about the jealousy thing. i am very jealous. i've been cheated on left and right. so has my husband. but when he was deployed, he was married to his ex wife. she cheated on him and he cheated on her. taht worries me that he woulod cheat on me.

C. - posted on 01/01/2010

4,125

35

238

Well.. That's a tough one.. I think it's about 50/50, honestly. Deployed military are very likely to cheat, not all do, but they don't have their wives there with them to keep them *ahem* happy.. Same w/ the female soldiers and their men. Although, since the wives and husbands at home are also w/o their significant other to make them.. Happy, they are very likely to cheat as well.



Aww.. Don't let us get into your head with all our jabbering.. Though things DO happen, it's very possible that nothing IS happening. Keep your confidence. Um, I think him not contacting you while he's on land COULD be cause for alarm.. But I would just give him the benefit of a doubt unless you have something solid to hold against him, like if you find emails or texts to another girl.. And I am wondering WHY he would think you have a boyfriend?? My friend's husband JUST deployed in October and she is getting ready to have their baby in about 3 weeks. He recently said something to her that just made her so upset! He said that she doesn't have to worry about him cheating while he's deployed, but he knows he has to worry about her! He has cheated on her before, she has never cheated on him to my knowledge. I can't think of anything else to tell you.. I hope someone else can give you better insight and advice on what's going on! Good luck and I hope it's all in your head and there's really nothing going on!!!!!

Shannon - posted on 02/01/2010

172

3

13

In my opinion it is more likely for the spouse to cheat back home. I cannot tell you how many military wives were caught cheating, red handed, by me or others, during our units deployment. Women get bored, they go to clubs with their friends, meet guys who haven't deployed, and like the attention. Overseas it's a bit harder to do, plus there is not a lot of time or privacy. It disgusts me, personally.

[deleted account]

i say its more common the one at home cheats rather then the deployed, not saying the deployed dont, just saying from my experience way more common to have cheating military wives, esp. for the younger people

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms