Recruiting Duty Blues

Crystal - posted on 08/04/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Hello everyone. My name is Crystal and I am 25 years old. I have two small children, 3 and 1. My husband has been in the ARMY for 9 years and back in October he got pulled for recruiting duty. We moved from Fort Leonard Missouri, where we've pretty much been the whole time to Madison, Wisconsin. I have not made any friends yet and the depression is hitting hard. I feel horrible for being so upset all the time because I know my hubby didn't choose this, and at least he's stateside. I don't know what to do. I've tried setting up playdates which all fall through. I've tried taking my kids to the play areas at the mall, the library...

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Tamara - posted on 08/07/2009

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If depression is hitting, please, get help. I had it. I don't want it. I hated it for five years. It can be very crippling, and that can create a vicious cycle. Things fall through, your miss your family, your friends, your familiarities, and of course, your husband. Then it feels like no one understands what you are going through. Then you feel like not trying anymore, which doesn't make things better either. Don't let this new station get to you. Excercise, find a mom's club in town, join a group at church, get back into a hobby, and if you need to, seek counseling, or medical advice. Don't let this depression get to you. Try to stay possitive above all. Keep going. You can do this. You may have to make changes in the way you do things, in the choices you have made, but you ultimately have to be the one to pull yourself through. You can get help and advice, but you have to keep going, keep trying, keep moving forward, and don't forget prayer - prayer works. If there is one thing I have learned, being a military wife will make you a stronger, more independant person because of all you have to go through as a military wife. Stay strong. I would be glad to help if I can.

Erica - posted on 08/06/2009

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Crystal,

This is the same post I put under Kianna's post...hope it helps you too.

My family and I just survived a recruiting tour in Atlanta, GA. My husband and I have a total of 27 years of military service between the two of us and recruiting duty has been the worst experience I have every had with the military. I wouldn't wish recruiting duty on my worst enemy. The first year was the hardest for me. It was so hard to have him there but not really there...I couldn't really rely on him for any help because he was working all the time. To make matters worse we lived over an hour away from his recruiting station so even if he got off at 7:00 pm we didn't see him until almost 9:00. Most nights it was closer to 10:00 or 11:00. After that first year...I kind of just went into deployment mode...I just lived my life like he wasn't there and that may sound harsh, but it actually helped. I was able to enjoy the time I was able to spend with him more. We made it a point to always try to go somewhere when he was on leave so they couldn't call him back into the office and just tried to live life one moment at a time. Try to find something to fill your time. If you don't have children, you can try volunteer work or maybe take some college classes. My son and I took Tae Kwon Do together and I volunteered with his Boy Scout troup. I wish you the best of luck getting through this difficult time. Just remember...this too shall pass. Take Care!

Erica

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