Should I go back to college or let my over acchieving husband go back to school right now instead of me?

Alexandria - posted on 07/29/2011 ( 12 moms have responded )

59

7

8

My husband has been in the military 10 year now and this month he was promoted to E6. At every opportunity my husband takes online college courses and always does well, with a little help from me. We have always been study buddies, even before we got married when I was a full time student. We make a great team, always helping each other acheive. But honestly, academic achievement seems to come more easily to my husband than it does to me. My husband is good at juggling all his responsibilites and still getting those As.

We have a 2.5 yr old now. She is getting ready to start day care twice a week and I have been planning for a long time to get back into college when she starts day care. But I know that when it comes down to it, my childs needs will always come before my school work and with my husband being the bread winner while I stay home with our child, I have to put my goals and desires as second priority for the greater good of our hold family.

I thought that I was finally going to get my chance to work on my personal goal of getting my engineering degree so that I can eventually work in a field that interests me and contribute to our household income. But I dont want to start something I cant finish. I spoke with a brilliant guy about a week ago, much smarter than I am, who was a engineering major in his day and his advice was to be realistic about how much attention would be needed in order for me to obtain that kind of degree. He felt that it would be extremely difficult for me to get the kind of grades I'd like and really learn that material while maintaning my house hold, supporting my husbands ability to focus on his career and raising my child with the high standards I have for her young life. Then, out of the blue, my husband expressed his desire to get back into online courses as well. I just wonder if he and I both being back in school would really get us anywhere. I think one of us needs to go back, not both at the same time, unless we can get a live in nanny which we may be able to afford but we are penny pinchers by nature and it would urk me to pay someone else to raise my child.

Oye, sounds so complicated. Please, military spouses, what should I do? Should I let my husband focus on school and career right now since he's doing so well and getting us head in life while I continue to focus on keeping the household running and raising our wonderful child an then get back into school some other time or should I ask my husband to help me keep things running with the house and help me with our child while I go back to school part time, which will take me who knows how long?

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

12 Comments

View replies by

Tah - posted on 07/31/2011

7,412

22

360

o honey..i forgot..most of us got in before the change..so yeah it's up to e5..no biggie..have him go into work to

www.gibill.gov and have him apply to transfer his GI bill to your name, then when he does that, you go into the same site and accept it...probably the next day or so..then they will give him a confirmation email and you take that with your school schedule and your conformation email into the financial aid office and have them put a hold on your classes..it doesn't take more than a week..

Alexandria - posted on 07/31/2011

59

7

8

https://www.militaryonesource.com/MOS/FindInformation/Category/MilitarySpouseCareerAdvancementAccounts.aspx


I was just looking into this as suggested and noticed that this page says only E1-E5 spouses qualify... Is this true or am I just looking at the wrong program?

Alexandria - posted on 07/30/2011

59

7

8

Just now remembering that when I was a full time student, my best semesters always started with a lot of anxiety and doubt. I guess those feelings make me put that much more effort in to avoid failure. :) Hope this will still hold true. I know I will enjoy learning new things and having a valid reason to focus on something other than my child for the first time since I got pregnant.

Julia - posted on 07/30/2011

1,075

16

79

Honey....I hadn't touched schoolwork since I graduated high school in 98. I was in the Army myself for 7 years and then a SAHM for 2 years before I got off my ass and went back to school. Trust me you can do it.

Tah - posted on 07/30/2011

7,412

22

360

We can still support our husbands without giving up our dreams..we need to learn that in this life we live..also..the GI bill gives you a book stipend.

Tah - posted on 07/30/2011

7,412

22

360

go on line and apply now..i beleive i have a link somewhere..go to military one source..its easy to do...you can already have the information in there before you go..i actually was approved for the 6000 but when everyone started applying, they shut it down and then opened it back up at 4000 and took my extra 2000 back, which sucked..thats why im still at community even though i have been accepted to the university i need to get the classes in for cheap but i have a 2 and 2 agreement with the university so basically i take all my course for my double majors at the community college and then come over and take the classes that they don't offer and the ones that i need for my LPN-BSN and my BSW(social work) at the university...its tiring but after this semester ill be done for the most part and only taking nursing classes and SW classes and things like american public policy and pathophysiology that the 2 year school doesn't offer. it just depends, the 4000 should get you the rest of the way and you can do classes online as well, utilize the tutoring centers etc...i was one of the younger ones in my class last semester and im 30, trust me..yuo can do it and you should...

Alexandria - posted on 07/30/2011

59

7

8

Ladies, you're right. If I want my degree, I will make it happen like you are. I guess I'm just unsure of my academic abilities after being a house wife the past few years. Also, I thought maybe since my husband has been getting us so far, I should support his momentum and let him continue to reach his goals since he's been doing such a great job of it. But it really is time for me to get my shot at accomplishing something outside our home. So, my daughter starts her CYS day care program on August 2nd and when I drop her off there, my first stop will be the education center on post. In the meantime, I had heard about that $4000 for military spouses and I'm going to look more into that so I know what I'm talking about when I get to the edu center.

Tah - posted on 07/30/2011

7,412

22

360

i dont get why you wouldnt go. i have 3 children, i am in school, i work, and my husband is navy. im glad that you have a degree already because with this debt ceiling thing, if they stop paying military you may have to put it to good use. you only have one child, you can do it. Dont you think its time you go after what you want???..go sign up, have his gi bill transferred into your name or use MYCAA for 4000..heck they paid for my first 2 years and i just took the GI bill paperwork into the college yesterday to help pay for the rest...go do it..

Julia - posted on 07/29/2011

1,075

16

79

I want to add that I do NOT have a live in nanny nor would I want one. But I do have a babysitter that I pay to watch my kids during the day. Only affordable way for us to do it right now. All the while I am also preparing my 5 yr old for Kindergarten this year, so my classes and work schedules are worked around HER schedule so I can make sure she gets to school in the morning and I am there to pick her up after school lets out.

Julia - posted on 07/29/2011

1,075

16

79

I don't see any reason for you not to go. I see a lot of excuses. I have 3 children; 5, 2, 1. I am full time in school and my husband is active SSG with 13 yrs in. I am only currently going for my Associates in Bus Mgt but my current GPA is 3.75 (haven't finished summer semester but I think I'm getting at least 2 A's, a B and a C.)

Oh I am also joining a work study program to help off set the cost of daycare. but that is an extra 18 hours a week I will be working, on top of school. It can be done if you set your mind to what you want. Just quit making the excuses as to why you shouldn't and think about the why you should!

Alexandria - posted on 07/29/2011

59

7

8

I should add that I already have a 2 year transfer degree (AA degree) but it's in business Admin, so not all credits would transfer to an egineering program. I would like my masters in engineering and at best right now I will only be able to take 3 courses per semester while juggling my other responsibilities.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms