should I take my 2 yo to my husband boot camp graduation?

Determined - posted on 01/20/2012

I say take her. My daughter had a very hard time when daddy deployed for 10 months. I knew it would be hard when they had to say goodbye but felt she deserved the oppurtunity. My husband kept telling her daddy had to work and that he'd be home when he could but his job was to keep us safe. I told her daddy's job was being a hero and she liked that. Everytime grandma or auntie asked if she missed daddy's she said "yes but he's a hero" it helped her. We also did special crafts for daddy and gave all of them when he came home like we took pictures of everything we did while daddy was gone: trips to the park, store, San Diego, etc and made a scrap cook titled while you were gone. We put all the pictures in there and wrote about what we did on each trip the last picture was added the day he got home and they reunited and the last page read " mommy and me did lots of stuff while you were at work but I missed you every single day and nothing is more fun that being in your arms" My husband loved it and it made deployment easier for my daughter because we were making daddy his own story book. We made a special calendar to keep track of the days until daddy would be home. Have her dad talk to her and try to keep busy and on a routine! Good luck!

Natalie - posted on 01/19/2012

Skype is a video/phone service where you can talk to anyone through your computer. It's free when both of you have it. As long as you both have computers or you have one and he has access to the internet and a webcam then you can have a video conference. Go to www.skype.com to check it out. I used a lot when I was deployed or in training to talk to my kids and it made us feel like we were closest to each other.

Katie - posted on 01/19/2012

what is skype

Natalie - posted on 01/16/2012

....I wanted to add.....I would suggest you go alone (if possible) so you can support your husband. It is a really sad feeling when you have no one there to watch you at that proud moment. And just like Mary suggested, you should Skype him. That way she can physically see her daddy and talk with him on a regular basis.

Natalie - posted on 01/16/2012

Speaking from experience.....My daughter was 2 when I went into the active army. I went to basic and AIT and I was excited to get to see her. When she came she either didn't recognize me or she was totally pissed off with me for leaving her. I walked up to her and she screamed like someone was murdering her. I had to take off my BDU top and hat (my drill sgt's recommendation) in order for her to realize who I was. After about 2 hours she finally warmed up to me enough to want me to hold and play with her. Of course the time came that we had to part ways. She cried and had to be pulled away from me by my aunt who was taking care of her. When I spoke to my aunt the next day she told me that my daughter refused to eat and had plopped herself in the corner and refused to leave. When I graduated and returned to be with her permanently she cried every time I had to drop her off at daycare, went to the bathroom, etc. It was very traumatic for her. My personal opinion based off of that experience is to suggest that you wait until he returns. Reading your post brought me back to that very difficult time in our lives. I hope that my words find comfort.....and just know that once he returns she will hopefully return back to the loving child I'm sure she was before. She just doesn't understand why daddy is gone, and since she can't express herself yet, she's taking it out on you. Good luck and if you need my assistance please feel free to shoot me a message on here. I'm here to help! :)

Betty - posted on 01/16/2012

I have not been in this exact situation before due to the fact that I didnt have children at the time of my spouse's basic or AIT. But just to give my 2 cents, being a child of a military parent is very hard and we must place ourselves in their shoes too. Your child is dealing with a difficult time considering she was use to having daddy home all the time and now he is gone and only comes around so often. At 2yrs old she is old enough to understand a lot. I really believe you should bring her to his graduation. This is an important time for your husband and I dont know of how many sad faces ive seen when family isnt there to see them. My suggestion would be to have your husband talk to her, NOT you!!! Children tend to think we are the bad guy and sent away daddy so its easier coming from dad. My husband is currently deployed and has 5 months left. My stepdaughter was told by him that daddy has to work for a long time. And so every time they talk she asks " Daddy are you at work" and of course he responds "yes". There has been times she says " Daddy I want you to come home now" and he just reassures her that he has a big job he has to do and a lot of people need him and then she is ok with it. Just do your best to listen to her feelings and try to understand her, and as I mentioned, have her Dad tell her that he has to go back to work but he will see her soon. Hope this helps.

Mary - posted on 01/15/2012

My husband is in the Air Force and his TECH school is 5 months but its in too different states soo i cant move with him but ive got only 4 months to go:) Soo thats about 4 months right? Well its totally up to you,there are gonna be future deployments. Its a hard choice. You can skype and talk on the phone when he goes to AIT soo your daughter can see him on Skype if you guys do that.

Katie - posted on 01/14/2012

his AIT is 17 weeks. He is ARMY. What about yours?

Mary - posted on 01/14/2012

I took my 16 month old to see my husbands graduation,we got to spend 3 days with him,it was a little easier tho because my husband got to come home for a week after graduation becase it was christmas leave.How long is his AIT? If his AIT is long then maybe i would take her just to see daddy but if its short then i would just wait. What branch is he in?