so many emotions hubby will be deploying next year =[

Angel - posted on 08/25/2010 ( 16 moms have responded )

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I know there is help but is so far for me to go from where we live its just so hard i cry each night it breaks my heart, we have a 18 month old she even cries for her daddy when he just leaves to work! I know i have to be stong i went through my delievery w/o my hubby he was in BCT & AIT it was hard not having help or support, like yes i had family but i would of loved my hubby hm. we're both scared our daughter won't remember him???? she'll be alomst 4 when he comes back home from his deployment.... any advice to help me and my daughter thank you so much!!!!

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Sara - posted on 08/26/2010

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I went threw this too sweety its hard and I had a 4 month old and a 3 year old at the time they both cried when he even left to go to wrk or the store it does get easier it took a good 4 months before the oldest got in to a routine. keep them and ur self busy do things special like going to a new park or treating them and you for ice cream for dinner:) If you ever need to talk or email Im here :)

Estrella - posted on 08/26/2010

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My husband is going to be deployed next month, yikes the time flies by so fast that his date is finally coming close and now that we have our baby boy, now 7 1/2 months, its going to be a real struggle with out his presence, hang in there girl!

Kristi - posted on 08/26/2010

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Have your husband read some books on video or even cassette tape, then she will hear his voice at bed time. Even my nine year old needed this while my husband was at BCT and AIT.
HUGS

Kristi - posted on 08/26/2010

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Your daughter will remember her Daddy! You just have to be the one to make sure she does. Show her pictures, talk about him, let her talk to him when he calls (if possible). There are dolls and stuff now too. Go online and see what you can find. Also, get her involved in making up care packages. That can be fun for the both of you! I'm sure you can think of more things too! But remember, you can show your daughter that you're sad, but try to put on a brave face. If you break down, you'll only make her scared and you don't want that.

Nikita - posted on 08/25/2010

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i am in the same boat. my hubby deploys next year and my one son will be a year and a half when he leaves and my other son will be 6 months, it always is on my mind if they will remember him when he gets back.

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Angela - posted on 10/25/2010

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My husband deployed when our daughter was 11 months - she definately didn't for get him. I made sure that there were photos around the house and talked about him all the time. I wish I had recorded his voice in one of the story books or recorded him reading a story to her, but she did ok without it.
As for you Angel - I would think about how you are going to keep yourself busy during the deployment. I know you will be busy with your daughter but try to find a hobby for yourself too. After I put the kids to bed was the hardest time for me. As soon as i found an evening routine it made things a litte easier

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Let me just suggest something my hubby did for our then 8 and 3 year olds when he left last Jan. Go to build a bear they have a record your own box to put in the bear ( he got them the camo bear) and he recorded each girl a message my little one's message was his voice calling her by her nickname and telling her that daddy loves her and will see her soon. She loves it she sleeps with it every night.It also made the first couple weeks when we couldn't talk to him got a little easier. Use Skype my little one gets so excited every time he calls us she shows him her drawings from school it made his coming home for 2 weeks leave a seamless thing and it makes it easier on them when he is gone that they can see him and know he is ok. Also there is a website that u can order these dolls that u put a picture of your soldier on it u send them a picture of the soldier in his uniform from head to toe and they print it and stuff it so the child has daddy to take with them everywhere i saw these @ Ft Bragg

Tah - posted on 09/04/2010

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pictures pictures pictures...every pic he sends you, show her and let her know that this is daddy..my son was yound when my husband deployed both times and we just kept with the pics of them together, and it got to the point when he would ask where is daddy? i would say where is daddy rylan? he would say on the ship, and point to a picture so when my husband got home he was very comfortable and ran right to daddy...

Amy - posted on 09/04/2010

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I am in the situation now where my hubby just left and although my daughter is 12 months, she got used to seeing him before she goes to bed. Trust me this is hard, but you need to tell yourself that he is doing something important and that you need to keep a communication line open with him. Now if you are wanting to speak to someone in person about how to deal with your fears, but she WILL remember him, just like if you don't see someone for awhile you will know who they are, but it will take some time before you get used to them being around again. Your daughter will grow out of the clingy stage, but remember deployments can be shortened, the US Government is under strict orders NOT to let a deployment, no matter what branch to extend passed 12 months. I know for the Army you can go to the ACS to talk to someone about deployment especially about young children and deployment. Or talk to your FRG Leaders (they are normally the company commander's spouse). Talk to them, most likely they have been through a deployment and they can help. But be calm and keep pictures around the house, you can tell your daughter about your husband everyday so you can assure she won't forget him. But remember, she will NEVER forget him, especially if she is going to be 3 years old when he leaves.

Sara - posted on 08/28/2010

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as people have said, while my husband was in BCT and AIT I kept pictures. But I kept them at her eye level so she could see them every day and she would talk to them and get excited. One thing to keep in mind is that They won't forget, it might take some time for them to realize who they are but that is understandable

Tricia - posted on 08/28/2010

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keep friends around. My husband will be deploying to S. Korea in 2 months and I had a 15day old. Also keep your family close. Keep busy and download Skype and get a webcam. it really helps.

Alexandra - posted on 08/28/2010

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Hey sweetie.. I haven't been through a deployment with child yet. However, I went my whole pregnancy without my soldier! I can only imagine how tough it must be. As military wives, we are forced to stay strong, not only for ourselves but for our children as well! They rely on us and see our weaknesses. My advice is to stay active, do fun things with your baby girl, talk about daddy constantly and shower her with enough love for you and daddy!
One of my girlfriends just went through the deployment with me... She started with a one year old who barely spoke... when her hubby came back, her now two year-old, ran into his daddy's arms crying "daddy." They remember. Their daddy's are their heroes too, not just ours! And trust me, when you are at that welcome home ceremony, the year will be like a distant fog, a bump in the road, a year that made you and your baby girl strong and independant! You will never love your hubby more than when you see him march in from war, neither will your daughter!!! Good luck!

Amber - posted on 08/27/2010

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I would get the Sesame street deployment video for your daughter when your husband leaves. Also if he has access to a computer while he is deployed get online & video chat with him & let your daughter see him. My son was 5 months when my husband got deployed. My husband didn't come back from deployment until about 2-3 weeks before our son turned 1. My son loved seeing his dad on the computer. When my son saw my husband again after he came back from his deployment he did cry. However after an hour he was acting normal around my husband like he never left. Children never forget there mother/father they always know. They may take a little time to adjust seeing them again but they never forget. I hope this helps a bit =)

Angel - posted on 08/27/2010

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Awwww thank you guys all of you made me cry in a good way i'm happy to know we can all get support even if we all don't know eachother. thanks a bunch hugs and kisses!!!!!

Jackie - posted on 08/25/2010

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That was one of my husbands worries as well, my daughter was 2 when he deployed this year. He missed most of her mile stones. A few things that have helped us, is lots of pictures of daddy, always go it a picture and go " who's that?!?!" just always talk about him, so that way she will still know his face. Also, video chats, that helps too even though there is a big time differance, everyonce in a while she gets to talk to him and see his face. Or have him make some Video to send to you guys every so often, if he can. If she is crying her him, i dont see her ever forgetting him. =] Hope that helps you a bit

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