Stay in or get out

Christina - posted on 04/30/2011

Thank you so much Shelly.

Shelly - posted on 04/30/2011

Christina I am glad that you and your husband finally came to a decision and I hope that it turns out that it was the right decision for you we all have to walk our own road but I believe that you can make anything work if you try hard enough. I wish your family the best of luck in the future and I hope everything goes well.

Christina - posted on 04/29/2011

Thank you ladies! You all bring up very valid points. We have weighed our options, and he has decided to stay in!!

Jennifer - posted on 04/28/2011

My husband has been active duty for 15 years. I really do nit know what we would do without Health Insurance.

Our son was born at 32 weeks and had to stay in the NICU for 28 day until he was well enough to come home. He was born in a civilian hospital. When I received the Hospital Statement in the mail I almost passed out! His care a lone was $70,000 and the military paid EVERYTHING!

I really do not think that you are being selfish. Deployments are long and hard but he could take internet classes while he was over there. Good Luck and hope that everything works out for you

Rachel - posted on 04/28/2011

Here's one thing. When a spouse is deployed, ALL the family members have huge changes, not just the service member. My husband is in the guard and got deployed. He's coming home in a little over a week now, but this time that he's been gone, I'VE had a tough time too. While he may "face deployment," you also are facing the same thing, in a different way. If he IS deployed, you will essentially be a single mom. Let me tell you, it is NOT easy. You may not be the enlisted person, but you are his support system. You are his biggest fan. He should be yours, too. And you should both be working towards something that will benefit your FAMILY, not just one person in that family.
Another thing is this... he chose the military. He wasn't forced into it. Drill weekends aren't that bad.
I don't know what is best for you or your family, but no matter what happens, bills still have to be paid and your family needs access to good care.
Maybe talk about it... see what ALL the options are. My husband and I made a list of everything that was important, then rated them as to how important they were to him, and how important they were to me. Then, we added them up, and went with the option that had the highest points. Maybe something similar to this would be helpful?

Kelli - posted on 04/28/2011

What about doing a green to gold type program? There are military programs that will pay you your regular pay while you go to school. There are even some that allow a direct commission - so no OCS once he's done with school. He'd be in a student status and not be with a regular unit - his sole job would be school. This would allow you to keep all the pay and benefits of being active army while he goes to school. Plus, the time he's in school counts towards retirement.

Shelly - posted on 04/28/2011

I don't think you are being selfish you are looking out for your family. I will tell you my husband was lucky he did what your husband is talking about doing and then he was lucky enough that they Army let him go back to active duty. I have Lupus and a Platlet disorder where my blood doesn't clot. I couldn't get health insurance anywhere that wasn't so exspensive that we could never afford it. It almost cost me my life and now my 8 year old son has the same health problems and there is no way we could afford health care at that cost. So my advice unless he and you know with out a doubt that you can survive and pay a high price for health care and have a good income than you may want to reconsider the decision to get out. It has to be whats good for your family. Good Luck

Louise - posted on 04/28/2011

I think you are in the right here. Sit him down with pen and paper and show him the figures. if you went out to work most if not all of your wages would go on somebody else looking after your baby. Yes you would get health benefits but it is not the life you discussed. You both need to make this decision because you have to live with the aftermath. What does he want for his child?

Michelle - posted on 04/28/2011

no, your family depends on the reserves for your health insurance.If you can find a decent job while your husband took care of the baby and focused on school putting off your schooling could work out in the end. It is a rough situation though. The both of you need to weigh out all the options before he makes a decision that you do not support. Good luck!