taking a divorce overseas

[deleted account] ( 8 moms have responded )

i know that i am not the first or the last spouse that had to deal with that but i am about to loose myself.we are married for 4 years and i can say that wasnt the best years of my life.i was giving him everything and always put his feelings and his needs before me.i was always there for him ready to do whatever its take to make him happy.what he was giving me back???? differend kind of names,no time for me ,no respect,hittings and many more.he deployed two times and i had the opportunity to leave him but i had feelings for him and i stay waiting for hm to come back.this time before he come back he start talking about divorce but for one more time i tried to be nice and understanding but i was try by myself for that wedding.when he came back he was a differend person and be mean to me.when i looked his laptop tried to finger out what is wrong i found photos of him with an other girl holding each other and the same girl naked.he made me feel to little.of course we are taking a divorse and for one more time he saw me what kind of person he is by telling me that he gonna take my son away from me.a son that i raised by myself because he never had time to spend for him or for me.he never spend money for him.what the navy gonna do for that? is gonna suport me for being there for him or gonna suport him just because he is in the navy? how the system works?

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Anca - posted on 09/29/2009

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Dont worry about, the divorce will work out without that and he will not get your son away, he cant because of his job.

[deleted account]

the promblem is that i was using his laptop and i tried from my email adress to send the photos in my friends email and in mine but never me or her took the photos.how i am gonna use his laptop again? he cant come back home untill i leave.they took him in the barracks and i am sure that he delete them and anyways he never said that is him.is supose that is his roomate and ask him to keep them because he didnt want any promblems with his wife.lies lies lies lies.anyways thank you very much

Anca - posted on 09/29/2009

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spousal support you can ask for, is not sure but dosnt hurt to ask for. talk with the lawyer and he/she can tell you more about this.

the photos check you send folder maybe you still have it in there, or if you have a chance to look in his laptop you can copy it on a thumdrive.

Good luck and take care.

if you need anything and I can help anca2202@yahoo.com

[deleted account]

thank you so much and thanks fr praying for me and my son.the truth is that i email the photos in my friends email but for a reason that i am still try to finger out never send.they say that because the legall office over here taking care of him they send me in the legall office in base in my home town.are u sure that he can give me spouse suport? i am sure that he have to give money for the baby even before the divorce i never hear about spouse suport.

Jennifer - posted on 09/28/2009

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as far as i understand the court wont give custody to anyone in full active duty. unless he is able to prove that you are a unfit mother. if you wanted to you could of saved those pictures and should them to the court and it would of showed that he was not only and unift husband but an unfit father, to leave his wife and his children to go be with another woman. scumbag, if you dont mind me saying so.

Anca - posted on 09/28/2009

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Hey Pella, I am so sorry to hear what you are going trough, must be really hard. but be strong and fight till the end, don't let him win this. you are strong and can do this.



Don't be scared because he cant take your son away from you, the court will look for the best interest of the child and I don't think his best interest is to be with a dad that is always gone in a deployment or something else, so that will not be a problem.. And he will have to pay child support, and also you are entitled to ask for spouse support. make him pay.



Try to go and talk with legal office over there as soon as possible, and they will give you a lawyer to help you with this. And if you feel comfortable with, you can also get some moral support from the chaplain in there.And also try the Fleet and Family Center, they can help you with advices and can get you more informed about your rights and what you can do next.



If you really want to make him miserable and pay for all the wrong he did, get everything that proves he cheated and abuse you in any way, mental or physically, and report him to his command. they wont be easy on him for this.



Stay strong and take care of yourself and that sweet kid of yours.



I'll pray for you.

Dahlia - posted on 09/27/2009

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There are many factors that the court will considered with regard to the parent who will get physical custody. The best interest of the child(ren) is a huge consideration with the courts. The of things the court will consider is the parent who is more involve in the day to day life of the child(ren) among other things.



Alimony

The court will consider the time of the marriage, the spouse who is seeking support ability to support themselves. This includes education, age, physically ability etc. You maybe entitled to part of his retirement (I think you have to be married for about ten years or more). Some courts (depending on the jurisdiction) may consider infidelity. If you can make copies of the pics you found etc it will help. Nonetheless, you need find a lawyer.

Shenell - posted on 09/27/2009

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i am sooo sorry your going through what your going through pella.i know it must be devastating for you.i dont know if your religous but at this time the only person that can help you is God.pray about it.he can make a way through no way.if you dont know jesus get to know him.when everything is going wrong and you cant see your way through the storm he will let you see clearly

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