THIS SUCKS!

Dianna - posted on 10/13/2009 ( 30 moms have responded )

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My Husband just left for his deployment and I already miss him SOOOOO much.. I am So scared but i have to be strong for him and my boys! just a little depressed. I wish he was home already.

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Brittany - posted on 04/03/2012

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I am in the same boat you need anyone to talk to just message me. My husband left little over 3 weeks ago and I also have two boys ages 3 and 7. How old are your kids? I slowly realizing its helps when you can relate to people on what you are going through.

Krysta - posted on 10/20/2009

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Its hard and it is a total pain. My husband left the first part of this month and I am pregnant with is son, I am due next month and he is going to miss it. When he takes leave the baby will be 6 to 8 months old and almost a year when he comes back home. The best thing for you to do is to to surround your self with people who love you and that wont dwell on the fact that he is gone and keep your spirits high for your boys...IF you show them you can do it then that means they can do it too! Good luck hun

Manda - posted on 10/20/2009

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You can do it. Everyone has their emotional times but you'll get through them. That first couple of weeks for me was the hardest. I wish you and your kids the best. Stay positive.

Jennifer - posted on 10/17/2009

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Just take it a day at a time. And when each day gets too hard...then take it minute by minute. That's all you can do.

Amber - posted on 10/17/2009

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I know how you feel! I have already been through two deployments and they arent fun at all. Just make sure you keep the kids and your self busy, time will go be faster! And keep strong for your family:)

[deleted account]

I know how you feel as I am sure a lot of spouses do. My husband is in the Navy and he is gone a lot. Where we are stationed now he is gone every other week for an entire week. My oldest is used to this since my husband was gone for 9 months at one time when she was 3. My youngest not so much. To get out of my ruts that I find myself getting in I keep busy. I do a lot of crafts with my girls and I get out and do things with other wives. I find that keeping myself and my kids busy and active is not so bad. Find some type of support system in your area to help you get through these long months. Good luck and be strong!

Samantha - posted on 10/16/2009

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hang in there i kinda know how it feels my fiance is in the army reserves and we are waiting to hear if he has to go back over seas but the only reason i kinda know how you feel is this last june he had to miss his sons first birthday because of annual training he was gone june 1 and came home june 27 hang in there and if you need someone to talk to dont hesitate to find me on facebook im on daily ill halp you through us military wives and moms have to stick together its the only way to make it through hope to talk to you soon



Samantha Jo Brown Merrill, WI

Kristina - posted on 10/16/2009

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I haven't through a deployment with my husband yet but I did go through many with my father though. I saw how hard it was for my mother to be both mommy and daddy during those rough times. As I remember, she surrounded us with pictures, videos, and did things to keep us busy to make the time fly until R & R came. I thought this was a great idea.....my friend has a pillow with a picture of her husband on it do the kids can sleep with daddy very night. I am going to do the same thing when Connor get old. Maybe this could give your kids some comfort!

Renee - posted on 10/16/2009

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I am so sorry :( When my husband had left for his deployment my son was 3 months old and when he got back, my son was 18 months old! I don't know if this is your first deployment or not, but just try to stay busy and keep a routine. During my husbands deployment, I got really involved with the church and even opened my own business. Me and the kids also baked him brownies and cookies and sent him a care package every Friday. The kids enjoyed making him cards too. Also, we both have laptops with webcams so we were able to see each other and talk too. Stay strong!

Rene - posted on 10/16/2009

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Making a home with out him is going to be hard, but remember the basics, lots of pictures, favorite blankets and pillows, remember that noise is your friend, keep it loud...R&R is s tease, i just got back, i have a few more months left here till i get to go home. I feel for you, i have been in both spots, home with kids while my spouse was deployed and now the roles have been reversed. please have faith

Cassie - posted on 10/16/2009

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Im going through my First deployment. Out daughter was 6 months when he left, and came back for her 1st bday on R&R. Im not going to lie or anything, it was great and we had fun... But really it was just a tease. Cause now i have to wait another 6 months untill hes home.



I moved into and apartment without him... And it just doesn't feel like home without him.

Rene - posted on 10/16/2009

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btw, i am a deployed mother of 3, i am the mom with our her kids. hug them, love them and take it all in. time here is what you make of it. it's halloween, then thanksgiving and xmas...and i will still be here, away from home. it is tragic all the way around...hang in there

Rene - posted on 10/16/2009

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Give him all the support that you can, make time for yourself, use skype as much as you can, send lots of hand written letters, mail is the best, be strong, explain to your children what your husbands role is, tell them that they are missed, create a calender when his tour is close to ending, make small goals, us your family readiness group, create a support group, make a t-shirt with your families pic on it, send coffee and ice pops IF he can use them, keep your faith, hold your head high and be proud of your husband. he is sure to be missing you as much as you miss him, he needs your stregth to get him through this time. God Speed. they are so many programs out there to help support every step you take during this, use them to your advantage. the military life is very demanding and it is harder, i think, on the family on the home front. your life is the same but totally different and your husband life is paused and also changed. it is lonely in the desert, feeling become so clear, love and family grows, you see life for what it is and learn to live for the moment.

Lisette - posted on 10/16/2009

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Keep busy! That's the key. and set a good routine for you & your kids. My husbad is getting ready to leave on his 5th deployment in March. Feels like the first since we now have kids and he'll be deploying for a year. Not to mention we just moved to Virginia. Keep friends & family close, and if they offer to let you vent DO IT!! releases a lot of tension & stress. Good luck to you, your not alone!!

Chrissy - posted on 10/15/2009

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Keep you head up...time will fly. I found that writing letters, a little each day, keep me chatting with him and at the end of the week mailed it out. Stay busy and do more things with your kiddos. I also got a gym membership, wanting to look HOT for the return is always a plus. You can do it :)

Shelly - posted on 10/15/2009

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My husband has been on two deployments since we got married. This last one was 15 months long and seemed to take forever. I have two boys and a step daughter. It helped me to join play groups and MOPS (mothers of preschoolers). There are ways to keep busy and maybe your FRG leader or MWR has some info on that, they usually do or can find the info. Keeping busy helps the time go faster and keeping your kids busy can help them too.

Angela - posted on 10/15/2009

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We are about to embark on our 5th deployment since our first 2 daughters were born. When he first left our oldest was 2 and our second daughter was 2 months. It was pretty routine for me because I was active duty also, and the same when he left for his second tour after only being home for 2 1/2 months. Then for his next 2 deployments I was out of the Marines and a stay at home mom....it drove me nuts because I had so much time to think and the girls asked all kinds of questions. So I got the idea to make a scrapbook of everything we did while he was deployed so that he could look through it when he returned and sort of feel like he was part of it. I also got a huge flat map of the world and hung it up, then I placed push pins where we were and where daddy was at so they could see where he was when they asked. You could also check out www.hugahero.com if you have a picture of your hubby, you can email it to them and for pretty cheap they will screen print it onto a pillow / stuffed doll for the kids. It really helped my girls when they go sad and missed him they could hug it very tight and feel like daddy was there. Just try to keep them busy and have a routine for them and hopefully the time will go by pretty fast for you all. Best of luck with your deployment. :)

Marion - posted on 10/15/2009

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This is my 3rd deployment with my husband. I must say that it does get easier. I think it took me a couple of weeks on his 1st deployment to pull myself together. On his second we just had a little girl. That one was the hardest. She was already 1 by time he came home. But because of her I had to keep going because she depended on me. I was raising her by myself but called my parents and in-lawns for advice. He just left again this August, by the time I got home from dropping him off I had finished crying. I was in the Army myself and got deployed to Iraq right before the war started. I know that you are scared because of the stories you hear, or just thinking of what could possibly happen, and I have to be blunt with this one. You would have a greater chance of getting hit crossing the street. There are people that live that lifestyle on an everyday basis. I don't know if you are religious or not, but just pray that he returns home to you and your family. My mom had sent out a red cross message for me cause I hadn't called her after a few days. And you know what I was doing? The females had a nice tent set up. I had a tv, we had internet, back in 2003 we were going to a place called Qatar. I was having a good time, but dealing with stupid people. Plus my husband was with me, but he wasn't my husband at the time. All you need to do is, focus on your kids, go out whenever you can, keep yourself around family, stay occupied, and don't look at the news or read the papers. It's only going to worry you to death. Hell, I have my husbands cell number and I try not to call him. He calls about everyday, it only make the time go by slower. But before you know it, he'll be home on leave, and then deploying back home. Make sure you email him a lot of pictures. If you need to talk you can just message me. Take care

Holly - posted on 10/15/2009

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Quoting Tammy:

My daughter was 3 1/2 & I was 8 months pregnant when my husband deployed to Iraq for what ended up being a 17 month long deployment!!!!...It is HARD, but it gets easier...a couple of things that really got me through were this..... First... find someone or a bunch of someones, that seem like they have more than they can handle, for instance, I picked a gal who had just had twins & her husband was deployed with mine, and my neighbor lady who was 65 & all alone...offer to help them out, I would pick up groceries for the neighbor lady & diapers or groceries for the new mom too, it always made me feel less crappy if I was Actively trying to help make someone else's life better, because really, that is what our loved ones are doing overseas! The other new mom & myself would usually have "date night" on Friday nites so that we didn't miss our hubbys so much, we would order in ( or I would go pick up) something to eat & just watch a movie with the kids (at this point I also had a newborn :)
Second....if possible meet some of the other wives/significant others of people that your husband deployed with who have kids, or maybe even some who don't, you may have nothing in common except that your loved ones are deployed together, but may grow to be Great friends...then plan a small get together at someone's house, we did this monthly and the group grew from 3 of us to 10 by the end of the deployment.... really :)....and a couple of us were about 100 miles away from the others, but just being able to get together & vent about the lack of information we were getting, or putting care packages together, or just to get out of the house....Sorry, I got to rambling, but seriously keep busy, it really does make the time go faster, take it from someone who knows...... I pray for those of you in those shoes every night, & I pray that the time will just fly by until you see him again!


 

Holly - posted on 10/15/2009

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I know you are so sad!! NO matter how many deployments you go through the being sad after they leave never stops. I have done 3 deployments and none of them getting easier, accept after I get into a new routine.

[deleted account]

yep.. it does suck. mine is in iraq, he's on a 1 year deployment, and has been gone since December. The first few months are hard, but they do get better, I promise. After a bit of time you and your boys will sink into a bit of a routine, and settle into deployment life. You'll still have moments that jerk at your heart and bring back the tears, but they become fewer and farther between. A good tip is to stay busy, and get out of the house. My little girl and I have found ever reason under the sun to leave the house every day. lol. I've managed to stay home a lot this week because my mother in law is coming and I have to clean.. haha, but other than that, i'm gone all the time. :) It helps. And put a really big Body pillow in the bed with you.. it makes it alot easier to sleep when the bed doesn't seem so big.

[deleted account]

My daughter was 3 1/2 & I was 8 months pregnant when my husband deployed to Iraq for what ended up being a 17 month long deployment!!!!...It is HARD, but it gets easier...a couple of things that really got me through were this..... First... find someone or a bunch of someones, that seem like they have more than they can handle, for instance, I picked a gal who had just had twins & her husband was deployed with mine, and my neighbor lady who was 65 & all alone...offer to help them out, I would pick up groceries for the neighbor lady & diapers or groceries for the new mom too, it always made me feel less crappy if I was Actively trying to help make someone else's life better, because really, that is what our loved ones are doing overseas! The other new mom & myself would usually have "date night" on Friday nites so that we didn't miss our hubbys so much, we would order in ( or I would go pick up) something to eat & just watch a movie with the kids (at this point I also had a newborn :)
Second....if possible meet some of the other wives/significant others of people that your husband deployed with who have kids, or maybe even some who don't, you may have nothing in common except that your loved ones are deployed together, but may grow to be Great friends...then plan a small get together at someone's house, we did this monthly and the group grew from 3 of us to 10 by the end of the deployment.... really :)....and a couple of us were about 100 miles away from the others, but just being able to get together & vent about the lack of information we were getting, or putting care packages together, or just to get out of the house....Sorry, I got to rambling, but seriously keep busy, it really does make the time go faster, take it from someone who knows...... I pray for those of you in those shoes every night, & I pray that the time will just fly by until you see him again!

April - posted on 10/13/2009

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The first time my children remeber their day deploying was after 9/11 they were 3 and 7. Since then he has come and went and getting ready to deploy again now they are 15 and 11. It doesn't get any easier the older your children are. You and all the other military spouses are in my prayers tonight and everyday.

Dianna - posted on 10/13/2009

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thank you! I hope it will get better. it might get better when i start to hear from him but right now nothing.... The days seem so slow i just want them to fly

Aurora - posted on 10/13/2009

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I understand that fear and emotion well. My husband has been gone 7months. The day he left was probably one of the hardest days of my life. Our boys are 3 yrs old and they miss him every second. Being strong is what we have to do. You are very correct about that. Staying busy and sharing your daily things with your husband in emails and photos will help you both tremendously. I cannot promise it will be easy we would all know that was crap. But I can say the pain will lessen enough that you will be able to function. Feel free to message me if you need to vent. You and your family will be in my thoughts

Beth - posted on 10/13/2009

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I'm sorry. My husband had his deployment before I even met him so I'm not going to pretend like I know what you are going through. I just have the fear that he will have to go again and I'm not sure what I would do if that happened. I'm sure you are scared, but having boys I bet you will have things to keep you busy. Good luck and hopefully time flies for you.

Dianna - posted on 10/13/2009

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I hope it does this is driving me So crazy it is so Hard not only me my oldest son too he crys for daddy every night. He says mommy i want the bus to bring daddy back now it is so hard.. I know i can do this i am a strong person but right now i am just falling.. Its only been 4 days :(

Michelle - posted on 10/13/2009

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I know how you feel. My husband left for his deployment when our daughter was 2months old and when he returned she was nine months. Now he is getting ready to head back out again. I think to the thing that makes it harder is that he lives in Va and I live in Tn. Just keep your head up and be strong for your boys and have good friends and family on hand that will kep you busy and the time will fly I promise.

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