Shelby - posted on 01/27/2010 ( 6 moms have responded )
O.K. so I joined... Thinking that obviously this group was something other than what it is.... I know,Love it or Leave it, Right??? Well maybe so, and probably will. However, I have some things to say first, and If I step on your toes...Well sorry. You feel the need to "belittle" me,or whatever you have to do to make yourself feel bigger than by all means...Go for it. I have read post after post on here. Its always the same people and the same gripes. In more than one post I have noticed that the minute someone has an alternate view, they are quickly shut down, Re-directed if you may. I have to say I haven't noticed any belligerent bashing of any particular person, or any serious name calling. With that being said...The posts are highly condescending, and the undertones are right down ugly. If you get upset over what I got to say, then this post is obviously meant for you. Dish it out, now take it.
"I just retired as the Secretary of Defense and took 6 jobs working 500 hours a week, I've spent 25 years in college, and you know what, I'm better than you..." Wah wah wah wah wah...Thats all I hear. Yeah so I know that is a little inflammatory but when you read the same thing over and over and over, thats what it comes out to. I really don't give a rats ass that you are prior service. I don't care that you work 3 jobs to make the 3$ every two weeks stretch until payday. I think if I have to read "Get a job" or "You need to get your education" one more time, I'm going to scream.
The same (SAME) women that are on here complaining about all the "whining" and "moaning" going on in the military spouses' ranks are the ones on here bitching about what "this" wife does, or don't do...and what "that" wife spends, or wears. ARE YOU SERIOUS???? Is it that you are young???? inexperienced???? what? Do you seriously have NOTHING better to do with your time than to talk about how OTHER people live their life, like it concerns you???? In MY honest opinion (and by no means the popular one...usually) the cheating, spending, "lazy" SAHM in the military is not the only thing that gives the military a bad name. What really sucks is moving into housing and being put beside one of you that spend most of your time patting yourself on the back while running around with your nose up in the air. NEVER judge someone else for what they have or have not decided to do with their life. You DON'T know where they are coming from. You DON'T know what they are dealing with, You know what, I could agree with a lot of STATEMENTS in most of these posts, but the way they are expressed, makes most of the women here that are posting seem no less catty than the wives they are bitching about.
I'm not going to walk on eggshells, and be afraid to post something, because...I'm not prior service, I don't have a job, I do have a lot of kids, and yes I'll complain about the military whenever I want. I feel so sorry for the young, new wives that may happen to join this group and read most of these posts. VERY FEW have '"anything" to do with the whole..."MILITARY SPOUSES WITH CHILDREN" theme. Instead we have to read these negative posts wondering, "well, am I going to fit in here" Why shouldn't I fit in, I am a military spouse with Children. I joined this group without being asked if I was ever Active Duty, or if I had a job, Or if I had a college degree. I didn't know those things were mandatory to be a good military wife. So to all you young wives out there who may be reading this. NO this is NOT a good representation of the women you will meet. Yes it is hard. But it is really simple. Go with the Flow, Expect the unexpected...Keep your business to yourself, TRUST NO ONE, This is terrible, REALLY.
Whats funny is that even as a 32 year old mother of 5 who has been with her husband for 13.5 years, by his side as an enlisted marine gone officer for 10 years. I'm sitting here wondering whats coming after I hit that submit button and frankly I could care less, If I'm honest with myself about it.
How Dare some of you make the assumption that if I'm not working, I'm not pulling my weight, and I'm not helping my husband out. My husband doesn't want me to work, Not now not ever. He wants to know that no matter when or where he may go, I'm here when he WANTS me here, and you know what, That works for us. One crazy schedule in this house is enough. Guess what I didn't go to college. I know, right...shoot me now. SO WHAT!!! That is MY choice. I don't need a degree to tell me that I'm making a difference, That I'm doing something with my life. That I'm good at something. Thats the way I want to live.
You know, there is probably smoke coming out of some ears right now, and GOOD. Because if this upsets you that bad, then it was probably aimed at you. I'm not blowing smoke right now. I have read, and read A LOT on here. There is not ONE slice of my argument that can not be justified by reading over the posts on here. Yeah I know, I know..." NO ONE SAID THOSE THINGS" RIGHT??? Bull!!! That is EXACTLY what is being said in between the lines. Don't patronize me and tell me that I took it wrong...When something (being prior service, going to college, having a job) gets thrown up THAT many times by the SAME people, That is EXACTLY what you are trying to say. Be up front with it, Its hard to stand up look someone in the face and get your point across when you spend that much time patting yourself on the back. Funny thing is you don't know who I am, or what I've done. You don't know anything about me, so bash away. I'm thick skinned I can take it. Probably a WHOLE lot better than a new wife reading these posts afraid to join in because she doesn't make the grade.
Who knows, Maybe it is me. In the marine corps, maybe we do it different. We understand that people from ALL walks of life will serve side by side. We understand that you don't answer for what those around you are doing. You answer for yourself. We understand MOSTLY that if you are not part of the solution...Well guess what. You are part of the problem.
So please enlighten all of us Non patriotic, ignorant wives what is the "stereo-typical" military wife...Do you know? How many do you know? Have you met enough of us to make that categorization? Cause' ya know...I'm thinking Damn. I've only met like a few hundred of them, and they are all so different, I want to know from you obviously much more experienced wives, what is "typical" I guess I'm not invited to join the new group huh? Ah well, I guess I'll stand alone, or with the ones who have read these SAME posts thinking UGGHHHH PUKE!!! Get over yourselves!!! If you find a young wife blowing money, Maybe she needs help...Maybe she doesn't know about the financial planning classes on base. If she doesn't get out of her pj's maybe she is depressed??? I don't know, I'm just one to look at all options before I start throwing out judgments.
I'm all for people bettering themselves. I'm all for honest, faithful wives, I'm all for understanding that a deployment is a deployment, and that they happen. I'm all for taking care of your kids, and putting them first. I'm all for a WHOLE lot that some of you are for. I just hope that when someone comes to ME for support, I'm actually there with some good advice. Something I haven't seen a lot of on here. So I'll go back to my watching and reading in the background. Laughing, showing my husband some of these posts so he can get a good laugh...(and believe you me he does) and leave myself open to the attacks, and leave myself open to those that don't want to post in fear of being drug through the mud. If you need help, Need advice, Email me. If I don't have the answer I promise I will do what it takes to get it to you. See thats what it is really about.