Why are reservist/civilian wives treated differently while living on base?

Billie - posted on 05/26/2011

The only reason people act like that is because they are full of themselves. Everyone tied to the military has a job to do and as long as they do their job they all belong to the same family. My husband is active-duty army and he's serving his 4th deployment, but would I look down on a reservist who has only served 1 deployment? No, because they still did their time and job and are still a hero in my eyes. People just need to learn that being apart of the military family is a great honor no matter which branch you're apart of.



I say be proud of who you and your husband are. Don't let the possible feelings of others make you lie about who you are. Be proud that you are a military spouse, be proud of the job your husband is doing, and don't let anyone make you ashamed of that. You and your husband are great people for what you're doing, if they can't see that they have serious issues.

Tah - posted on 05/23/2011

You shouldn't have to hide it though to be treated decently. If they treat you like that because of his status then you don't want to hang out with them anyway

Heather - posted on 05/23/2011

Just don't tell anyone. It's stupid it has to be that way, but it's better than being lonely.

Tah - posted on 05/19/2011

im just always amazed at some of what people go through...

Jane - posted on 05/19/2011

Don't ask, don't tell. Just let them assume you are as good as they are, even though in fact you are better because you wouldn't treat them this way if the roles were reversed.

Keena - posted on 05/19/2011

I don't know what your religious affiliation is, but I started going to a local chapter of Wives of Faith after I became a stay at home mom. It is a group that is Christian women who are military spouses. They socialize and do devotions, book studies, etc. The group I went to was in Nashville and wad comprised if active duty, guard, and civilian contractors. Rank is not discussed and rarely is branch or status. They have a great online following too if there isn't aocal group.

Brittany - posted on 05/19/2011

I don't know what it's like. Maybe you friends give you a hard time about living on base because people have to bend over backwards to get on certain bases. We had to wait almost a year and a half before we were able to get a place on base, but that could have happened to anyone. I know civilians that live on base and that doesn't bother me. I guess maybe they just feel like you don't have the same hardships of active duty, but obviously you don't, if anything you have it worst. If you don't feel comfortable telling people that your husband isn't activate duty don't tell them. I would get in contact with Family Advocacy and find some kind of thing to go to. There's always spouces groups and usually a group that's easy to find on facebook which can be your gate way in. Good luck! I hope it gets better.

Shelly - posted on 05/19/2011

I am really sorry that you are being treated with such disrespect. I went thru something similar my husband was active duty, got out went in to the reserves and then went back to active duty. It was so wrong how pepole would act but i would be your friend if you were here. So sorry

Keena - posted on 05/19/2011

I don't know where you are, but we were guard while we lived on base at Columbus AFB. I was never treated differently. It was a training base though, so there was a large mix of active duty, reserves, guard, and civilian personnel all tossed in. I have also lived on base as a civilian contractor before my husband and I got married. For the most part I was treated well there also. The only pisses I had were more related with my age than my position (I was only 21). Most people don't understand the reserve/guard situation, even in this day were they are deployed as much or more than AD guys. Many.still see them as the guts who fill sand bags at home to keep from going off to war. If you tell people just try to explain your situation, more times than not they are more intrigued than put off by it.

Tah - posted on 05/19/2011

Well, I'll admit I don't know everything about how the reserves works, but I've never seen anyone treated differently because they were, I'm sorry if that's happening to you. I probably would have asked how it works, just out of curiosity, but he serves like anyone else...I'd say don't look so much in to people asking questions because we may just want to know, and be proud of what he does..

Rachel - posted on 05/19/2011

As a reservists wife I'd say I get it, you Don't have to tell everyone, but hey, don't worry about it, if they take the time to understand what your situation is they'll probably have More compassion for you! Lots of times I've found myself thinking 'We can't be the only reserve family in big military town.... Why do I have to explain how it works again or how hard it can be?'. But. That's just it, people don't know, so give them a chance and remember that you know your husband is doing a great job as he serves- it'll show!