1st deployment help?

Crystal - posted on 09/11/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

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My husband is in the Marine Corp and he leaves for his 1st deployment in a few months. When our son was born Chris (husband) was just starting school so he was in Florida and we were in Ohio. We;ve since moved to Cali and my son has become so attached to his daddy :) But Im really nervous about when Chris leaves, he'll be gone 6ish months. Is there anything we can start doing to get our son (14 months now) ready now? I know of the daddy dolls, but thats all I know about. Im not sure how to explain whats going on to him or how he'll react.

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Jennifer - posted on 11/07/2009

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This is not my 1st deployment, however it is the 1st long deployment. The 1st time my son was so small he didn't really "notice" what was going on. I didn't notice, probably because he was too small to mention how he felt. Our son is 2 now and this is the big one. He asks for daddy and I just remind him that daddy had to go a a trip for his job. It will take some time for him to get back but he will come home and daddy will miss him. I have pictures on my phone of them together that I can show him while we are out (just in case he asks). I have photos on my computer and I took photos of them before the flight.



I have not tried Skype but will look into that since my son can actually hold a conversation now. Prior to this depolment I was military, so my husband and I stayed in constant contact. I called from my office to his office overseas and we conducted business by phone and held brief conversations just to check in on one another. In the evenings when I was home from work, we talked online using Y! Messenger.



All of these ladies make great recommendations and valid points. Sometimes I use maps. We were previously stationed in Oklahoma so I have shown my son where he was born and where his grandparents live (TX and VA). Compared to were we lived they were both long road trips. When we moved to LA it was closer to his grandparents in TX and visits have occured more frequently. I show him the map now, and he sees where we are and where his grandparents are. We are taking a road trip to VA to see my family and we will talk about how long it takes to travel there. When we get back home I am going to buy are World Map and show him where we are and where daddy is. I'll show him that daddy is very far away but is coming back as soon as he finishes his work. He knows that daddy loves him thanks to all the hugs, kisses, bedtime stories and pictures they share.



One day at a time. I'll be praying for you all.

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Quoting Tiffany:


You just have to be honest with him. Daddy has to go to work, but it will be alittle different this time. Becasue daddy will be gone for alittle longer.





I honestly wouldnt say daddy's going to work at this age. When he comes home and he says he has to go to work, he'll freak out thinking daddy is going to be gone for a long time again. Even if you say that it is different, at this age, they dont understand time and how long things are yet. Ive seen this happen so many times. It's so sad. Maybe say he's in the marines, and far far away. Do be honest with him so he doesnt think daddy's gone forever.

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My son was just a tad older when my husband left and was very much attached to his daddy too. My husband is gone for a year to Afgahnistan.. talk to him, talk about him, tell him that daddy is far away and he'll be home soon. there's deployment Seasme Street dvds that are awesome, my son loves watching them. He has a daddy doll with a chip that has my husband saying good night to him. He might get alittle more clingy, and just be there for him dont brush him off. We go and do things in the area everyday. We talk to daddy on the web cam and on the phone. And just like us, sometimes they have hard days where they cry for daddy and just want to be comforted by you. We do things extra special that day, like go to the aquarium or something (he loves animals).

He wont understand for awhile but he'll understand enough. And as time goes on he'll understand more and more. Just keep showing him pictures and keep talking about where daddy is and how he's doing and what he's doing and that he loves him and is thinking about him.

Hope i helped.

Mikkii - posted on 09/27/2009

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Quoting Mandy:

Have his daddy tape messages for him telling him good night or reading him stories. Also if your husband can get a laptop or has one have him bring it and make sure he has a webcam. Then if you want download Skype. That is what my hubby and I are doing and it really helps.


I agree. My husband left 3 days after my son was born and will be deployed until around may of next year.  if it weren't for skype i think i'd be devastated that Pattrik doesn't know his daddy, but even sadder that his daddy didn't know him.  yay skype! :)

Mandy - posted on 09/26/2009

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Have his daddy tape messages for him telling him good night or reading him stories. Also if your husband can get a laptop or has one have him bring it and make sure he has a webcam. Then if you want download Skype. That is what my hubby and I are doing and it really helps.

Crystal - posted on 09/18/2009

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Thank you both! I didnt even think of vidoe taping anything! Thats a great idea! Thanks again!

Kimberly - posted on 09/18/2009

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My husband has been deployed for 8 months now with 4 more left to go and what we did was kinda the daddy doll thing. we went to build a bear and made a beear for my daughter and he recorded "daddy loves you kadence" in it so you push the arm and it says it so she can hear her daddy's voice. also you can video tape him reading books and put them on the tv so your son can watch daddy read him a story every night before bed or something along those lines. I hope I have helped a little bit for you! USMC Wife too

Tiffany - posted on 09/16/2009

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You just have to be honest with him. Daddy has to go to work, but it will be alittle different this time. Becasue daddy will be gone for alittle longer. And assure him that daddy will call him as often as he can. you can start having your husband video tape himself reading his favorite books, or have your husband color a picture and record it, and have him tallk as if he was coloring right then with your son. So you can later say would you like to color a picture with daddy and it would be like hes there with him. it sounds silly but kids really enjoy that silly stuff. my oldest thinks that when daddy goes away to work, that he lives in the phone so she has a pretend cell phone that lets her "visit" him whenever she wants! =]

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