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He doesn't use words!!! Help!

Amber - posted on 02/01/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

I have a step-son who will be 3 in March and he is still not talking! He will say "hi, bye, train, truck, mommy, daddy" and thats about it. Other then that, he does not talk and he does not use scentences at all! He does baby talk and I can not understand him. He also put letters in front of words that don't belong. For instance...his sister's name is Alexia and he calls her Gexia. I'm very worried about his development. My husband is in the military and is currently deployed so it is just me, my daughter, and we have my step son on the weekends. We used to have him all the time, but once he started calling me "mommy" his birth mother put him in daycare. I've talked to the daycare about it and they don't seem to see a problem. I try to work with him when he is here at my house, but I can't only do so much when I just have him on the weekends. Any suggestions?! I've tried talking to his mom about it and that isn't getting me anywhere.

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Lori - posted on 04/13/2009

i'm not a dr, but u need to ask about Autism. my son has been diagonsed for 3years. tristan was mute besides mama and dada. wouldn't make eye contact, dont enteract with kids his own age, off balance, and many other unusual behaviors. my son went for hearing test to see if he could hear right to speak right, he passed so then to a specialist that gave us our answer. hope that helped and didnt scare u

Brandi - posted on 02/07/2009

Hi, my former step-son had the same issue. I believe children can be tested in the public education system (at least in Idaho they can) around the age of 3, to see if their may be a developmental delay. My step-son did not talk and make sense til he was at least 4 and even then it was rough.

If you CAN set up an appointment for them to be tested that would be best. However, since you aren't the "gaurdian" or the sole custodian I am not sure how that would work. I'd ask the school system though. Better to get a jump on it now... rather then when they enroll in a few years and are WAY behind.

The struggle it seems is that you are more concerned then their moms. Which makes it extremely difficult because they have them all the time and have the biggest impact.

Worst case, just keep working with them. Trying to help them with their speaking, reading, etc. Make sure you give them as many opportunities to use their language as you can.

I hope that helps a little.

Michelle - posted on 02/02/2009

104

I also have a stepson that I only see a few times a year because he lives in a different state. My husband is also deployed, but I do go to visit my stepson. I understand completely. I REALLY wish I could take custody of him because I don't think he is getting the help he needs. He was also developmentally delayed in his speech, and when he finally got to kindergarten they sent him to speech classes, even though I knew way before that that he needed help. His mom let him talk baby talk and encouraged it because she thought it was cute. I could see the harm it was doing. He still cannot speak properly.

Now he has been diagnosed with learning disabilities and ADHD and his mom chooses to ignore it/deny it...she expects the school to take care of it. He is now 10, failing another grade, and frustrated and becoming angry. But my husband, my in-laws, and I cannot do anything about it. It is sad, but as long as she has primary custody, there is nothing I can do but work with him when I have him, and encourage him as much as I can.

If anyone else has any ideas, I would LOVE to hear them.

I am really impressed with the love you have for your stepson. You have a kind and generous heart, and he is lucky to have a step mom like you!