How can i prepare myself for when my husband gets deployed?

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Jodie - posted on 03/26/2009

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Thats exactly it. Find things to keep yourself busy. It would be a good time to try something you've always wanted to do but just haven't, like painting, learning to play an instrument, or some other art. Something that you can get excited about or makes you feel at ease. Exercising can be great because it lifts your spirits and your confidence (plus you can look forward to making him trip when he gets off the plane because he can't take his eyes off you ;) . The first time my husband was deployed, I had a lot of fun with "Mailing Mondays." The weekly trip to the post office allowed me to send him food he was missing, little gifts, notes, drawings, pictures (so he didn't have to be at the comp to see them-he kept them in his room and one w him on the job site), things he wasn't able to pack himself, and fun/cute/sweet notes (i have a lot of fun w heart-shaped post-its. :) And he loved getting packages. It made him feel missed, and the other guys were all jealous. haha One time I sent a box with stuff for him to share with the other guys. But be sure to use flat rate boxes, because it can get really pricey. Definitely make sure you have loved ones to spend time with and be sure to go out and have fun! You will miss him the most when you are bored or alone. Do your best to keep him updated on everything. Ask for pictures of him, too (he's not the only one who misses their spouse!). Try your best to have a good attitude whenever you get the chance to talk to him. A lot of the time he will be looking to you to cheer him up. If talking to you is the highlight of his day, then having an unpleasant conversation can create a downward spiral for him. Especially since conversations can often get cut short and lefty unresolved. But that doesn't mean don't communicate! I'm sure you will do just fine. Enjoy the time you get to spend with him now. Don't get caught up wishing he wasn't leaving and hoping magic will change it. The sooner he leaves, the sooner he can come home, and it will go by sooner than you think. And remember, if he is confident that you are safe and doing well he will not have to worry that he is not there to take care of you. Be sensitive when he comes home because the man will be back in his house after you have been running it. Allow him to step back into power and be supportive. When you present him with the changes you've made and the things you have learned while he was away, be careful not to be imposing your new house rules on him. He is still the leader of your family. I hope that all makes sense and was helpful. :) Good luck!

Annie - posted on 03/09/2009

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Hi!!!



My fiance was deployed for the first time last September. Honestly the only thing that helps ease the pain is to keep busy and surrond yourself with friends and family. Its going to be hard and you are going to feel super lonely and sad at times but just try and remember that it does get easier, it wont seem like it at first but I promise it does and before you know it he ll be back home

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Quoting Jodie:

Thats exactly it. Find things to keep yourself busy. It would be a good time to try something you've always wanted to do but just haven't, like painting, learning to play an instrument, or some other art. Something that you can get excited about or makes you feel at ease. Exercising can be great because it lifts your spirits and your confidence (plus you can look forward to making him trip when he gets off the plane because he can't take his eyes off you ;) . The first time my husband was deployed, I had a lot of fun with "Mailing Mondays." The weekly trip to the post office allowed me to send him food he was missing, little gifts, notes, drawings, pictures (so he didn't have to be at the comp to see them-he kept them in his room and one w him on the job site), things he wasn't able to pack himself, and fun/cute/sweet notes (i have a lot of fun w heart-shaped post-its. :) And he loved getting packages. It made him feel missed, and the other guys were all jealous. haha One time I sent a box with stuff for him to share with the other guys. But be sure to use flat rate boxes, because it can get really pricey. Definitely make sure you have loved ones to spend time with and be sure to go out and have fun! You will miss him the most when you are bored or alone. Do your best to keep him updated on everything. Ask for pictures of him, too (he's not the only one who misses their spouse!). Try your best to have a good attitude whenever you get the chance to talk to him. A lot of the time he will be looking to you to cheer him up. If talking to you is the highlight of his day, then having an unpleasant conversation can create a downward spiral for him. Especially since conversations can often get cut short and lefty unresolved. But that doesn't mean don't communicate! I'm sure you will do just fine. Enjoy the time you get to spend with him now. Don't get caught up wishing he wasn't leaving and hoping magic will change it. The sooner he leaves, the sooner he can come home, and it will go by sooner than you think. And remember, if he is confident that you are safe and doing well he will not have to worry that he is not there to take care of you. Be sensitive when he comes home because the man will be back in his house after you have been running it. Allow him to step back into power and be supportive. When you present him with the changes you've made and the things you have learned while he was away, be careful not to be imposing your new house rules on him. He is still the leader of your family. I hope that all makes sense and was helpful. :) Good luck!



You could NOT have said this any better. 



I'm still shaky on the part when he gets home, because I am actually experiencing my husband's first deployment....BUT....I found the last paragraph or so VERY helpful regarding the homecoming.  So, thank you :)

[deleted account]

Quoting Jodie:

Thats exactly it. Find things to keep yourself busy. It would be a good time to try something you've always wanted to do but just haven't, like painting, learning to play an instrument, or some other art. Something that you can get excited about or makes you feel at ease. Exercising can be great because it lifts your spirits and your confidence (plus you can look forward to making him trip when he gets off the plane because he can't take his eyes off you ;) . The first time my husband was deployed, I had a lot of fun with "Mailing Mondays." The weekly trip to the post office allowed me to send him food he was missing, little gifts, notes, drawings, pictures (so he didn't have to be at the comp to see them-he kept them in his room and one w him on the job site), things he wasn't able to pack himself, and fun/cute/sweet notes (i have a lot of fun w heart-shaped post-its. :) And he loved getting packages. It made him feel missed, and the other guys were all jealous. haha One time I sent a box with stuff for him to share with the other guys. But be sure to use flat rate boxes, because it can get really pricey. Definitely make sure you have loved ones to spend time with and be sure to go out and have fun! You will miss him the most when you are bored or alone. Do your best to keep him updated on everything. Ask for pictures of him, too (he's not the only one who misses their spouse!). Try your best to have a good attitude whenever you get the chance to talk to him. A lot of the time he will be looking to you to cheer him up. If talking to you is the highlight of his day, then having an unpleasant conversation can create a downward spiral for him. Especially since conversations can often get cut short and lefty unresolved. But that doesn't mean don't communicate! I'm sure you will do just fine. Enjoy the time you get to spend with him now. Don't get caught up wishing he wasn't leaving and hoping magic will change it. The sooner he leaves, the sooner he can come home, and it will go by sooner than you think. And remember, if he is confident that you are safe and doing well he will not have to worry that he is not there to take care of you. Be sensitive when he comes home because the man will be back in his house after you have been running it. Allow him to step back into power and be supportive. When you present him with the changes you've made and the things you have learned while he was away, be careful not to be imposing your new house rules on him. He is still the leader of your family. I hope that all makes sense and was helpful. :) Good luck!



You could NOT have said this any better. 



I'm still shaky on the part when he gets home, because I am actually experiencing my husband's first deployment....BUT....I found the last paragraph or so VERY helpful regarding the homecoming.  So, thank you :)

Kara - posted on 04/04/2009

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I see that everyone has told you to surround yourself and that is very good advice it is also important not to forget to have some fun. the first time my husband was deployed i sat around the house and went to school thats all i did, i myself forgot to have fun! My husband is leaving again in may and we now have a son and i have to keep reminding myself that we have to keep life fun for Him and myself. Its hard without them here but just remember that they are only gane for a short time if you look at your WHOLE life together. I hope you are keeping your spirits high.

Kacey - posted on 04/01/2009

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surround yourself with people that you can talk to and trust. that's what got me through it.

Teyaka - posted on 03/27/2009

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I agree with everyone. Keep yourself busy! Sometimes the time will fly by and then there are days when it seems like time is dragging its feet. Keep your stress level down. And be supportive. Get to know other wives that have hubbys that are deploying around the same time. Yall can be each others anchor. You should make sure you keep in contact with friends and family. There are going to be times when you feel like you are going insane and need someone to lend a listening ear.



But, I know thinking about it as a vacation helped me alot. I thought I can have the whole bed to myself without hearing someone in the morning complain that I took up the whole thing. No one to say I stole all the covers in the middle of the night, and no dinner demands to meet expect for my own. My hubby and I look at the deployments as a vacation from each other. I think that it keeps some spice in the marriage, because we aren't always under each other. I also think this helps in the arguing department. We hardly argue or fight.



Know that there is a support system out there. If anything get on the site and talk to us moms. Someone here is either experiencing what you are or they have gone through it.



GOOD LUCK

Rachael - posted on 03/26/2009

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keep yourself busy, make a routine for yourself every day, so really your life can go on without him in it (for a short while that is) thats what i do, and when my husband is back he has to fit back into my lifestyle and what me and my son do. x

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