Raising a 3 month old with husband on cruise an no family close.

Sabrina - posted on 03/08/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My son was 2 1/2 months old when my husband left for his 5 month cruise. Sometimes I think I'm going to loose my mind. I had to jump through hoops the other day when I had a stomach flu and had to find someone to watch my son so I wouldn't get him sick. I didn't think being a single parent was so hard. I'm not really a single parent since I am married and have the 2nd income but raising him alone is the hardest thing I've ever done. I'm so lucky I have a great baby who never cries. My husband is gone for 5 months then comes home for 5 months (of which he will probably be in and out to sea) then he goes out for another 8 month cruise. For the first 2 years of my sons life my husband will only be home for maybe 6 or 7 months of it. Any suggestions on how to make time go by fast and keep my husband as involved as possible. I try and send him at least one pic a day, but sometimes it doesnt seem like enough.

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Heather - posted on 08/11/2009

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I totally Understand how you feel my husband left May 13th for 7 month deployment and my baby was born june 11th they told him he would be able to stay back for the birth and changed their mind at the last minute It was not the news I wanted to hear. I don't know if you want to put the money into it but I went to best buy and bought a DVD recorder it was $100 but it was the best investment I think I made you can transfer the video from your video camera to a dvd and send it to him! My husband absolutely loves it i send like a months worth of tape at a time except he feel asleep to it with his head phones and didnt wake up for work the next morning! I keep busy just by getting out going for walks etc. the sunshine just makes me happier. Also I joined the ymca if you are away from a military base the military will pay for your membership they have child care and everything! I hope i was able to help some take care!

Mikkii - posted on 08/10/2009

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I'm sort of experiencing the same thing. My baby is 3 months old too and his daddy left when he was 3 days old. I send lots of pictures and videos. I also sent him a lock of the baby's hair. Skype is also really good if your husband has access to it. Another thing that I did was to send a bunch of children's books and blank dvds to my hubby so he could record himself reading to the baby and send them back to us so that the baby can see his daddy. Pattrik loves sitting in my lap and watching daddy read to him. My husband will be gone a year, so I know what you mean about it not seeming like your doing enough. I wish I could think of more to do myself.

Joylene - posted on 07/05/2009

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I know what you mean. I gave birth to my daughter and the next day my husband went out to sea. It was hard, I was new to Jacksonville, no friends, no family and yet I didn't know how to get around. I was so lost miserable and scared. I cried all the time and to top it off I was a new mother.



What I did, I took pictures our daughter everyday and once a week, I sent him an email with 7 pictures and he see's the difference in her. It made him really happy and at the same time he told me he was sad because he was never there. I told him in return, you serve our country and you give your daughter the freedom she deserves!!



As for yourself, find other wives and have a date night. Get a sitter, if you can't then get a girls night at your place. Have everyone bring a dish and trade recipes. Since your baby is still so young, do some scrap booking or make a video journal of your daughter. Remember you are not alone. If your having a bad day email your husband and tell him or yet, take your son and go out for a nice walk.



Hope this works!

Jodie - posted on 03/26/2009

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My daughter is 3 months old now and her daddy left when she was 1 month. She will be 8 months old when he gets back. I too am realizing how tough it is! I tend to stay up really late because it's the only time I get to myself to clean and do homework for my online classes and just do whatever I want. But she isn't letting me sleep in as late as she used to so I gotta start gettin' to bed sooner. haha Anyway, I think more than keeping your husband involved, it is important to keep your little boy involved with his daddy as much as you can. It means so much to my husband when our daughter watches him, smiles when she sees his face, and laughs at him on webcam. We LOVE skype. If you can, you need to get a webcam!!! If you aren't able to use a webcam, then I suggest recording videos and sending them. If he can, your husband should record videos talking to him. As many as possible, so he can look at them and get to know his daddy more that way. Or he could even read to him and record it on a cassette. Anything that has his face or his voice. If your husband cannot send them to you, then try to have him record them while he is home. It will mean a lot to your husband that you are working to make sure your little boy knows his daddy. And you could even record the baby's reaction to the videos and show them to your husband! :) Whatever you can do to show him who his dad is. Show him lots of pictures of his dad, etc. That will mean the most to him. But keep sending pictures!!! That means a lot, too. :) Good luck!

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You can send him cards with your son's foot print or hand print in it. Make videos of him eating or cooing or whatever new thing he is doing. If DH has a way to watch it on ship, you can send it to him. If not, they are still nice to watch when he gets home. You can buy iron on paper at a craft store, take pics of you and the baby, print it onto the paper and iron it onto a pillow case. Then he can go to sleep with you on his mind. lol Maybe that sounded corny.

I know that men can be temped when they are away from their spouse for a long time. I don't know how you feel about this idea, but you could have a friend take some naughty pic of you to send to your hubby. I did it for mine DH and sent them to him with some lube and he thought I was the coolest wife ever. He said it was easier to avoid temptation and I liked the fact he was looking at me and not some tramp in a magazine.

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