Mom's whose teens have died in car accidents

I lost my 19yr old daughter 4 yrs ago in horrible car accident going from college to work. We were so very close from birth to 13 when her compulsive lying which I noticed at age 3 took a mad insane sadist turn on me. For the next 3 years I did not know she was telling everyone I was an abuser physically/mentally, threw her numerous times out of hose with no one to take her in, wouldn't feed her and more!! Cpa came to my door, took her away and it was then they told me what she had been saying for 3 yrs! After a week or two in the cpa she realized her horrible mistake being at foster care was very strict and wanted to come home but she had to tell them it was all lies so I had to enforce a discipline contract on her which she would only laugh at. She screamed at me, I wish you would fucking die! My heart broke forever with those words.😢