Has anybody else totally lost there sex drive?

Christine - posted on 07/15/2012

Hey Jessica!
So I've totally been where you are and still do from time to time. A drop in sex drive after a baby and or from medications is normal.The best advice and articles i've read were all in agreement..JUST DO IT! Even if you swear up and down your not up for it at all, just try it anyways. Once you start to get busy with your fiance you'll hopefully remember why its feels so great to be intimate with him. Sex is an important part of a healthy happy relationship so if you keep putting it to the side the less and less you will actually want it and the more frusterated your fiance will get im sure.

Sheridan - posted on 07/11/2012

Well, all I have to say is that being a mom (or even a step mom) is hard work, and 90% of the time I'm to tired to want to do anything but sleep in my bed. But, it isn't all that fair to our significant other. I specialize in herbal remedies/essential oils, and there are a few things you could try that could help, but the affects very from person to person. I assure you, the mixing of scent and sex are nothing new-ancient Egyptian and roman cultures bathed in essential oils before indulging in love making. There are many articles on the internet all about the power of smell:
- No two people smell the same odour the same way.
- A person never experiences one smell the same way twice.
- Your ability to detect odours changes daily and depends on your physiological condition.
- You have the ability to distinguish 10,000 individual scents.
1.) find a local essential oil perfumery and inquire about pheromones.
-pheromones are a chemical factor that trigger social response
-there is a such thing as a 'sex' pheromone
-Sometimes you can get them added to an oil you like,depending on where you go.
2.) certain scents could actually raise libido
-it might sound weird or gross, but I'd Any delicious dessert or fruit is your safest bet
~purchase some vanilla scented candles (chocolate cake, pecan pie, spiced plum, whatever scent appeals to you most)or lotion, and take turns giving each other a massage
3.) from my clients, I have heard aroma therapy is a great way to repair the drive that was lost
-you should check out this amazing company:
~myscentuelle.com
-they have this patch you wear on you wrist, it's scented, and I've heard it works wonders.
I hope this helps! :]

Julie - posted on 06/02/2012

Hi Jessica, I really feel for ya. I was 26 when I had my last child and for some weird reason I lost all of my sex drive. Doctors then couldn't explain why. I am now 54 and I still have not gotten any of it back. I have gone through three other marriages and that was a sore subject in all of them. Fortunately my hubbie now is very understanding. God does work in mysterious ways. My hubbie can't and I don't so it works out. I hope all works out for you.

Kariann - posted on 05/18/2011

I am in the same boat and when I talked to the doctor about it she said that the anti-depressants and pain meds I am on pretty much shut down any type of labido I might have. I am so lucky that I have a husband who understands and never complains that we aren't getting it on. My daughter is going to be turning two soon and I do really miss that part of our relationship. We both are looking forward to a future where I won't be in pain and where we can both share each other intimately. There is something about sex that can bring couples closer if it's not felt like a chore.
I wish you luck and hope you find your drive soon.

Jennifer - posted on 01/31/2011

Ya I am in that boat too. Mine are 5, 2 and 3mths. I could care less about it. I do it to make him happy but I kinda just lay there! LOL I am breast feeding so I guess that drys you up...not fun, but the more we are having it and the more I go to the gym is helping my mood and my sex drive. I actually get a tiny tiny urge at least once a week. LOL So maybe try some exercise like 3 days a week and see if that helps...

Jessica - posted on 11/19/2010

my youngest is 17 months now and im still never in the mood. i blame it on the fact that the kids suck the life right out of me most nights. but its not really that. i just dont feel the urge. and i want to keep my bf happy at least and im sad to say that ive faked it just so he would get done and i could be left alone. and im only 20, this should be the peak of my sex drive and constantly want it. i wonder if its something medical but im too embarassed/ashmaed to say anything to him or my dr.

Sonya - posted on 11/05/2010

totally lik dat meself was only interest once afta i had me lil one n dat was cuz i was pure drunk lol but other then dat i really dnt hink bout it nemre n i used ta b de type ov person dat taut it make a relationship but nw no its like it dnt even exist nw ha dunno if its de antidepressants but am not on dem n i still ave no interest i hink it jus takes time as ur body n hormones r all ova de place. . . if u havnt had sex since maybe try it n see if it sparks nethin r kinda ave a romantic nite in wiv ur fella. . . . hope dis helps :D

Jennifer - posted on 09/27/2010

I am not a girl who is into porn or things of that sort..> I did have a friend who went thru the same thing after she had her kid. She told me to read the Sex Chronicles by Zane. The books are vivid and amazing.. and obviously about sex. When she gave me one of the books to start off with, she said I hope you are on bc because these books will get your prego again. The books werent a permanent fix I am still working on getting my libido back to how it was before two kids, but definitely gave it a lil boost for that time.

Jennifer - posted on 09/27/2010

I have had the same thing happen since I had my second kid. But I have been told the bc can have a side effect of lowering libido (i wasnt on bc before either), then just not feeling good about yourself post doesnt help. I started working out, even though I don't physcially look much different it just make me feel better and more active and awake. I have extra energy to dress up which in the end may help. i would ask about switching your bc or just talking to your doc about it period, it couldnt hurt.

Ixchel - posted on 09/06/2010

Amen Sister leave me alone I am with you!!

Ixchel - posted on 09/06/2010

I Have know Idea what to do about it but I know what you mean. My husband is the most loving and thoughtful lover in bed, and he is good looking and when we go places women always look at him. But I could care less about having sex with him. or anybody. I think Toby Keith is like the sexiest man alive and I probably would not roll over in bed to have sex with him. I have had 8 major surgeries in 4 years that have left me scared up and in major pain constantly and I guess between that tnd the everyday worries of kids and the house and etc. I could just care less. So it is so bad any more that the very thought of it make me want to vommit. Maybe the two of you could get a trusted babysitter like a grandma or something and go out for a night date even to a hotel maybe.

Amy - posted on 08/29/2010

well, i've had 2 c-sections and a VBAC, kids are 16, 10 and 3....and i'm on TWO anti-depressants....and i'd be happy and glad to never have it AGAIN. even when i've tried, in the last four or so months, i can't "complete" anyway. so why bother??

i swear ladies....(and somebody PLEASE give me a high five on this one)....sometimes i just WISH that a man would consider it a good and happy, fulfilling marriage without sex. i mean, hug and kiss, sure. but draw the line like at first base. beyond that...keep a little porn collection under the bed and leave me alone. yanno?

(i know i know....i'm completely not healthy and a basket case...but i KNOW i'm not alone!!)

Heather - posted on 08/20/2010

im in the same spot! mine is 4mths and husbands getting aggrivated

Ashlee - posted on 08/16/2010

Guh. Thank God, I'm not alone. Even tho i still feel that way - I have no idea what happend to my ''want'' .. it's probablly been almost 6 months since i've even thought about it ; SO is always hinting,asking - wanting .. i just can't find my labidddo - its soooo depressing =[

we used to have a great sex life and an amazing connection ; and now .. i have no energy or labiddo.
I feel like sometimes i'm self concious and dont want him to even seee me until these 25lbs are gone and these stretch marks fade. I feel so unattractive right now - i think thats part of it for me..

Lauren - posted on 08/07/2010

I dont think its the pills, more like the birth control or the fact that you just had a baby a while ago. I was on both and same happened to me. Im off the pills and i have figured it my Merina (IUD). Maybe change ur birthcontrol if possible, or take a day to urself and re-discover ur body. Our likes and dislikes change after haveing a baby.

Sarah - posted on 07/26/2010

as your on anti-depressants hun i take you been feeling low and thats prob why you lost your sex drive. you not long had a baby. how about you try and make time for each other. cook a romantic meal dress sex and see where the mood takes you. xx

Joannah - posted on 07/09/2010

Hang in there, it's a season that will probabley pass. I always go through it for about the first 6 months after baby and I slowly go back to normal as my body recovers.

Jessica - posted on 07/05/2010

I have been the same way, I heard that is a side effect of vaginal birth. Who knows but my son is 6 and I am still the same way! YIKES

Tara - posted on 06/27/2010

I know what u mean, it sucks!

I know antidepressants and other meds can lower libido, same as birthcontrol (I have a copper IUD and since I have had it my drive is non existant)

I have heard of herbs like ginseng can help (u can research other herbs too that might help)

...if u find out what works let me know lol
;-)