Rhiannon - posted on 06/13/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )
ok so i'll give a rough idea of whats been happening. its kind of a long story.
my partner and i have been having alot of problems lately, and im pretty sure im suffering with depression so things are very hard at the moment.
about 6 weeks ago we had a massive fight so i took my 3 girls and went to stay with my mum for a few days, basically because he had been lying to me. so when i came back i tried to talk to him about what was bothering me and the response i got was 'oh god i have already said sorry for that' (he and my brother had lied to me while i was away) as if sorry was supposed to make me forget it, come on i deserve better than that right! anyway part of fights were about him watching porn and lying to me about it, i know alot of ppl watch it but to me i dont think it is exceptable. it makes me feel worthless, unattractive, unloved and very unneeded if you get my drift. i have an 11 week old baby so i already feel very bad about my body as it is. anyway the other night i was playing with his phone and found out that he had been downloading it onto his phone, i asked him about it and he told me he had no idea what i was talking about lying straight to my face. after that i told him that i wanted to talk about it but he told me that any time we talk its always about me and how im feeling and if i dont get my own way then i crack it. i have also tried to explain to him that some times i find it very hard to cope with basic every day things and his response to that was 'you always use that as an excuse' REALLY!
i have just about had enough if im willing to put in 100% of effort on trying to work things out then he should too, but to me it seems as if i'm supposed to shut up and get over it. im nearly ready to walk away and i dont want to beacuse im still as in love with him as i was 4yrs ago when we met.
i really could go on for much much longer about everything but thats a basic idea of whats happening and how i'm feeling.
please be supportive, i go by the golden rule 'if you dont have anything nice to say then dont say anything at all' i dont mind if you have objections to anything i have said but please dont be nasty.
thanx for listening