A single mom longing for support

Claudia - posted on 11/10/2008 ( 3 moms have responded )




It is just my son and I. I am Claudie, 27 and have one son Nico, 21 months old this month. I left his dad when he was 4 months old and the last time his father came around was when my son was 6 months old. We do not hear from him nor see any child support...as I am sure is the song sung among some of us. I am almost all alone in this, my family not being much support. We are currently looking for a new place to live, one that is emotionally and mentally healthy for the both of us as we are currently living in a "cold" environment to say the least. I just want to meet other moms in my situation and gain some emotional support through this hard time. This forum kind of comes as a life saver right now as our living environment has taken a turn for the worse. My son has had a rough life so far. Born with a abdonminal deformity - Gastroschesis - has been since repaired however it is where there is a whole in the babies abdomin and their bowels and major organs are outside of the body. He was a sick infant and since then his health has improved. We are currently undergoing phsycological evaluations for his horribly abnormal sleep patterns and behaviors that seem to get worse the older he gets. He is the sunshine of my life and I can honestly say with out him today I do not know how I would get through my days. He is my heart!

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Katrina - posted on 11/10/2008




Hi Claudia,
My little Nicolas is 18 months old! I am soooo sorry to hear about your little boy's health problems! The thing is, he'll be fine as long as he has his mother there to love him. You have a fantastic smile, and I'm guessing your Nico has the best laugh ever... focus on that to warm up your "cold" environment.

If you're looking for some "in person" support, you might want to look into www.meetup.com... Depending on the city you live in, you might be able to meet up with other moms. The one here in Ottawa is very dynamic - we have a mom group that meets regularly... and even though the other moms are not in the same situation I am in, they do provide support. It's not always all about the father... it's about the bedtime routine, or allergies, or new toys on the market, or a fantastic place to go an buy a Halloween costume, or (the best) the story of what this little one or that little one did this morning. I've listened to their stories and they have listened to mine - and often, I find myself pretty happy to be in my situation (unplanned pregnancy, father lives in Europe and has never seen nor asked to see his son, no child support...) because I get to raise my little one the way I want, and all the laughs and the smiles are for me!

PS: Nicolas and I were co-sleeping until about 3 weeks ago... it was the only way I could get him to sleep through the night. And then, one very rough night... now, he is sleeping on his own, in his crib, until morning. I wish you the same with your little one!

Joni - posted on 11/10/2008




Well, I don't really know exactly what to say, but your story sounds similar to mine. My son is just about 7 months and it was just recenty that is father disappeared from the picture. I completely understand how you must be feeling!! It gets hard to keep on keeping on and doing the best for your baby when noone else is there to help...even with little things.

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