about child support and tax credit

Sara - posted on 05/19/2010 ( 7 moms have responded )

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ok i need some advice i'm pretty sure what i'm going to do but i want to know how or what other mom's would do! I have the father of my two children asking me to put a hold on the child support which he has not payed in like almost 2 years now and does not really support our kids except when it's his every other weekend visit he has a roof and food. i gave clothes for our kids to be there at his house and medicine. and he wants me to hold it because he's going to school online and it would help him out and not be racking up or put him in jail! also he asked me to give him our oldest son to do the tax credit this coming year to help him! BUT I FEEL LIKE HE SHOULD CLAIM HIM FOR TAX CREDIT DO TO HE DOES NOT SUPPORT THEM AND DOES NOT TRY TO DO ANYTHING MORE FOR THEM BUT WHAT HE HAS TO, AND THE SCHOOLING, I'M GLAD HE IS THAT'S GREAT BUT I'VE BEEN SUPPORTING THEM FOR 2 YEARS WITH NO HELP FOR HIM OR HIM TAKING THEM MORE. BUT WHEN HE MISSES HE MAKES IT UP BUT NOW HE'S SAYING IF I DON'T AGREE HE WILL TAKE ME TO COURT AND TRY TO GET THEM 50 - 50 SO HE DON'T HAVE TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT! HE IS REMARRIED AND HIS WIFE HAS HER OWN KID. AND NOW THEY ARE THROWING THIS IN MY FACE. PLEASE HELP GIVE ME ADVICE! THANK YOU.

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Jennifer - posted on 05/20/2010

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Well this is my response to this, he is obligated to pay child support. I would not cut him any favors, he made his bed and now he has to lie in it sweetie. I am a single mother, my daughters father has made maybe two handfuls of payment. When I tried to be nice to him it bit me in the behind every time. My daughter is 7 years old and her father is about 20,000.00 in the arrears and does not help me one single bit. It is NOT you responsibility to provide clothing, medicine or anything of the sort for his house. It is his responsibility. You JOB as a single mother is to provide means for your children when you have them. If he cannot do so and you feel that your children are being neglected medicine and clothing wise I would have it reevaluated in court. The judge will let him know it is his responsibility. I work two jobs and I am also in college, if he does not want to go to jail then he needs to man up and take care of his. However, this is only my advice. My daughters father does not file his income tax because he owes on the arrears and they will confiscate a good portion of his income tax for child support. I am not aware if your children's father is aware of this. I would not stop the child support by any means. You did not have the children by yourself and you should not have to suffer or struggle to take care of them. As far as him being remarried, what right does he have to take care of anothers child before his own, that is not your responsibility to allow for him to be able to care for anothers before his own. If I was you I would make him fess up to his responsibilites that is not your problem. If he genuinly cared about his children then he would get his priority straight. Also do not cut your nose off to spite your face, you pay for your children all year long with no help at all, do not let hm reap the rewards of claiming your children, that is your earned income credit and YOU DESERVE it !!!!!!

Cassandra - posted on 05/22/2010

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I agree completely with Jennifer. My daughter's father is in the military so, so far i haven't had trouble getting my child support payments. However, the only reason why I get any money is because I went through all the hassle. He hasn't given me one penny voluntarily or even bought our daughter anything. She is only 8 months old but i didn't start getting payments till she was 5 months. I work two jobs so she is at a private home daycare full time. Which for those of you who know is a major expense!

When he did come home at christmas he acted like babysitter and just had her while i was at work. I had to provide everything for her at his place because he had nothing there for her. No clothes, no diapers, no formula, no toys. Plus i'm the one who had to take her there and pick her up. And the first day he was to watch her when i had work he had gone out and gotten drunk the night before and i had to go hunt him down so he could watch his daughter!

So claim your kids! and don't put a hold on the child support at all.

Tracy - posted on 05/21/2010

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i would say dont buy this story, what is online schooling costing dose it mean he dosent or cant work because of this schooling
as far as im aware for every 24 hours the dad has the children the payments come down and if he buys things like clothes as long as he shows reciepts that is taken into account, im lucky in that my girls father and i have a mutual agreement that has worked for us and if he is a bit stuck im prepared to be owed a monthes allowance but if the agreement got broke i would not hesitate to get in touch with the csaand let them take over the arrangements.

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Sara - posted on 05/22/2010

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thank you everyone who commented. it was so helpful. i already didn't want to put a hold and i don't want to give him the credit. but he just think cuz he's my x husband and he use to be able to scare me i will go thru with it. and he's wife is right by his side but when it comes to her lil girl it's all out for the father. and cassandra you sound alot like what i went thru. it's funny cuz i did all of that too!

Cindy - posted on 05/20/2010

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The fact that your ex has not paid child support will look extremely bad for him in a court of law - it is very doubtful that they would award him 50/50 care. Go to the government department of child support and let them do the whole thing for you. my ex refuses to pay all support so the department collects the money and does all financial negotiations. As long as you are working with the department the laxk of payment will be noted in a court of law. It is great that he is doing some schooling to get out of the rut he is in, but it is his life, his responsibilities. focus on the children and take the money haggling out of your relationship

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