Adoption

Christina - posted on 01/03/2010 ( 1 mom has responded )

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Im 14 weeks pregnant and my parents just now hit me with the "adoption option." I lived in california with my aunt where i had a job and stable place to stay and had a 3 minute stand and got pregnant. I didnt tell my mom til i was 8 weeks because i was scared how she would react (when i was 15 i got pregnant and she forced an abortion on me). Now im 20, i dont have a job, i cant get on welfare because they wanna go off my dad's income when he's the only one who works in the house of 4 soon to be 5. My mom asked me if i wanted to come home and i said yes because i thought thats what she wanted (she doesnt express her feelings well). And when i first got here she was sooo excited to be a grandma. Thats all she could talk about. Now 5 weeks later she tells me i should think about my options. I dont want to give this baby up cause the way i see it is "God won't give more than what i can handle." I'm hoping that a job or something will come up soon. Im already depressed because im away from my friends and a majority of my family and now i have to give up my first born? I understand i dont have a job but i dont wanna give up now and say "ok ill give my baby up." I dont wanna gain 30 pounds, get saggy boobs, and thru labor just to give up my baby.
My cousin on the other hand told me that maybe her and her husband could adopt my baby and i would still be known as mother to my kid they would just be parents and i was thinking about that because i know my cousin and her husband are financially stable and make great parents. I just wanna be the one to see my baby say his/her first word, make his/her first step, etc etc.
I just dont want to give up without having a chance to get on my feet. Has anyone been through this before?

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Vickie - posted on 01/04/2010

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I've been on the opposite end. I adopted my little boy. I feel you should think about beyond the cute little clothes, etc that come with a baby and consider the hard work that comes with raising a child. It's not all fun and games, unfortunately. Are you settled enough to devote yourself to the child, or do you still want to go clubbing every weekend? (You do have to have your own time, but . . .). Consider these issues. If you are truly ready to be a mom and feel that you can devote your life to that child, raise it yourself. God will give you the strength you need. However, if you still have some wild oats to sow, let your cousin adopt. At least you would still be able to be involved in the childs life. BTW, I was 30 when my son was born. I had my time to be a single lady and enjoy my life but when Nicolas came along, it was all about him. Best of luck to you, and I will pray that God directs you to make the best decision for the baby and yourself. (Notice I put the baby first).

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