Advice on my child's situation

Katy - posted on 11/14/2009 ( 1 mom has responded )




My daughter is 11 1/2 months old. I left her father before I knew I was pregnant it happens the week I left him was the week I got pregnant. When I was 2m along I decided to tell him I was pregnant & of course she was HIS. He has a lot of issues that have gotten worse day by day and I feel he is bipolar although he wont seek help. Anyhow..He was mean & rude and I then decided I was going to be a single mother and me nor my child needed to go through that in life. I went through my entire pregnancy by myself, I had to leave my job @ 3m prego b/c I was highrisk and could not be on my feet for the long waitressing hours I was asked to be. I gave birth on Dec. 3rd of 2008 I had not talked to my daughter's father in months because he did nothing but stress me out and I didn't want that. He found out I had our daughter in a hospital near where he lives, he called till he got my room and asked if he could come see his daughter (The child he told me for the whole pregnancy was not his) I said only if my family or someone is here incase you decide to start trouble. My family showed up and he showed up to see her. he was shakey and nervous and soon after being there started in with "Is she really mine?" I then asked him to leave b/c after an emergency c-section and being in pain I didn't want to deal with him. So time goes on and it's now 11 months later, he took me for paternity and found out I was not lying she is his, I took him for child support and he took me for visitation. He has no clue how to be a father or dad, he don't know how to feed her or hold her or anything so I asked for supervised visits not only bc of that but he is aggressive and very violent towards me at times and I didn't want to take a chance in him running off with her and not coming back b/c we really do hate eachother. I feel like my parents are getting frustrated supervising visits but non of my family or friends will supervise b/c he is agressive, rude and so disrespectful. There is so much more I could say about how it's gone but I ended up getting an order of protection on him b/c he had done nothing but harass me for the past almost 2 years, since I got pregnant, So I took him to court and got an order of protection, he has gone against it 2x and was arrested but only hit with fines, NO jail time! I guess I'm wondering what I should do..My daughter cries with him, she don't know him, he don't know how to play with her so she's unhappy and any mother knows seeing your child go through stress or being uncomfortable is stressful & uncomfortable yourself. Do I move out of state to get away and so it can be just me and my daughter or do I go to court and take off the oop so I can supervise him with my child or do I leave things as they are and continue taking "Chill pills" bc it stresses me out so badly??? I really could use some advice on this one from other mom's.


[deleted account]

You can take him back to court and have the visits stopped. With my babys dad he isn't involved in anyway and hasn't since I got pregnant. If your daughter is like that with him you can take him back to court and have them end the visits because she's so unhappy and he can't comfort her. They usually will end the visits because they see it as her not being taken care of & meeting her needs. Good Luck! I know how hard of a situation it is.

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