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Advise on a semi-absent father?

Sara - posted on 07/31/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My son's dad hasnt been in his life at all he saw him when he was 2 weeks and then again when he was 7 months, and thats it. But I want my son to have his dad in his life in some way, but his father wants me back and nothing to do with his son. When he came over "to see his son" he didnt pay him any attention and just kept dropping hints about "us" getting back togerther. We havent been together since right after my son was concieved, and he flat out told me he didnt want any more children (he has a 5 year old daughter who he rarely sees and doesnt support). He isnt the most stable person, but he is my son's father and I dont want my son growing up not knowing who his father is, even if his father is a jerk. What should I do?

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Gretchen - posted on 08/01/2009

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12

I understand what you are going through completely. My son's father left me upon finding out that I was pregnant. He tried to convince me to have an abortion. But for me that was out of the question. He did not meet my son until I took him to court for child support. At the time my son was 6 months old. He even asked for a DNA test which bothered me but not because of the results but the fact that he thought I would put someone else's son off on him. He tries to use my son as a ploy to get back with me. I was willing to give it a try but he doesn't want to leave other women alone. I was willing to give it a try because of my son. I want so much for him to know his father because I grew up without my father. I met my father at the age of 17. My son has not seen his dab in the last 7 months, though he did call him a week ago for this birthday.

Candice - posted on 08/01/2009

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you can't make a man want to be involved with his son. getting back with him would mean your son growing up neglected by him anyway. just leave it alone. if he doesn't want to see his son, do the best you can to raise him with all the love you have. find other male role models to fill the gap in his life (a male friend, grandfather, uncle, whatever). better to grow up not knowing his father than living with a father that doesn't want you.

Candice - posted on 08/01/2009

1,721

18

you can't make a man want to be involved with his son. getting back with him would mean your son growing up neglected by him anyway. just leave it alone. if he doesn't want to see his son, do the best you can to raise him with all the love you have. find other male role models to fill the gap in his life (a male friend, grandfather, uncle, whatever). better to grow up not knowing his father than living with a father that doesn't want you.

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