Afraid of his dad

Teresa - posted on 06/01/2009

The court isn't always right though. The court temporarily took custody away from my nephew's mother and gave it to the man that beat her to a bloody pulp. All because she spanked him ONCE to keep him from running into the street. If people are lying about abuse, that is wrong, but who are you to say they are lying? You aren't in their shoes.



This isn't my situation, so your last comment isn't directed at me, but I find it EXTREMELY offensive since I was abandoned by my husband of 7.5 years when I was 8 months pregnant w/ my son. I would LOVE for my kids to have a dad, but he decided he hated me more than he loved them. :(

Triona - posted on 06/01/2009

sorry i was just looking at all the older posts that go along with your seemingly innocent question.you see court is there to look out for your children not your rights.if u all seem to want any excuse to keep ypur exes out of your lives i suggest you find quality birth control so that another child is brought into the world fatherless.and no i am not pro fathers i just cant stand to see people make up such utter bullshit

Triona - posted on 06/01/2009

why dont you look at breaking up the fortnight visit so that your son sees his father a bit of every week.my daughter is a year old and sees dad every saturday but only stays every 2nd saturday.its very important they bond with dad too and stopping visits will only make it harder later.my nearly four year old will act like he is dying every week when he has to attend daycare but when i stayed outside the door ten minutes later he was playing happily with his friends.

Teresa - posted on 06/01/2009

Honestly, w/ everything you've described I would not let my son alone w/ him. Period. I would not refuse visitation since that may make you look bad, but have it supervised by yourself or a 3rd party that you trust. Even if the court won't order supervised visits. I would have to be facing jail before I ever let anyone that I suspect of abuse near my kids w/out supervision. Good luck!

Andrea - posted on 06/01/2009

Yeah I know what you mean. I know that when I went through custody they asked if he ever lived with my son and I said no, cuz we haven't lived together since before he was born, so I am not sure if that will change the decision or not. But you want to list his faults without completely putting him down and what not. Make sure you are very polite to the judge. If you have questions about court you can ask me. But its up to you.

Amanda - posted on 06/01/2009

i'm in michigan. yeah we lived together until she was 10 months old and he didn't work the entire time. I worked and went to school full time and took care of her. he is pretty much useless and i want him to just go away. she has enough people in her life that care about her she really doesn't need him. it's very helpful to talk to someone who is kinda going through the same thing

Andrea - posted on 06/01/2009

It might, but not necessarily, thats what I thought also. But I hope everything goes well for you. Just make sure that you document everything. Even the texts to you, days and time. And then when you go to court make sure that the judge has copies of everything. Document even if you don't think it is worth documenting. And as far as the child support, they will probably order that he starts paying. Has he ever lived with you and your daughter? Just make sure that when you are at court that you don't talk to him, because then it looks suspicious and I wouldn't talk to him unless its about your daughter. Because he could end up through it back in your face some how. Yeah my son's father takes my son every other weekend and the minute he drops him off is the minute the "dad switch" is turned off. He also doesn't call or anything. I just want him out of the picture. What are you asking the court for? For him to have visitation? or to just pay child support and never see her? I would ask that he goes through an anger management class and if he hasn't really dealt with your daughter I would make him go through a parenting class. Hopefully I am helping a little, I know how hard and frustrating it can be. What state do you live in?

Amanda - posted on 06/01/2009

yeah she had an MRI and an EEG but everything came back normal. We are in the process of going through court and he hasn't seen her since March. He hasn't paid a dime of child support and he never calls to ask about her. He just sends me random text messages telling me he still loves me. It's never been about my daughter it's just about what he wants. I'm hoping when we go to court the fact that he has done nothing for his daughter will work in my favor

Andrea - posted on 06/01/2009

Yeah I took him for court for bruising and the judge told me that I was lying because he asked his father if he did it and his father said no. But I have documentation on how my son comes back and I gave that to the judge also and it was almost like he didn't read it or anything because my son has come back with clothes wet in urine even when it was below zero out and my son freaks out when he sees certain black people and when he sees gold cars, (his father is black and drives a gold car). And the judge told me that I didn't have anything on him. So they dropped it but someone that I had talked with said that I probably have enough on him to take him to family court so I think I am going to see if I can find a very cheap but reliable attorney to represent me because it is way to much to put my son through and I hate the gut wrenching pain I get when I send him. I am sorry to hear about your daughter that it definitely not good. I hope you documented everything and have picutres, if not make sure you start. And if you can go to the ER to have her checked out so they can document it. Cuz otherwise its your word against his.

Amanda - posted on 06/01/2009

my daughter had many marks throughout the first year of her life and i never thought anything of it and then one day i walked into the living room and found him hitting her in the head. go wih your instincts because if you think something is going on then it probably is. sometimes it feels like even the courts arent on our side doesn't it

Holly - posted on 06/01/2009

I would ask him why is he so affried of him ?or if you know .does he yell or scream or have a temper ?im not sure there could be multiple things .they say that is a sign when you rchild cries when you leave them ...does he have any brussing or acting weired ?you could i guess for get to put diapers or a blanket or his favorite thing and call a cupple hours later or just stop by and say oh ,sorry i forget this and see how things are going ?or onthe other good hand may be he just misses his mom ...when he gets older he will be able to tell u good luck deer .iam not sure were you live call child pertective services out dont say any thing just what you know and when he is going to be there and dont give your name ,when he goes take pitchers just cover up privets ,and when he comes home take more if there is bruzzing also if you think there is abuse call the police rite away and take to hosipital ....i would call an attorney as well ...keep on fighting for your child

Andrea - posted on 06/01/2009

I have full physical custody he just has visitation. So I have to figure out what my next step has to be to keep him out of his life. Thanks good luck with court

Amanda - posted on 06/01/2009

I'm sort of going through the same thing rightnow with my daughter. I have decided that she shouldn't see him anymore until we go to court and get custody figured out. Babies are very perseptive and maybe his father has hurt him and that is why he is scared. If were you i would get a lawyer and file for custody.

Andrea - posted on 05/30/2009

We have tried the supervised visitation but his dad didn't do anything I had to do it all. So I think my best bet is to try and get him completely out

Andrea - posted on 05/30/2009

Thanks, Well, my son came home with two bruises a month ago and I took him to court about child abuse and the judge dismissed it. But there is definitely something going on . I just have to figure it out. Thanks.

Ashley - posted on 05/30/2009

Maybe you could try having your babies father over or even just a day in the park with the three of you so your son can get to know his father with you around then try the leaving them alone part

Connie - posted on 05/30/2009

Are you aware of any kind of abuse going on? Is his father a decent person or did he treat you badly and is possibly treating your son bad? Children don't lie and this is certainly coming from somewhere. It could also be because he has a stronger bond with you because he is with you most of the time and because a mother is always more nuturing than the father in most cases. It is heart wrenching I know to have to witness this. I hope things get better for you.