Amanda - posted on 02/13/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )
So I have just left my daughter's abusive alcoholic father and I have this other ex that was before him with whom I owned a home that wants me to move in with him for free. I know that financially my daughter may have a better life and this man is not abusive, but it didn't work before and he never wanted kids, so why would it work now? I almost want to jump in, but I am not. I am getting my own place with her and even though I know financially it will be difficult, I'd rather that than carry her in and out of live in situations that don't end up working out. I'd rather her feel stable with me and the men in her life that will never leave her, like her grandfathers than be financially wealthy. I'll even probably have to accept some form of state assistance since her father is now in jail and won't be paying child support. Right now I have full custody, but I know someday he may be doing better and get granted visitations, but although I hope not I'm sure he'll fall off the wagon. So with that huge variable in her life I really don't want to add anymore. I am willing to give up live in relationships unless WE someday fall head over heals for someone and I know it will last. The only constant in her life I can provide is me, and I hope someday she'll grow up knowing I did my very best and had fun even without a ton of money. I also need everyone to tell me to never go back to the shitbag either, because as much as I hate him for all he's done I still find myself blaming the alcohol and hoping he'll change. I hope to have the strength to say "Too LATE" even if he does. Just looking for thoughts and advice. Thank yyou all.