Any advice for expectant single mother? ( 5 months pregnant, cheating boyfriend expecting another baby)

Michelle - posted on 05/14/2012

Welp, hopefully all went well with Delivery as I see you were due last month and Congrats! But if while you were pregnant and you feel like I do then a "Congrats" isn't as joyous as it should be. I found out very very early in my pregnancy that my bf cheated with his ex only 3 days after I told him I was pregnant and yes, she got pregnant and is due merely two weeks after me. I struggle with this EVERYDAY. Granted he indeed has shown me what a mistake it was and has provided for me and his unborn child very well but I cannot get over this and don't know what to do. And this ex of course is soooo happy she got pregnant cause all shes ever wanted is my bf back and now she will have a piece of him forever, just like i will have to have her in my life forever and that disgusts me. I honestly do not wish to have any association with her or their child, that she is soo happy to name the baby a name my bf told her a long time ago if he ever had a baby he wanted to name. Shes delusional and I'm so cold on the subject i dont even want my child to know her or her child even though they will be siblings.

Whew! So yes, I understand the feelings you may be going through and as you can see I too need advice as well.

Emily - posted on 05/10/2012

I'm in the same situation (until I found out the father is a registered sex offender) he was sleeping in the same bed with another girl while I was at work and my roomates told me. He cheated on me before and told me he stupid lies said he'd never do it again. My advice is dump him, it will hurt but to distract you from the loneliness, spend more time with your family and be happy for the baby's sake, be happy you are have some good coming from the relationship. women are so independent these days we do not need a man to survive.

Expectant - posted on 02/03/2012

Tell me about it! Of course I'd like to keep in touch with you. Sometimes I really need to talk to someone but umm it's not easy talking about something like this. Only people that have been through it would really understand.

NICKI - posted on 02/03/2012

YOU ARE RIGHT!!! :-D



I hope this isn't weird but I would like to keep in touch with you!!! So please whether it's on here or wherever...support is always needed!!! I would love to be some support for you!!!

Expectant - posted on 02/03/2012

Ahhh! I think we're both crazy because that's the puzzled look I get from the people that know about this 'situation.' LOL I guess I'm letting everything unfold and fall into place if at the end I don't like the way things turn out and if things don't get better,, as hard as it may be I'm gonna have to let go. Not just for my well being but for my baby's as well. I wouldn't want him to be in between all this mess. :/ && like you said maybe we're better off and happier separated.

NICKI - posted on 02/03/2012

That is exactly how I felt at that time, It isn't nice that you have to deal with these same things but it is nice to know that I am not crazy for feeling the way that I have! Either that or we are both crazy! lol



You will have to share for the rest of your life and so will your child, it all boils down to whether or not your partner is willing to make you and your child and the family y'all are trying to build as his TOP priority. Remember though that actions speak louder than words soooo...he says he wants you and only you and you and your child is his priority but...where is his mind? Your child will notice that... all of our family events were overshadowed by, "I wish that Bry (the other child) was here..." and that always put a damper on everything because WHY...WHY CAN YOU NOT JUST BE SATISFIED WITH YOUR CHILD THAT IS HERE FOR THIS MOMENT... be prepared and know your worth as well as the importance of your child being first. I hope and pray that it gets better for you!

Expectant - posted on 02/02/2012

Everything you're telling me sounds a bit familiar and that's because the babies aren't even born yet. She's always texting him and asking him for money, he gives her money when he can but it sucks because she doesn't work and I work so we won't be struggling later on. However, it's not even about the money it's the fact that I feel like he does more for her than for me and that's because I'm with him and we're a couple. It just doesn't make sense at times and it has been very difficult. It's as if I'm gonna have to share 'him' with her for the rest of my life and at times I feel like it's not gonna enough... I don't know how much longer I can put up with this situation :/

NICKI - posted on 02/02/2012

You are telling me my story all over again, I have a son that will be 2 on April 27th; I went through the same thing that you did...I found out I was pregnant at 3 months and he confessed to me about 2 weeks after I found out that he had cheated and everything else in your story is the same...except April 9th before my son was bored I ignored my better judgement and I married my son's father. Now we are approaching our 2 year anniversary and my son's second birthday but the only thing that we are approaching together is our court date for divorce. It didn't get better, he swore up and down that he wanted only us and only our family and I had even went as far as to represent him legally to get him the rights to the other child during the time that we were married only to find out that he had been dishonest the entire time. There were phone calls and texts and even transfers to her bank account... At this point we have been separated for almost 5 months and he has done nothing for my son other than 2 boxes of diapers and 1 week of daycare (90$); on the other hand he makes sure that he sends his outside child $280 a month to sustain him and his mother. When your baby does finally get here your world will change, the best thing to remember is that there is not going to be anyone else in this world that will love that child like you and you are the only one that can be responsible for making sure that child's needs are met emotionally, physically, and in every other way possible... I hope and pray that your child's father turns out to be an exception to the rest but the best thing I can say is learn not to expect anything more from him than he has already given you. He has proven just how far he is willing to go so don't set yourself up for failure. It is possible to be a single mom and be happier than you ever were before even with his father. It is hard at times...I have my moments when I want to call my ex and just 'go home' but in the long run my child does not deserve to be put last behind everything else in anyone's life...especially his daddy's.

Eroleen - posted on 12/08/2011

im kinda in the same situation but i left my boyfriend yesturday!!! there is no reason to get a innocent baby invovled in too much drama. you may love your bf but sometimes u have to think of the child first. good luck

Ryan - posted on 12/04/2011

Once you lay eyes on your little ones all of this will be insignificant. Your number one priority will be clear once he arrives. Be sure to ask for help and be clear about what you need from the people there to support you! Good luck! You are strong...you will be great!

Renee - posted on 12/03/2011

call your girlfriends and family to vent when you need to, ask for help when you need it especially when they baby is born. but you are already strong because you have made the choice to leave. it is very sad, but no because of anything you did. i would just focus on enjoying the rest of your pregnancy, try to relax when you can. dont let his bad choices distract you from your perfect baby.

Brittany - posted on 12/01/2011

Do what you think is best for you and your little boy! Keep your chin up! And even though he cheated and caused you pain at least he blessed you with the greatest gift you will ever receive! :)