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Baby daddy has been MIA for 3 months... Now he wants to see my son.

Sabrina - posted on 04/13/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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After hitting him hard with child support he wants back in my son's life. How can I trust that he will treat me with respect and be a full time dad if every chance I give him, he blows it. How many chances is a dad allowed, and should it just be a phone call and text, or should he prove more that he is worthy enough to let back into our lives? And I am not speaking of us continuing a relationship, he has a new baby with the woman he cheated on me with, besides that he is abusive, and is still hitting his current girlfriend. He owes me back childsupport of more than 1000 dollars and just paid 120 last month to save his drivers license. This is a man who weasels his way into my life to get what he wants, usually steals from me, thrills to see my heart break, roof over his head, validation for living. In fact the last time he did see my kid he spent the entire time following me around and even had the audacity to yell at my kid for throwing a toy at him. I want to draw a line, he has to respect me and be a normal caring full time dad to be in my sons life. My son doesnt even want to talk to him, he is just four but he already has an opinion of his dad. I have to be protective in this right? Just because he is the biological dad doesnt mean that he can act however he wants and get what he wants. I am the boss in this situation and if he doesnt act right...

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Sabrina - posted on 04/16/2012

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I guess I left that part out. I already took him to court. He lost all his rights. I left out alot of details. So either he goes to supervised visiting or we do this on the side, but it is all at my descretion.

Cheryl - posted on 04/14/2012

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If he really wants to see him let him make the effort to go to court for visitation. Then if theres a court order he has to abide by it not on his terms.

Michelle - posted on 04/14/2012

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the reality is if he takes you to court he will get access as it has nothing to do with how you feel about the dad it is your sons right to see his father. Yes your son may not want to see his dad but could he be picking up on your feelings toward the man and that is why? I would try and work something out with dad that can work for everyone and allow your son an opportunity to bond with the man. As if you withhold access from the dad and then he takes you to court some courts will give custody to dad to help them better form a bond with the child and you could lose your son. So please put aside your animosity and let them form whatever bond they can. As for the visits the man should be seeing your child outside your home and without you there, so should not be able to steal from you and or cause you any grief. When my son was 4 I had a hard time even speaking with his dad as everything was a fight so we started a communication book where I wrote about my sons week and they told me how his weekend went worked for quite some time until we started to be able to communicate like adults.

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