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Biological father vs. him

CLARISSA - posted on 05/05/2010 ( 11 moms have responded )

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I have a four-month old daughter, and I know one day, eventually, I will date again. I read some of the post about dating and other situation involving introducing your child(ren) to your new beau. Most of the post suggest that if he is willing to be a father let him, just tell your child(ren) about there "real" father.

I wanted to know, other than DNA, is there a difference between a "real," biologcial father and a man who is there physically, emotionally, financially, mentally, etc?
I ask because I see a lot of post that say, "he can never replace your "real" father, even though he may be doing the fatherly duties that a child's "real" father is supposed to do? Do you think it's contradictory?

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11 Comments

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Elisabeth - posted on 06/02/2010

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Besides the DNA, there is no differance. My husband has 'taken the place' of the 'real' father. My daughter is now two and a half and she has never met her DNA father, but her daddy (the man who has always been there for her and raised her as his own) has known her since she was 3 months old. You would never beleive they weren't related by blood if you saw them together, she even shares his last name. Some people might find it hard to beleive that a child and unrelated man can share a relationship like father and daughter/son unless they have been in a situation where the DNA father is not a part of the childs life at all, it might be differant if the father is still largely involved in the childs life though, but I'm sure it will all sort itself out.

Vanessa - posted on 06/02/2010

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I'm in the middle. Off the top, I would say The Dad is the one who's there everyday. However, case in point: When I met "unseen and unknown" relatives, it was amazing all the things that we had in common. The same laugh. The same creativity. The same resilience. The same characteristics. Was all this programmed in the genes? Overall, I think nobody is all good or all bad. So why not expose your child to the good in everyone both related and not? I definitely feel a child should know and spend time with their birth parent irregardless of child support. I also don't believe in limiting involvement based on how often I think the other parent should visit.

Kimberly - posted on 06/02/2010

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With an older child, maybe, Anyone can be a father, but if a non-biological father is stepping up to the plate, then he is a daddy.
I loved my biological dad with all of my heart, but my mom's 1st husband was my pop and was the best dad ever! He took me in when I was 16. My dad was my mom's second husband.

Michelle - posted on 06/01/2010

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My son sees both his real father and his step dad who lives with us, his dad misses all his stuff and doesn't make an effort to support his child in his activities or choices, his step dad however comes to every concert, every dance recital and every other activity my son does he is extremely supportive and is in my mind my sons dad....He has a biological father but he also has a dad....the biology doesn't really mean anything because if it did then children who are adopted would not thrive in society it is the love they receive that is most important.

La-Tricia - posted on 05/25/2010

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The father is the one who takes him 2 the barber shop, a father is the one who'll get up early 2 take his son 2 school, the father is the one who takes the time 2 play with his child, the father is the one who'll be there when u say u have a tummy ach, no matter what time it is... bio or not

Lyneeda - posted on 05/25/2010

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if your biological father was'nt there in the first place how can you consider him a"real father"seeing is believing. and believing is seeing i would'nt know my father if i never seen him.my donor was'nt around! my moms husband is my father an i don't care what society say he is my real father the man who aided in raising a responsible remarkable woman.

Tuesdae - posted on 05/14/2010

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I actually call my daughters dad her sperm donor(not to her she is only five months old)...and the guy I am with really wants to adopt her and be around so as far as I'm concerned I'v got love and respect for anyone who is good to my child!!!

Reece - posted on 05/08/2010

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No parent is technically replacable, But love does fill many voids. It's not that they need a replacement parent, but a LOVING parent. Love heals most things and fills empty places.

Serene - posted on 05/07/2010

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I have to agree with Gianinna and Candice a sperm donor doesn't make you a "father." A 'real father' is someone that is there for them supportive, financially and loves your child. I know that it is probably mean but i would never tell my daughter/son about there sperm donor until they were 9 or 10 years old. Old enough to understand why he wasn't around.

Gianinna - posted on 05/05/2010

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I agree with Candice. Getting your pregnant doesnt make him a "father" Yea he might have his looks and traits ect but that doesnt make him a father. A father is a man that is there for your child, provides for him/her helps raise your child loves your child as his own. If the biological is not doing anything to be in your chils life then that is not a father that is just another sperm donor.

Candice - posted on 05/05/2010

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i actually disagree with that totally. i think the REAL father is the one who puts in the time. just because a child has a man's DNA doesn't make the man a father, it makes him a sperm donor.

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