Jennifer - posted on 11/12/2009 ( 14 moms have responded )
Okay this is really nothing to do with my son directly but because I have been in a relationship for a year with this guy it does affect my son so here goes:
I have been with this guy for a year. He is 27 and still lives with his mom. It bothers me not that he went through a time where he needed to, but that he isn't really making alot of plans to move on from there. We live about 40 miles apart and instead of making plans to move on his own and better himself as a man, he is contemplating taking a free apartment where his parents live... I have plans to go on to college and move away from where I am at and I am scared that he will just try to swing on my coat tails and never learn the responsibility for himself. Not only that but he doesn't tell his mom and sister when we are together on dates and they call... this seems strange to me. I encourage strong relationships with your parents.. but its starting to feel unhealthy to me. I am also noticing some other signs that he may be unhealthy. Like: He never goes out of his way to come see me.. only if he is in town. 2) he never tells me about things his friends want me to go to until he is already there and I being a mom cannot just pick up and go.. it kind of makes me feel like he is keeping me away from his life somehow 3) when I went to go see his mom for the first time she took out pictures of his ex girlfriends and was like "oh do you remember her? you too were so close.. what ever happened to her? I have a deep sensing that he is playing some weird manipulative game with me. I have never been in a relationship this long and I'm starting to mistrust him and the things he says and does. I feel like he is playing some game with mommy to create some drama or get some weird ego boost or something. Something isn't quite right with this and I can't put my finger on it. I need some outside opinions as I am in the inside and that can be blinding at times!! HELP!! I don't want my son to be around the wrong guy!! oh yeah and he says he loves me but thats it! there is no more to it. No romance, I have to tell him how to love me and I am exhausted!!! I tell him and he still claims he needs to think about it... I have been keeping my distance from him lately and still making plans to go on but am I crazy? I have never been too jealous and happy and I am strong.. just he makes me feel crazy sometimes and I don't like the way he makes me feel... so... am I crazy?