can he sign away his rights?

MeeShell - posted on 02/23/2010 ( 70 moms have responded )

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im expecting and my babys father says soon as he can..hes signing off his rights "to dissown it". ive heard he CANT unless i agree. but even he does..would he still pay child support?

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Katherine - posted on 09/09/2013

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I don't know where everyone else's wrong ideas came from, but yes, the father of the child CAN sign away his parental rights voluntarily. If he does he is no longer under any obligation to pay support and he is not legally entitled to have any contact with the child. No one needs to be "in line" to adopt and you have no legal say in whether or not they can. My ex did this.

Robin - posted on 02/28/2010

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I find it very hard to believe that a father could just sign away his rights and not have to pay child support. If it were that easy, there would be more of them out there signing away rights to avoid child support.

Lisa - posted on 02/24/2010

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I live in Ohio and my sons sperm donor wanted to sign his rights away too. I contacted a lawyer because I was more than willing to allow him to do it simply becuase it's best for my son. However I was informed that if you arent married to the father he HAS no rights but is required to pay childsupport and spilt medical cost. The only way he can sign his rights away is if You are married and your husband wants to do a stepparent adoption, you agree all agree to that and the judge agrees to it. In the end it's the judges final decsion but he wont allow him to sign his rights away unless your married and that man is stepping up to be the adoptive father of the child.

Irina - posted on 03/01/2010

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I think the only way to do it is if you have someone who wants to adopt the child (ie. step-father). That's how it is in NJ, where I live. You can get a court order for child support but that doesn't guarantee you'll see any money. If he doesn't work or get unemployment or disability, they will have no paycheck to garnish. Eventually, they will put out a warrant for his arrest if his arrears get high enough and eventually take away his drivers license, if he has one. If he's "unfit" he may be denied visitation or get supervised visitation but will still be ordered to pay child support. MeeShell, it's probably not my place to say this but since I know first hand what you're going through and the emotional rollercoaster you're on, I'm going to say it anyway! He's not worth it! I know you're angry and hurt and every other emotion out there but this time with your baby goes so fast and if you spend this time concentrating on what the "father" is not doing instead of concentrating on what a great mom you are, you will regret it later. I know because I've been there. I know this is sad to say but some kids are just better off without that other parent. I know my daughter is! She'll be 2 tomorrow and I refuse to waste a minute on dwelling on what her other "parent" is not doing. It's his loss! It did take me a while to get to this point but it sure feels good once you get here! :) Be the best mother you can be to your kids. It's not always easy but it's always worth it. You'll be a stronger, smarter woman when all is said and done.

Cassandra - posted on 06/25/2013

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My daughter is 7 and her so called "dad" has never been involved, not once...I recently filed child support (need the help) and he refuses to pay. I would really like him to sign over any and all legal rights so we have no ties together. He doesn't call or visit. Never has. Is this possible? How do I do it? We live in the state of Texas.

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Keshia - posted on 04/30/2014

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I don't think he can not whiles your pregnant
Anyway. And when you finally have the baby
I hear that even then unless you agree to it
He can't .

Jacqueline - posted on 04/29/2014

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I need help!! My daughter is two years old and her "sperm doner" has never been in her life and met her one time when she was two weeks old. Me and her have been with a wonderful man for two years now. We have talked about after marriage adoption. I dont think my "sperm doner" has any rights seeing as he has never seen her nor paid a dime. I am not to sure what I need to do?

Miss-Delilah - posted on 02/19/2014

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AGREE. Unless you got Tens of thousands to blow on a custody battle. Worst case scenario, he changes his mind and you can grant him shared custody later

Child Support? Its not worth the hassle. Just tell him you don't want any money from him.... You can always change your mind later and pull him into court....see a lawyer before considering collecting child support

Marie - posted on 02/03/2014

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Hi, I need help! Please do not judge!! No ride comments need help.. Thanks in advance...
I'm pregnant, and don't know know who is the baby's daddy? So I want to know if the person who I think is the daddy.. Can give his right of being the father? Before or after the baby is born? Help!

Jessica - posted on 01/08/2014

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In reply to Katherine, your ex must have of had a good lawyer. Or your state allows it. In my state, TN, men are not allowed to sign their rights away, they can petition the courts to do so, but it never happens. Unless they have a kickass attorney.

Triona - posted on 08/01/2013

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No, he cannot. Further, in my state (Oregon) even if you were to agree, he can't sign away his rights unless there is another male in line to adopt your child at the same time. "But", if you aren't married he'll either have to sign a voluntary affidavit of paternity, or have a paternity test. If you need a paternity test, and he refuses willing participation, the child support agency in your area will issue an order for him to appear for it. If he fails to appear, they can issue a warrant and send a officer to pick him up for testing.

Char - posted on 02/17/2013

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No, that is not a "legit" reason to not fulfill his responsibility. He can sign off on visitation, but he can NOT sign off on his legal responsibility to his child. You may need to file a paternity case, but the court can/will order that.

Caylynn - posted on 09/18/2012

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still pay child support cannot sign away rights unless your bf or hubby is like a step parent that wants to adopt or every guy would do this he is the father regardless until you found a good new man that wants to be the new adopted legal father then if you and that person broke that new father would be responsible for all financial

Bekah - posted on 09/13/2012

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He can relinquish his rights but he cannot relinquish his responsibility without your agreement ... the law is very clear on that!

Good luck.

Frilin - posted on 06/18/2012

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Yes, unless the relinquishment is to clear the way for an adoption, in which someone else accepts the rights and responsibilities, he has to pay child support.

Melissa - posted on 06/18/2012

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if he signed away his rights, he can demand all he wants. Legally he will not get it

Melissa - posted on 06/18/2012

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In Canada, If you receive sole custody he has no rights but still has to pay because he made that baby. Even if he signs the child over and relinquishes all rights he has to pay. I hope its the same there. Is there a legal advice service out there that is free or less costly? And I'm sorry. :( That is awful he said that to you (( HUGS))

Janie Marie - posted on 06/18/2012

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If he signs all parental rights over to you BEFORE a child support order has been made, then YES he can sign over his rights and NO he will not have to pay child support.

Kelley - posted on 06/15/2012

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He is a fool...It has to be done through Probate court and has to be agreed to by you. Also, this has nothing to do with him paying child support as that is a completely different court and matter. If you agree to release him of parental responsibility, he will most likely still be held financially responsible through the courts until the child is 18. I speak from experience.

ANISHA - posted on 06/12/2012

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im not sure if he will still have to support the child but i do know that he can sign away his rights.. maybe you should consult a lawyer.

Holly - posted on 06/11/2012

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This is a big decision cuz this guy could come back some day just cuz he is giving you a bit of money and demand all kinds of things! I wish my daughters father would sign his rights away instead of screwing with mine and her heads! It is horrid for a child to feel they have been abandand thou. You have th think of the character of this guy and what the future holds not of the money.

Threenorns - posted on 06/10/2012

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you do not have to put him on the birth certificate. if he's not on the birth certificate, he has no rights - he will not have the right to visit the child but you won't be getting any child support, either.

Tori - posted on 06/09/2012

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Every state is different, but due to welfare reform laws, anytime the mother receives state money (medicaid, food stamps, etc) the state will not allow the father to skate on tax payers dimes. They will pursue child support from a parent rather than let the state foot the bill. And that is with or without the mother's consent or assistance, although if she refused to help she can be denied benefits.

Marcy - posted on 05/17/2012

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I think they can give their rights away but if it is not mutual on both parties then I would imagine he would still have to pay child support. He helped create the child and just because he does not want the child does not mean he will not have to be responsible. I know in my state many lawyers will give you a few minutes on the phone to explain the situation and give you some basic advice on the laws and such. Maybe try that.

[deleted account]

In the UK, I think the father of the child does not have full parental rights if a) he wasn't married to the mother of the child, if born before 2004 (I think was the year) and b) isn't on the birth certificate. If he was married to the mother at the time of the child's birth then he has parental rights (unless proven that he's not the biological father. After about 2004, the father doesn't have to be married to the mother to get parental rights. I think that's right.

Certainly to sign away parental rights, there would have to be good reason for the parent to agree to it - regardless of which parent. I think it is hard to sign away parental rights and only be done in exceptional cases and through court.

My ex husband has parental rights, but chooses not to use them. The only things he's got is the school reports for my girls for a few years and that's it. I have had some child maintenance from him, but currently he's avoiding paying it, by the looks of it he's being paid cash in hand for work so no paper trail for Child Support Agency to find (in the UK) at the moment.

At the end of the day, find out what the rules are where you live and also remember that your child has the right to know who his father is, even if there is no or little contact. Plus there is the moral responsibility that your child's father should be contributing towards the upkeep of your child, regardless of whether or not he wants to acknowledge the child.

Deb - posted on 05/14/2012

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It really does depend on state/local law in your area. I have heard that some places won't let her unless there is another male (like your getting married & he will adopte your child) is willing to take on raising this child in every way. I would check a with a local lawyer/courts. Good luck

Cheraki - posted on 05/07/2012

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Some states all he has to do is go to the child support office or either petition the courts go in front of a judge and sign his rights over. However in most states even if he does sign his rights over he is still responsible for paying child support. Personally if he didn't want nothing to do with a child he helped make then that would be his loss and I wouldn't let him see anything pics, the child nothing that had to do with the child. Nor would he be allowed around my child.

Good Luck to you

Kendra - posted on 11/27/2011

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Take him a lawyer and have him sign his rights away before the baby is even born. You do not want a custody battle after the child is born.

Katherine - posted on 11/27/2011

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I feel it depends on your state adn you can look up the laws pertaining to this issue. My husband likes to look up state laws n stuff pertaining to his son's mother. ANd the child support thing. Sorry I honestly dont think so. From what I understand , by signing away with your rights to a child you are no longer bound by any mean to that child. However I would certainly look into and get the right answers. I only am familiar with Nevada's laws. You can contact a lawyer and get answers too

Judy - posted on 11/26/2011

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Yes I have heard of that but I was also informed even though he signs off his rights its still his to pay child support. The child deserves to to have child support paid. After all he was enjoying the pleasure of making the baby. Its so sad to think that the only reason they don't want to pay child supportvis because of the money. Good luck-and remember it is his responsibility no matter what to support your child.

Liz - posted on 11/20/2011

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Never heard of that here in the UK don't think you can unless hes not the dad. But thats not the case here so try looking online

Barbara - posted on 11/19/2011

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To my knowledge, no man can just up and sign their rights away. Exceptions to the rule he demands a paternity test and is not a match. Another exception is if the man is not a citizen of this country, then he can denounce the child and return to his country, the third involves a life sentence to prison and it is iffy but the only possible situation in which he can denounce paternity if the DNA is a match. Now can you make someone pay child support even if the law declares it be so, not really. Men have figured out ways to hide from check garnishment and even jail.

Kierre - posted on 08/22/2011

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In California the rights" were signed away on my niece and her 'absent parent' had to repay child support payments when the state took over her care, Even when a person does not care to have rights over their children does not mean they do not have to pay to raise them to age 18. (that would require DNA testing and county involvement)
Me on the other hand have been fighting for full custody for over 10 years ( in and out of court, mental and physical abuse to me and my son)and he pays child support only when he feels like it, which is not often since the courts took away his visitation 2 years ago .Even with the court order in place to pay, he waits for them to threaten him with legal action, like suspending his DL, before making some kind of payment BUT when he is legally employed his paychecks are garnished automatically so there is an up side in some cases. Good Luck and know that you are not alone :)

Jennifer - posted on 08/15/2011

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SAD!!! If he is on the birth certificate.. nope. Unless a blood test finds him to not be the father. Its so sad that these guys can do this so readily.. really.. every other post on here is about fathers who are bailing on kids. wow!! I so appreciate the fathers who stay by their children no matter what the cost. I never asked my son"s father for anything. In our state in order to get health insurance you have to have a court order for child support. So I did. we have barely seen anything in 7 years and the very small contact with his dad has just been a heart break for my son. I know my kids" father said alot about me when I was pregnant.. like I got pregnant on purpose and I wanted to keep him.. that is so hurtful as it shows he was never really paying attention to who I was when we were close for the whole year. I sense this alot in men.. disconnection to family and relationships and its so hard.. I know there are women out there that do try to manipulate but I was not one of them.. but I did go on without him.. and though there are some that think I am messed up or crazy or a liar.. I know the truth.. Man!! I just get so heart sick lately over this and after a recent relationship I have realized that I must not compromise love. The guy has to love me and my son.. I even know better how to know that now. Can I ask you a question: Why would you want a guy around who is so obvious that he doesn"t want to be there? I never pursue my son"s father and let the state take care of it or whatever.. because I just cannot waste my time chasing someone who expresses nothing to me that he has an interest in our son. Its sad.. the guy is missing out. Its guys like this that make great dads who love their kids look bad.. is there anyone out there who CARES about each other anymore? *sigh* I say let him go. YOu can do it without him.. but in the end that is your choice.

Lisa - posted on 08/14/2011

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YOU WOULD GET NO CHILD SUPPORT AT ALL IF HE WOULD SIGN OFF HIS RIGHTS EVERYTHING WOULD BE ON YOU BUT IF YOU ARE DOING THAT ANYWAYS THE ONLY THING YOU WILL MISS IS THE MONEY YOU COULD DO WHAT EVER YOU WANT WITH BABY AND HE WOULD NOT HAVE A SAY SO AT ALL

Charleen - posted on 08/13/2011

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Casey,
I have been dealing with the family court system for years and my husband has tried terminating his rights to his daughter so that all arguments stop and it will be better for the child with both parents agreeing she will have a more peaceful life and the judge wont allow it to happen the law typically states that if the parent presents substantial physical or mental harm or disturbance towards the child the court may find in the best interest of the child to terminate father/mother parental rights however this usually happens if the father or mother is heavily involved with drugs constantly in and out of child's life because that is unstable in and out of foster care/jail or someone will assume parental responsibility in place of the biological parent. It rarely comes down to a parent wanting to terminate their rights and the judge actually granting it unless like I said before they are signing consent for adoption if he doesnt want to be in the baby's life go to the court and get sole legal and physical custody an order for child support and he will not come to see the baby or have any legal say he just pays pretty much is all he can do if he finds out you are giving your child vitamin c everyday and he doesnt like it then he cant do anything about it however if you give him joint custody and not retain sole legal and physical for yourself then he can take you to court over vitamin c and the judge can say hey you need to stop doin this or you will be held in contempt or you will be granted to keep giving the vitamin. believe me there are things people take to court that you wouldnt believe over phone calls or the color the nails are painted. good luck

Kelly - posted on 08/10/2011

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they just wont let him sign his rights away. that would leave a child with no parents if something were to happen. if you dont want him in your life or your childs. then dont tell him anything about the baby. dont put his name on any paper work. live and enjoy life. im divorced and have trouble collecting child support and he demands visition. leaving him out of the equation will make your life easier. it will be rough, their will be times you will want to give up. But it is all worth it. you will see the first of everything. and the smiles and giggles and sleepless nights pay off in the end. having a court order for child support wont make him a dad. hang in their. find support within your friends and family.

Danielle - posted on 08/09/2011

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I know for the states of TX and AR if the non custodial parent does not have or make contact with the child for 365 days, you can request that his parental rights be revoked, however it does NOT negate his obligation for child support...Lets say u don't have his name listed on the birth certificate, some social services will not be offered to you if u do not establish paternity... Look at it this way, if he's allowed to sign over his rights, ur child becomes a ward of the state... when was the last time u heard of the state of anywhere wanting more children?? If he doesn't want to have anything to do with ur baby, fine tell him to kick rocks and keep it moving but understand if someone comes along and wishes to adopt ur child, ur gonna have to find the butt hole and req that he agrees to relinquish his rights inorder for ur kids to have a real dad....

Casey - posted on 08/08/2011

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He can in the state I live in. Ive seen rights get taken by the judge and Ive seen parents just sign their rights away. If he does then he has no right and pretty much isnt a father anymore in the laws eyes. Its kinda messed up but make sure he knows that this isnt reversable and you cant get them back once they are gone. Im sorry your dealing with this now or ever. Good Luck

Charleen - posted on 08/06/2011

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you can petition the court for soul physical and legal custody of the child he sounds like he would agree so try to do a joint agreement of that and then go to the District Attorney and get child support if he doesnt want to be a part tell him giving you sould p and l custody will leave him without responsibility for the child but forget to tell him that still makes him financially responsible

Bev - posted on 07/31/2011

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do a google search....it seems that it can be done in every state just different ways to do it and it can be done before the baby is born with no acknowledgement of paternity...

Heidi - posted on 07/26/2011

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I have a 3 month old baby girl...who's father has been so wish washy with the being involved thing. I'm in Maine, he's in NH and he CAN NOT terminate his rights just because he's excuse was 'he doesn't want to deal with me'....he was told, and i was told (b/c i was down for it) if i was married and my husband wanted to do the stepparent adoption thing (which when the father heard about that...he's whole tune changed!!) If a man could just terminate his father rights, it would be happening left and right....it would be an easy way out for all those 'deadbeat' fathers. You lay down and make that baby, you gonna have some kind of respondsibility!

Whitney - posted on 07/25/2011

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Im going through a divorce from a man that signed his rights over to a son from his first marriage so the new husband could adopt him and im trying to get him to give up our son because hes abusive but I have no one to adopt him, I dont want child support I just dont want my 1yr old to be alone with him. I dont know if its possible in tx

Whitney - posted on 07/25/2011

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Im going through a divorce from a man that signed his rights over to a son from his first marriage so the new husband could adopt him and im trying to get him to give up our son because hes abusive but I have no one to adopt him, I dont want child support I just dont want my 1yr old to be alone with him. I dont know if its possible in tx

Mia - posted on 03/02/2010

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It really depends on what state you live in. You need to talk to a family law attorney to find out about the rights in your state. I know in my state, the father can sign his rights away, but I would have to agree to it, and file for the petition myself because I am the sole custodian and have a child support order. In some states he can sign his rights over, but still be liable for some financial support. I believe either way it has to be a mutual decision though. If he is willing to do so so easily, you may want to consider whether or not it's a good idea. Whether he's held liable for financial support or not, you will not be able to force him to be in your child's life if he doesn't want to be. My daughter is six yrs old and has never met her father, and I have pursued financial support through the state and don't get payments either. He chooses not to be there, and despite early attempts, there's nothing I can do to make him be there. I know personally how this may be affecting you, but you don't want to tire yourself fighting a battle that you can never win. The same way he couldn't make you decide not to have the baby is the same way you can't force him to be a good father.

Julie - posted on 03/02/2010

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I just went through a divorce and my ex signed his rights over to his 1st son. You have to agree. He's an idiot. Tell him to go blow! He'll be getting his child support papers in the mail. Go gettum girl!! Dont let that piece walk away that easy. They don't understand what theyre missing out on. Mabey hell wake up when he see's that babys face. Good luck girl!

Jennifer - posted on 03/01/2010

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In MN he cannot unless the mother remarries and the new guy wants to adopt the child. He is responsible for the child he made if the paternity states he is the biological father. If he is on the Birth Certificate then he is responsible for the child monetarily. He has to have proof he is not the child's father if he wants to sign over rights. You do have to agree with it in order for the proceeding to be final if he is the biological father. Usually courts in my state will never grant it as that would mean another child in poverty and more money for the state... but it may be a state to state law. I encourage you to contact the Child Support Office or a case worker in your state (county) and get all the details where you reside. I am so sorry that the father feels this way...

Faith - posted on 03/01/2010

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Tabitha,

I don't know about other states, but in the state of California, you cannot list the father unless he is there to sign the birth certificate with 24-48 hours of delivery. Lobbied loophole for negligent fathers hiding behind "fathers rights" groups.

Faith - posted on 03/01/2010

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Hi MeeShell,

I don't know what state you live in, but first I would goggle child support services in your particular state. I know that each state varies with their child support laws. I don't believe any state allows a blanket release of responsibility. They may vary in their process, so best to do your own research or list your state here so others can better assist you. I know that for California, while a "father" or "sperm donor" may walk away from his/her child that it does NOT release them from financial responsibility. It is the RIGHT of the child, not you, to receive financial assistance from both "parents" In California, you must open a case with child support services. You must supply them with minimum information about the "father. They will do the legwork. Sometimes you must call frequently to ensure that your case does not get delayed. An important note, the sooner you open your case, the sooner action can be taken, even if you do not begin receiving support immediately, it will be retroactive with interest when you do.

Why do I know this? I made the mistake of not choosing wisely for a partner. I felt sick to my stomach that this male who purported to be a man was willing to walk away from everything, especially his child. I began my case BEFORE my daughter was born. The system isn't foolproof as evidenced by my particular case details (you can email me and I will share with you), but it does work to some degree.

Everyone, child support is for your child(ren). Remove yourselves from the equation. Your child has a right to financial and medical support. DO NOT FEEL GUILTY!! This is your child's RIGHT. Raising children is expensive! Especially, when you are trying to provide your child the best QUALITY life and education. Do not deny them their right. And while some dirt bags will attempt visitation to reduce child support, most will not because it takes work, paperwork, and consistency. And, if you feel that your child will not be safe or will may be in threatened environment, DEMAND supervised visitation. In all likeliness, the scoundrel will back down and shrink away.

Good luck and God Bless!

Tabitha - posted on 03/01/2010

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If you put him down on the birth certificate it would be hard for him to sign his rights away, unless he can proof he is not the father. I'm sorry to hear that, and i hope everything works out for you.

Niikki - posted on 02/28/2010

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if he signs away his rite he still has 2 pay child support if it is proven that it is his baby u can get him 4 childsupport until ur child is 18 then and only then the child will sign off saying its okay 2 disconinue the support

Tabetha - posted on 02/28/2010

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if he reliquishes his right, which he can do weather you say yes or no, then he will have no legal rights to the child and no legel responsibility.

Samie - posted on 02/28/2010

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if he signs his rights aways he doesnt have to pay child support, he legal doesnt have a child but it also depends on the state because state laws are different

Charlene - posted on 02/28/2010

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my ex partner gave up his right to our 2 year old son and he write a letter 2 the socile servises saying he wants nothing to do with the child as we had them on our case and i put in for child support and still waiting to see if i can get it

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