All Communities > mommies doin it alone!! > Cant tell daughter that live in boyfriend that she loves...

Cant tell daughter that live in boyfriend that she loves is never coming back

Melissa - posted on 02/21/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

4

0

Usually I dont bring boyfriends around my daughter, who is 4 about to be 5. But last November I was dating a guy who was coming around alot to see me at night, no big deal. He saw her occasionally and they got along. Then in February I got really sick and had to move states he was basically living with me then, he was basically living with me anyway, he was basically living with me helping me get to college classes and take care of daughter. So when I had to move he really wanted to come. Now a year later to the day I went in the hospital I broke up with him. Once I was over being sick. He didnt give any effort to start trying to get to know me again, or communicate with me like people should in a relationship. It had all become a routine. Well when he left to go to a school for the air force things got worse and I suspected him of cheating and I found records and evidence of a realtionship with a woman I didnt know about. So I broke it off. Now he is still down there. Problem is in the time I was sick and the time that we were in our routine my little girl, who he paid as much attention to as I now see that he felt he had to keep me satisfied, is in love with him. She thought we were going to get married, and never having a dad wanted him to be her dad. My heart breaks for her. I just dont know what to do, or what to tell her when the time is right.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms

3 Comments

View replies by

Angeline - posted on 03/04/2009

6

25

I was in the same boat at one time. All I said to my kids was he was a good friend who was there to help me out. He now has to help someone else out right now because we don't need him anymore. Then say things like....Isn't this just fun, me and you doing things together.

Hope that will help.

Melissa - posted on 02/23/2009

4

0

That does help. I struggle on what I will eventually tell her about her real dad. I left him before she was born for reasons that can probably be guessed. She really wanted a dad like all the kids at her school had. She asked Corey to pick her up from school one day because all the other kids' dads picked them up. She really wanted him as her dad. But I saw that he didnt quite want the same, he really just wanted me. It was that superficial love. Not the real thing. And as a single mom I still want to hold out for the real thing and hopefully not ever let it touch my daughter again. I just hope that one day someone will love her as much as I do. She is too young to handle the truth. Every time I think of telling her I start crying. Im in a tough spot here.

Samantha - posted on 02/22/2009

24

11

I can't say I have been in your situation, but I can see why you would be upset that this has had a negative impact on your daughter.

It is important not to blame yourself, you know your daughter, and you know what kind of information she can handle. Maybe she could handle being told the truth and perhaps even taking this lesson and using it when she is older, but maybe she could not handle the truth, only you as her mother knows what she can handle.

It is hard being a single parent in this situation,but you have the strength to get through this and you will work out what is best for your daughter hopefully some other moms on here might be able to help as well

Good Luck and sorry I couldn't be much help

xoxo

Want to find out the opinions of this community?

Add Poll