Child support and Visitation

Shaklia - posted on 06/13/2010

okay i know u dont know me and i shouldnt put my bizness up here but let me give u a situaton that happen to me.... my 2 yr old daughter father ... hes not on child support.... we use to take turns on when he comes to get he so one monday i let him get her 4 supposly a couple of days... days turned to a month in a half... police couldnt help me cuz niether one of us had custody i had to get a hotel inorder to see my daughter invite him to bring her to a birthday party.... basicaly when i got my daughter back she was in chkd wit pneumonia and she was only 18 pds now i know my situation dont have anything toi do wit what u was asking but u need to call them and put him on child support and make sure u have full custody off ur child

Jessica - posted on 06/12/2010

I'm not sure what your situation is but I know in my papers it is stated that even if my ex doesn't pay his child support I still have to allow visitation which I think is unfair but apparently this is standard. I wish he would run off out of state and leave us alone though. Frankly if he is acting this way I would consider myself lucky that he left.

Angel - posted on 06/11/2010

what everyone's saying is true. first thing u need to decide is if u want to pursue the issue. one thing i'm not clear on is "ex" mean husband or just boyfriend? and is visitation granted thru the court or between the two of you? if its court appointed visitation i wouldnt go against any current rulings without consulting your child support agency just for your own protection. however, if its not, and he's just an ex-boyfriend then he doesnt have any legal rights beyond those you give him as your childs birth mother.

Teresa - posted on 06/11/2010

Jana, IF he doesn't work under the table and actually files taxes... yes. Not the case w/ my ex though. In fact, he didn't pay 'our' (I wasn't working) state taxes in 2007. I filed my taxes for 2009 and the state took MY refund to pay back part of the balance from 2007....

Cassandra - posted on 06/10/2010

They can garnish his wages but only if they know where he is working at. So if you know where then call your case worker for child support and give him the name of his employer.

As for visitation, talk to a lawyer, but i know from a friend's experience that if he does come back to try and fight it if you take him to court, its going to look very bad on him that he up and moved when there is a visitation order, A friend of mine broke up with her fiance and wanted to move to another city (same state just 4 hours away) and the judge said she would lose custody if she tried to move back to her home town with their child. Although, they may just redo the visitation order since he moved, such as the father having the child a few weeks during the summer and some holidays....so be careful. Contact a lawyer.

I was very lucky, my daughter's father is in the navy and he did not contest the child support nor the custody. We both have joint legal custody and i have full physical custody and visitation is mutually agreed upon since who knows whenever he'll be able to come home.

Jana - posted on 06/10/2010

Teresa...can't they garnish his wages?

Jennifer - posted on 06/09/2010

Yeah he is breaking the law here on this one for sure and you need to report him. It sucks as he may get vindictive and take it out on you and as a direct result, your child may be affected.. but you either choose to let him go completely, or you get a lawyer. Isn't it illegal for the father to move out of state without your consentual agreement anyways if he is under court order? Whatever you decide.. try not to bring it out to the open in front of your son. Keep your battles to you and then be there for your son to help him fight his own.. and having a father like that is guarnteed a few battles he may just need your support and encouragement. Its not easy to do when you get so angry at the jerk.. but its whats best for our kids.. gotta blow up about it? Call a friend after kids sound asleep or jump on here and get it out.. Just choose the higher road is all I can encourage and let him go on and ruin his own life.. don't let him do anymore damage to yours.. love yourself more than that. Rest assured he may seem all perfect with this girl.. but I guarantee that his true colors will show eventually and well.. you hopefully will be long gone and on a better path!! Blessings Rebecca and I am pulling for you and your son.

Carmen - posted on 06/09/2010

support enforcement will catch up to him my ex is on a non garnashable grant from the state as to visitation beat him to the punch and start a parenting plan but only if you think he wont come back to fight it that was the best thing i ever did now i wish he would go to another state but i have controll of when and where he takes my kids good luck

Ronnie - posted on 06/08/2010

Hi Rebecca. I know how you feel. Go through the attorney general. About visitations, well it's there in the order but we can't force it. Just make sure you don't bad mouth your ex in front of your child cuz it will only hurt them.Just love them and don't loose your cool. He's not worth it. You and your child are more important. If he doesn't pay in this life, he'll pay in the next.Good Luck. GOD Bless.

Lori - posted on 06/08/2010

you tell him what you say goes!

Marla - posted on 06/05/2010

As Teresa said, in most states visitation and support are separate issues. You cannot deny visitation even if he's not paying. Check on your states' laws, though.

I have similar issues with my ex as well. He's currently about $25 grand in the hole and still not paying what he's ordered to. Yes I could take him back to court, but that costs money and there's also the chance he will get the amt reduced (though I could also go for a cost of living increase as well).

Take care of yourself and your child. Don't bad mouth your ex (even though it is probably really easy). And consult a lawyer about your options.

Good Luck!!!

Danielle - posted on 06/04/2010

He can't refuse to pay if it's been ordered by the courts, he can be arrested, have his wages garnished and be placed on work release til he's paid off or til the courts decide he's unable to pay. My son's father has two older children plus my son and he is almost always in jail over non payments or late payments, so don't worry, even if he thinks leaving the state helped him, it won't because when he gets a job and things to that extent, they will know his background.



PS: As to visitations,he can only physically visit if you allow it, he can't force you to allow him to visit unless he wants another court order against him.

Teresa - posted on 05/31/2010

In most places visitation and support are entirely different issues. My ex currently owes over $10,000 in support and flat out told the judge he would never pay anything.... He still gets his calls and visits (my girls are actually w/ him for 2.5 weeks right now) and there is nothing I can do to stop it.....

Rudo - posted on 05/28/2010

I am really sorry about your situation , but guess what for now try and take the resentment out of your system .There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING you can do about the choices he is making.Fighting him in court will only mean more heartache for you as he could get away with paying very litttle.
Look after your baby , do the best you can .I am talking from experience .I have set out to advance myself , and lokk after me and my son .If the father does anything , well that's a bonus .So in my mind its me and baby .Its hard at times but at least I cushion myself from the disappointment of promises and lies .If he can have a relationship with son well and good

Hannah - posted on 05/26/2010

Your best bet? Consult a lawyer!

Billie - posted on 05/26/2010

You need to call child support enforcement. They can a search on his social since he's in the system and when he gets a job just garnish his check for what he owes. they can also seize tax returns for back support, and freeze his license, take his bank accounts or any property. If he's working off the books though you'd need to have proof. Otherwise he can claim he isn't working and get his order reduced to like $50 per month. For visitation he would be in violation. You're required to meet and exchange the child according to the terms of the visitation schedule but if he's not here you can't give him the child. Call the court and seek legal counsel to see what your best options are for the future. good luck.