Depression and being a Mom

Patricia - posted on 12/12/2009

Girl I have struggling with depression for a long time now so I know how you feel. I have my good days and bad days where I just want to crawl in a hole and stay there. I think it takes courage to recognize you have a problem. I have been through alot and I have been in support groups and those really help bacause they are other women who understand and won't make you feel bad for feeling bad. Thats one thing other people like family and friends try to understand how you feel and try to be there for you and sometimes you feel like they are judging you. Wondering why you just can't get over what you are feeling. They mean well. I have lost 6 babies all miscarriages and stillbirth. My friends that don't have kids try to understand but its hard for them and it tends to be a little annoying. I really do hope you feel better and if you ever feel bad send me a message. Take care

Hannah - posted on 12/11/2009

Hi Tiffany. Im new to circle of moms but i read your post and it really struck a chord with me. I suffered from depression when I had my little girl and i promise you it does get easier. Finding someone to talk to that you can trust is the main thing. The meds help and you dont need to feel like you are letting anyone down by taking them. If anything you are helping them because by letting depression beat you it will have a negative effect on your child and the other people around you. You have made the first step by admitting that you are depressed and that is brilliant. Dont forget that even when you feel like you are on your own you never are, there are people around you that love you and will support you. I hope to hear that you are finding things a little easier soon.

Vannia - posted on 12/10/2009

Remember your not alone this is normal it happens to all of us i have those days when i feel like i can do it by myself anymore and really we may feel like are walls are closing in but remember there is people that are really going through hard times death, health so on, thats really worse that our situation it always helps me to think that someone has worse than me.. First of all stop worrying what everybody thinks you are you and your responsible for you and your daughter actions as far as your man sounds like he's part of the problems grow some balls and leave his ass.... I'm completely alone just living with my daughter with no realatives where i live so if i can do it you can too.

Sue - posted on 12/10/2009

I have have dealt with depression on and off since my 17 year old daughter was born. I recently went through switching meds to find the right on. It took months and you have to be diligent about knowing what is going on with you and evaluating it. You obviously know the signs and went to the doctor. BRAVO! Talk therapy along with the meds is sometimes necessary. Do what you must to take care of your mental well being. It is the only way to be the best for your child.

Tiffany - posted on 12/09/2009

Thanks guys for the support. I really need it. I talked to my counselor today and she agrees that it might be time to start on the meds again with the stress leveling building. Ive been dealing with these feelings alone for a while to scared to reach out when I realized it wasn''t my fault...And I needed to get help before it was too late. Im really glad that neither one of u guys judge me and supported me it makes me feel better to knw that there are other moms who have or have had the same problems as me. Thanks :)

Jennifer - posted on 12/09/2009

First off I want to applaud you hun for taking responsibility for your emotions and taking care to notice them. You wouldn't believe how many women go on and never tell anyone for fear of what others may say or think of them or worse yet try to label you unfit. I had my son when I was 23 and I struggled with depression even before I had my son and it has been one of my mountains that I climb in my life! YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Its so good to be on medication.. but it must be coupled with counseling or being with good friends. You are in hard circumstances too girl! Who wouldn't be depressed with a father in jail, going to get out ( I can't imagine the thoughts and fears you face in that and I will be praying for you) single mom, school.. I love my son dearly and really somedays raising him keeps me going on in the everyday! I think all mothers could relate to that one! So I truly relate to you 100% -- the outside judges us on what they see. I could tell you what really helped me and well.. I know everyone has their own way of dealing with things.. but underneath the emotions and the behavior I found that I had faced alot of rejection and neglect and well, the reality of being alone in raising a child.. and well, those pains were real. Though the medication I was on was good for the outward emotions.. I still carried deep pains that were left undealt with.. I am a firm believer in treating a person as a whole.. the mind (medication if necessary, surrounding yourself with encouraging people and not allowing the negative thoughts hold you captive), the body (as women especially, diet and exercise and knowing your personal needs as far as vitamins, making better choices with lifestyle etc.., The spirit (having a faith base and well, gaining foundation from that and being in supportive circles) and circumstance.. you have to come to a point where you physically put yourself in positive places (school is good) anything that brings you healing (I love to get lost in bookstores and libraries...:) Continue reaching out to people who show they care for YOU! That have your best interest in mind.. this takes time and skill and may mean being a little lonely for a bit.. but its worth it to have the best people around you that you can! being alone gets to everyone at some point or another.. There have been days in my depressed states where I had to make lists to direct my days and alone times: like the other week I had to list out to take a bubble bath and give myself a pedicure because I just had gotten out of a downer relationship and I knew that if I didn't write it down I would sit and wallow.. and well, I journal alot.. you have to get the feelings out. I would love to share more but I am so verbose on these things that I annoy myself so I will not bore you. Should you doubt that you are ever a bad mom or others down you remember this: "Good mom's admit they need help and seek it for not only themselves but for their baby as well" guess what! That's YOU! I wish I could just reach in and take the depression out.. its such an invisible monster and well all too common.. If you need to talk or encouragement or to vent or prayer.. My name is Jenny and my address is jennyvme@yahoomail.com. Please do not give up on yourself! There is a way and it does get better if you want the help! I am a testimony to that! Hang in and hang on! You are doing great... I am impressed at your level of self awareness... :)

Alixandra - posted on 12/09/2009

Being alone is always when the demons show their faces. why do you think most moms are happier when their kids are around? You might have PPD. I had it when i first had my son and its reared its ugly head a few times after i got off the prozac. if you're a big enough person to say that you need help, then get it! no one can fault you for doing whats best for you and your child. Hope that helps. Here if you need me :-)