Discipline Techniques???

Valarie - posted on 09/10/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )

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What type of techniques would be good to discipline a three (almost four) year old, without physical punishment? My friends daughter has trouble obeying commands and has recently stopped going to the potty and is peeing in her pants so that she can continue the activity she is doing at the time. She doesn't do this every time only occasionally. Any suggestions?

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JuLeah - posted on 09/11/2010

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that is normal. It takes a lot of practice to pay attention to what is happening inside your body AND outside your body. Many kids do this, but learn in time. Be gentle with her, she will get it.
Maybe remind her every half hour or so ... ask her to check in with herself, "Do you need to use the bathroom?" Have her attention while asking.
Remember that the goal of discipline is to teach self discipline
At almost four, her world has opened up. She is paying attention to so many things she didn't notice before. It can be hard to listen. Get on her level, catch her attention, ask her to repeat back what you have said so you know she heard you.
Understand she has wishes and needs of her own, she might not jump to obey. She might need transition time. Whatever she is doing might not look like much to her, but could be really important in her mind.
There are many books on what to expect from a four year old. It is easier to parent if you can see the world from their point of view :)

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Jennifer - posted on 09/11/2010

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First of all, all kids go through a phase of "I'm having too much fun to stop playing and go potty". It will get better. Time out for not listening or sitting against the wall. Really the key to discipline is consistency. It doesn't matter what you choose as long as you stay calm and do it repeatedly every time there is a violation. My daughter is almost 9 and she has her moments but is pretty well behaved. I always follow through, I don't yell or scream (because that shows that you really aren't in control of yourself or situation) and I never say something i don't mean. It seems to work for me. Also if your friends daughter refuses to stop playing to go potty then every 5-10 minutes have her clean up the activity, stop playing completely and go sit on the potty. Eventually she will have to go and she will get tired of cleaning up to "try". She may give in and you'll notice her going more often by choice. Hope it helped! Good luck!

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