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Half brothers and sisters

Alivia - posted on 08/23/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Just to give u a little history: I have a daughter that is 5 1/2 years old. Her sperm donor(father) is not in her life. she seen him once when she was 1 so she does not remember. She has asked about him and i have told her that hes not very nice and does not call to visit.(when i was preg. he beat me up and plays mind games so its better that he does not come around) I told her that im mommy and daddy. she was very happy with that answer. According to her its just her and mommy. She has 4brothers and 2sisters(i know nasty) she is the oldest. One of the baby mommas has contacted me to see if her little girl (4 1/2) and mine could meet. This baby momma has no contact with the sperm donor either. I know i cant keep her from them forever. (all the other kids are with another woman that he is still with from what i hear)

So my question is how do you tell a 5 1/2 year old she has brothers and sisters when she doesn’t even have the concept of who her sperm donor(father) is? And eventually that only one of her sisters would like to meet her but not the other ones?

I never thought I would have to deal with this until she was older.

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5 Comments

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Summer - posted on 08/27/2009

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I agree with Kelley and Amanda, you don't need to tell her now. I have a similar situation. My ex's wife has called and asked about having our kids meet. She has a 7 yr old girl and I have an 8 yr old daughter and a 9 yr old son. I told my kids that they have another sibling that lives at a different house and they seem to be interested in meeting her. However, they are older and more able to understand. What I am afraid of is when my very observant son wants to know why their dad wants this girl and not them. He will get there if he hasn't thought it yet, and he will ask me. I don't look forward to that day.

Alivia - posted on 08/26/2009

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Thank-you

Julian - posted on 08/26/2009

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i have nothing helpful to say that hasnt already been said but kno that my heart is absolutely gone out to you

Amanda - posted on 08/24/2009

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Kelly said it best lol. You just need to tell her that you have a friend for her to meet and play with. Make sure the other mom does the same as well. When she is older, more mature, you can explain the situation to her better when she is more apt to understand. Right now, she just needs to think shes at a play date. Stay strong. Take it one day at a time and do whatever you think is the best for your lil girl.

Kelly - posted on 08/23/2009

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You probably wouldn't have to tell her much right now. Just let her know that there is a friend you'd like for to meet. As she gets older and more questions pop up you can answer them at that time. No need to overload either child at this time with info that they most likely won't fully understand anyway. You as Mom will know when it is best to tell her the rest of the story and in what depth she'll be able to understand. Good Luck....

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