User - posted on 02/14/2009 ( 32 moms have responded )
I'm almost 5 months pregnant now (it was an unplanned pregnancy), but me and my baby's father have been broken up since about a month before I found out (probably beginning/mid September). We tried getting back together a few times, but it was only for me to realize he would cheat or do stupid things like go to massage parlors... he said he felt "forced" into being with me, that he wanted to make me happy & give me what I wanted, and that's why he asked me back out. This went on about 3 times before I finally broke down the last time it happened, about a week ago, and felt nauseaus about even dating him in fear of it happening again. The problem is, I still love him & wonder if it's just a matter of him growing up (we're both 23) & him realizing he's gotta stop messin around & finally man up to where his life is going, or if he'll always be this way. Here's the thing: he's got another child in another state across the country where he used to live, from a previous woman he married bc they were having a child together (he tells me he's divorced now). That little boy is now 4 years old. He used to hit him & his wife to the point where she put him in jail for domestic violence, and he even got discharged from the army once they found this out. It's been 4 years since all this happened... he swears he's not like that anymore, that he had his counseling and he'd never do that again. But I fear once he's alone with our little girl this July, that if she ever frustrates him, he'll hit her as he did his first son. I want to believe him, I mean we've known each other since April and he's never physically hurt me, although he has done quite a bit of damage emotionally from cheating on me, lying to me, and always keeping the truth from me. I just don't know if I should trust him come July when my little angel is born... I fear he is lying that he has "changed", just as he lies about everything else, and I refuse to see my little girl get abused (or worse, not realize it's happening if he tells me she "fell" or something of that nature). He always tells me he regrets doing what he did, and I've seen him cry about this and try to fight for custody for his 4 year old with no luck.