Any pro spanking moms?

Molly - posted on 03/23/2010 ( 1342 moms have responded )

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Hello, I would like to chat with other like minded moms or dads who are pro spanking.

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User - posted on 12/22/2012

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Sandy Hook is so heartbreaking, but in most cases the child has been born with vulnerabilities into a home life that is full of toxic stress. It is the first few years of life, 0 - 5 that really matter the most. The effects of child abuse and neglect early on often do not show up until much later, because the damage to the development of the brain is lasting and complex.

http://stopspanking.org/2012/12/15/how-c...

I think one thing we can do to stop the violence is to stop condoning any form of hitting children and promote positive, respectful discipline that effective (not to be confused with passive parenting.)

Claire - posted on 12/18/2012

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Exactly what we mean, Celine! :)

The majority of us use a smack on the toosh AND passive measure (for most of us, it sounds like we use passive techniques first... A smack being the final word on the matter).

Glad to hear your son is responding well to your method. :):)

Celine Danielle - posted on 12/18/2012

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I am pro spanking, but when it works and is appropriate. IF you are just spanking for everything, it becomes excessive and inaffective, my opinion. However, corporal punishment worked for me, but for my son I could spank his bare butt n he wouldnt cry lnger than one minute and he was back doing what he got spanked for. So we had to find another discipline tool, so we now take away his favorite toy or cut the cartoons off. This works great for him and us, he's being more obedient and easier to control!!!

Kristi - posted on 12/17/2012

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Sandy Hook is incomprehensible. I mean everybody is working around the clock to figure out why. There is absolutely no answer to that question.

We also have people screaming for tighter gun control and more security in schools. But in this case neither of those would have or could have prevented this horror. Connecticut has some of the strictest gun laws in our country. The killer, who lived with his mother, used guns that belonged to her and were legally purchased and registered. In addition, he had to break into the school because in order to get in at all someone has to buzz you in. Had there been a security guard there, he would just be another among the dead.

However, I do NOT see any logical reason for a civilian to own an assault rifle, like the one used in this case, in the recent mall shooting in Oregon and in the mass murder in Colorado movie theater. I also don't think a person should be able to walk into a gun show and buy any weapon(s) they want without a background check, a mental health review and repeated gun and safety training.

I do suffer from mental illness and I have since I was 15. The stigma does suck. As soon as people find out that I'm "sick" then all of a sudden anything I say becomes less credible. If something upsets me, it's just me being dramatic or over reacting, my problem isn't legit. One of my daughter's friends wasn't allowed to come over any more after her mom found out that that is why I am on disability.

Obama was right in his speech today when he said we, as a nation have to change. Human life has become far too expendable.

So...I'm just a little off topic! I'm still pro spanking! ; )

Claire - posted on 12/16/2012

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Many children would do the same thing HFA or not! The flip side to saying someone has mental health issues is the 'we must contain it quicksmart' approach. Some act like it's contagious, I know.
That stigma is the other person's issue! But because they don't have a similar label, your son was the 'problem' one. I have a girlfriend who is constantly belittled or disregarded because of her Clinical Depression. As soon as a doctor hears her mention that or reads another doctor's notes, they treat her as a lesser person and sweep her physical ailments under the carpet.
I had no idea it was as bad as she claimed, but after seeing a doctor's reaction to her case notes (and I argued with him big time about her objectivity and his treatment of her) I fully understood where she was coming from.

We'll be sending 'em to school in Kevlar Sumo Suits, soon! And Stackhats!

Re Human Services et al. When I first started, I met a nice Children's Court lawyer and we went out for drinks. He knew I was in the field but when I told him I was a Social Worker with a Human Services he said,'My my. How did you land a job there? You don't come across as an over-privileged, arrogant, private school lesbian!'
The guy was quite a comedian. When I told him where I lived he said,'Oh, right. And do you push a pram?'
I got too tired to finish the date after that!

Claire - posted on 12/16/2012

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Kristi,

So very sad re the Sandy Hook massacre. How brave the teachers and children were. What an awful thing to happen... Ave atque vale. Hail, and farewell.

Conversely, our gun laws are so tight, you dare not fart near a copper. Anything higher than a speeding fine, and my husband would lose his. He owns a .22 and a .44. These are classed in two different categories, 'cause the .44 is a higher calibre. He has to re-apply for a licence renewal tri-annually, coppers can come in unannounced to check the gun safe, bullets must be stored in another area under lock n key, and no one other than defence force personnel can have semi and automatic rifles. Even amoured money vehicles only have pump action shotguns. Security guards can have a handgun but they must be stored in a home with electronic security and the safe hardwired. Private handgun owners must have a permit for every pistol and they must not be removed from the gun club where they stay in lockdown until you go onto the gun club range for target shooting. If you don't use the range a certain amount, the police can acquire and dispose of them at their discretion.
So you can imagine how our jaws dropped when we saw 'Bowling for Columbine' by Michael Moore. A free - LOADED!!- .22 with every bank account opened!! And the look on the manager's face when Moore asked,'Don't you think it's dangerous to give a loaded gun to someone you just met in a bank?" (Or something to that effect). Bizarre... to us!
Yep, tighten the gun laws and at the same time, boost mental health funding. But the Right wing have Congress, don't they? Oh dear. Anyone for tea n biscuits, disenfranchised mentally ill people? Let's have a good chat instead...

Spine! I've seen abscesses around the nappy area to the pelvis and the stench... uggh. The mother had a mental disability and was scared of doctors. She packed the wound with a plastic backed bib. She eventually got the child back and I've always wondered if her support system held up; did the grandma ensure her daughter took her tablets, that the toddler was adequately cared for... Just the natural act of death, grandma's death, would have sent that child back to the dark place from whence she came. Frankly, there wasn't enough funding to pay for a person who just checks up on 'closed' cases once in a while.
And that is in the same basket as a smack on the bum. Our system is just the same.
(Please note that I don't hold the case in the same light as someone who does not have a mental illness. Mental illness impairs judgment and reason so I see the ill parent as less culpable).

As one wannabe Aussie politician, John Elliot, said, 'Australia is the arse end of the world'. :)
Simply, he's a bogan with money. And a map. :)
I, however, am a bogan with no money! (Like a hick, dare I say it.. lol). :):) it must be a Southerner thing lol...

Kristi - posted on 12/16/2012

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Um...I don't know where the hell you guys are! I feel totally left out! Lol

We still have "rights" over here but teachers don't and kids are so entitled they call CPS and complain they are being abused. 9 times out of 10 the idiots leave the children that are really being abused and neglected with their horrible parents! For example, CPS had been called 5 times on this one parent and they did nothing. Finally someone called the police instead, they found a baby surrounded in his own waste, flies all around him and when they picked him up the lower part of his skin, near his bottom, was gone. His spine was exposed.

But in the schools, if students are fighting or have attacked a teacher, the teacher cannot intervene or respond physically because they could be sued and arrested for assault on a minor! So either way someone is getting the snot knocked out of them and teachers have to sit there and watch or take it until police arrive.

Talk about jacked!

Claire - posted on 12/16/2012

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Love the city of churches :) dunno why Melbourne's media like engender animosity towards S.A. Maybe people feel second best 'cause S.A. did a better job with the G.P.?
We wanted to go up to Eyre but hubby can't take the time off. If we go driving I'd want to see all the touristy stuff. Isn't there a big Lobster and those subterrain lake/ caves- The Piccininnies??- in S.E. S.A.?
I can take EVERYTHING off my oldest- incidentally the one who has been smacked- but it has no effect. ONE day she'll listen!

Claire - posted on 12/15/2012

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Morgan,

I am a former Social Worker (Psychology) and Division 2 nurse. It's been assault in Australia- as is using a wooden spoon (or another implement) on the buttocks- for quite some time.

Kristi, Terri,

Fanks guys, for sticking up for me. eHugs coming atcha!

Terri, sooo true regarding parental rights. Don't even get me started on the justice system- juvenile AND adult.. Bleeding heart civil libbers...ugh!

I'm in the Victorian High Country. Where are you?

Just reading a young adult book by Aussie author Scot Gardener. Kevin the Plumber rocks!
So realistic, LOL funny to grave sobriety. Has a drug scene (wish it didn't- the 12yo would've loved it).

Kristi - posted on 12/15/2012

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Heather--

So glad to hear the clarification on the mouth smacking! I totally get a little swat for the disrespectful language or cuss word.

I used soap when they were little but I just rubbed the bar on their tongue like 2 swipes or if it was liquid I put a drop on my finger and rubbed it around my finger until it was just coated so nothing would drip and then I would rub my finger on their tongue.

Morgan--just for future reference Claire is reliable. : )

Morgan - posted on 12/15/2012

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Terri, be sure you are getting your information from a totally reliable source. In America there are a lot of people who will tell you what the law is whether they have any idea or not. I assume Australia is similar in that regard.

Terri - posted on 12/12/2012

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I only just found out that the soap in the mouth is assault in Australia and I live here!! WTF?? Ooops better stick to pepper I guess LOL

Claire - posted on 12/12/2012

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Heather,



Yep, assault. I have never done it - i remember my own retching afterwards, too! Aye, watched what I said, though!

Reply more when I have the time. Say, 10 years? lol

Heather - posted on 12/12/2012

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To Tammy Allen



Firstly. Do not judge people who parent differntly to the way you do. We all do things diffently.



Secondly, do not tar us all with the same brush. I was smacked as a child, regulary because I was NAUGHTY. I have had no ill affects from it. I enjoy a lovely relationship with my parents. I didnt grow up into a criminal or go to jail. I am a highly qualified Nursing Home Manager :)



Secondly, I know many people who grew up without spanking, and to be honest I would be ashamed to call them my children. They are spoilt, rude and have no concept of self dicipline. One was at university, had his own life a gf ext..... until he got caught doing cocaine and got kicked out of uni...... he now lives in council accomodation on the dole.



We all do things differently and just because you dont belive in spanking doesnt mean you can condone people who do.



I hope you have found other effective dicipline techniques so your child doesnt end up a uni dropout, doledossing coke head :)

Heather - posted on 12/12/2012

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Really? Assult?



I remember my mother doing that to me when i was younger and i was violently sick afterwards because of the taste of the soap, and wouldnt want to do that to my boy. It did teach me a lesson though and I watched what I said afterwards.



I dont snack his mouth with enough force to harm him, its the same kind of smack you'd get on the back of your hand, I have never hurt him doing this but i feel it re-enforces NOT to be rude. It works for me because it makes him think about what he is saying before he says it knowing he may get a smack if it is rude.



I wouldnt like to put my hand over his mouth, this for me is not something i would do. I know how this feels to have this done, in a more severe way and it is not nice, so wouldnt want to inflict it on him.

We all have different parenting styles and its interesting to read and get new ideas by reading others posts.

MONIQUE - posted on 12/11/2012

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Hi Molly ,

I'm a single Mom of one daughter and I whole-heartedly believe in spanking. My child is almost eight now and I haven"t had to spank her in months ,but as a toddler i would give her a couple pats only on the backside and never with a belt,(like I got). I feel there is a need to let them know whose in charge, and to have a lil healthy fear of Mommy to prevent her from going out and doing things she has no business doing later on .

Claire - posted on 12/11/2012

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Heather,



I agree with all your methods but not smacking across the mouth.



I put my hand across my (12yo) daughter's mouth and tell her ,'If you can't speak nicely, don't speak at all.' She is then put in her room until she cools down. 9/10 times comes out contrite and apologetic.



But Lord! How I wish I could wash it out with soap sometimes! (Considered assault in Australia).

Kristi - posted on 12/11/2012

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Wow Heather, I am a major advocate on here and maybe it sounds worse than what actually happens but back handing a kindergarten or first grader sounds pretty extreme. I've been back handed by someone twice my size and it hurt like mo fo. But I do agree with all of your other examples.

Heather - posted on 12/10/2012

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My son is 5 and a half.



If for example he has drawn on his walls he would get ALL pens. crayons, felttips, paper ect conviscated.



If he has hit another child then he has 6 minutes in his bedroom, a toy conviscated and MUST go any say sorry to the person he has hurt.



If he has run into the road, put my mobile phone in the fish tank or is down and out rude to me then yes he gets a smack.



For rudeness, this is a sharp backhanded smack against his mouth, for the other 2 it is 3 hard smacks on the naked buttock.



Some people may agree, some people may disagree HOWEVER there is a HUGE difference in smacking a child and beating them.



I was smacked as a child and grew up perfectly well with no side affects and enjoy a lovely relationship with my parents.



There are somethings that a child does, that need renforcing with a hard, sharp, smack to ensure that they DO NOT do it again.



For example at 18 months my son sitting on the sofa beside me, suddenly for no reason at all bit me VERY hard on the top of my arm, leaving teeth marks, blood and a BIG bruise.

I immediately bit (Hardish, but not to cause LOTS of pain) his thumb. With a loud " YOU DO NOT BITE, OWCH, its hurts doesnt it"



MY son has NEVER BITTEN me again EVER.

Christie - posted on 12/08/2012

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I am pro spanking as well. Its not something I have to.do often but my baby knows what the spank soon is!

Claire - posted on 12/03/2012

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Heeehee hay day! I'm off to make hay while the sun shines, too! lol



(Seriously.WILL this baling ever end)???

Kristi - posted on 12/02/2012

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Tammy--



Apparently, you have over looked the multiple posts that have stated that we do NOT (most of us) use any utensils to hit our kids, that is considered abusive to pro spankers, like myself and Claire and the majority of other moms on here. We are not popping our kids on the butt because we are out of control, that can border on abuse, we have never condemned those of you who raise "nearly perfect" angels without spanking, ever. People like Robynn are on here to instigate and cause problems. You people who think because we "spank" we are abusive do sit on your high horses acting like you're so much better.



Well just FYI, my daughter and I volunteer at an animal shelter and I am an advocate for foster children, which you don't get to do just because you want to. My neighbor is President/CEO of CASA, we care for his animals and stay in their home while they are out of town. He is very familiar with my daughter and what kind of young lady she is turning out to be. While not a CASA volunteer (there is not a chapter close to me) I do similar things. Read up on it...see if you think they'd let child abusers be involved there.



If I remember correctly, Claire is highly educated in psychology and social work so it's not like we're blowing smoke out our asses onto biased research papers. Educate yourself about how most people use "spanking" by reading further back in this thread. There are assholes who do abuse their children and call it spanking and if I've seen the post, I've called them out on it. And as Claire mentioned, feel free to leave and start your own post about what viscous, out of control, abusive, trailer trash, hicks spankers are and you and Robynn can have a hay day.

Claire - posted on 12/02/2012

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Tammy,

CHOOSE!

Why are you here? If you and Robbyn don't agree with us, why preach to 'the hicks'? Is is too hard to see that our ideas are firmly entrenched, we have our own system, and we use all methods- not just the occasional tap on the bum?



Frankly, I don't really care what your own childhood was like. I don't mean that in a nasty way. Mine- like most people's - had shit bits but they were NOTHING to do with the odd smack our parents dished out when we'd been too naughty.

To me, the study promulgating the theory that your base psyche is 80% formed in utero is correct, and that 20% CONDITIONING is only the top layer of the fundamental personality.

Pavlov. He started this ! :) And his study was to prove that people can be trained, you just have to find their bell. :):)



It is important - in case you haven't gone through these 1111 posts (ooh, auspicious number, auspicious number :))- to note that Robbyn, like a noted few before her- have mentioned their own -abusive, in my opinion- childhoods.

Consider this.

85% OF NON SMACKING PEOPLE ON HERE ARE TAKING THAT STANCE BECAUSE WHAT THEIR PARENTS CALLED A SMACK WAS ABUSIVE or MORE LIKE A BEATING.



That was not intended as a shout, merely to highlight my study on anti smack people. And I lost my glasses. Well, they were 'lost' for me. Cheeky monkeys! :)



So where does that leave their intention? Are they trying to place the odd tap on the bum in the same basket? I know from your previous posts you're in the same camp because the outsider's view of the 'hick' boy you lived next to, but you made the direct link to both situ's yourself, too.

NOT EVERYONE WHO LIVES IN A CARAVAN PARK IS A LOW LIFE.

PARENTING IS SUBJECTIVE TO THE ADULTS.



THE 'HICK' BOY EXPERIENCED ABUSE- YOU SAW IT YOURSELF

YOU HAVE NOT SEEN OUR PARENTING, SO HOW CAN YOU JUDGE IT TO BE THE SAME THING?



And to let you know, i have the opposite experience. I live in a small community. Out of about 100 children, I know the ringleaders for all things naughty (at kindergarten and school) are the ones with the parents who loudly protest at just the thought of smacking. There are only two girls whom I know that do not get smacked and are wonderful.



Again, different strokes....

Tammy - posted on 12/02/2012

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I don't live in a trailer, I lived in a crappy house when I was little, my parents worked their butts off & we ended up doing well, my hubby & I work our butts off & we do well. I'm not on a high horse. How can you say your experiences that sound offensive to me, "honestly" then I said my experiences "honestly" & that makes me on a high horse! LOL! I said my experiences, truthfully! I'm sure there are parents who aren't trailer trash hicks that hit their kids, but in my experience, there are not, haven't seen it.



My kids are pretty near perfect as far as being kind, working hard, being respectful, etc. I'm very lucky, but I also worked EXTRA hard for that. It's a lot of extra work to research what is best, read hundred of books, take the extra time, instead of whacking them, be patient & teach them. It's like going the extra distance. If you think hitting them will improve them, I disagree & I wouldn't get that angry at my kids at this point anyway to ever want to hit them. They're kind & don't misbehave, so I would ever feel the need. When they were younger, they weren't always angels, I had to keep my patience & do what I thought was best. Even though I may have felt like losing my control & hitting them, I never did. If you think I'm just saying they're angels now, because your kids aren't angels, maybe you should re-evaluate your parenting skills? My kids are TEENAGERS & they are awesome. People say teens are horrible, not here, I'm just saying to prove the point that you can raise respectful kids & not hit them. Some people think if you DON'T hit them, they aren't disciplined, not true. Raise them with guidelines, be involved, monitor them, be a good role model, don't put up with misbehavior even for a second. I NEVER put up with bad behavior, but never hit them. That would just be my bad behavior, that would teach them negative things.



You do seem angry, makes sense all around to me. You said in your previous post that Robbyn was making you sick because she was stating studies & the same thing over & over. She's always stated her ideas respectfully, unlike others. It's basically like talking to a wall, so whatever. I countered to your angry post against Robbyn that people like you make me sick, ones who hit their kids, also ones who are so hell bent on doing so, you are presented with numerous studies from psychologist, scientists, parents who've raised AWESOME kids without ever laying a hand on them and you fluff it off. I think you need to get off your high horse, ranting & so angry. At Robbyn? She makes you sick?? She's been very respectful? Don't get it. Of course anyone would support you on this board of pro-spanking moms. Why are you so angry that you "should" hit a kid? I'm angry you shouldn't, if that doesn't make sense to you, don't know what to say. A lot of people want to justify their shortcomings. I'd love to get through to even one or a few people, I enjoy sticking up for kids. Nothing bothers me more than people who hit their kids, or are cruel to animals. I know many parents who hit/spank are well-meaning, but it can go too far. I'm not so angry about a little pop on the butt, although I consider that pointless, I'm ANGRY at people who hit their kids with belts, spoons, cords, on the bum, bare bum...other really gross, humiliating, horrible things. How can anyone think this is okay???? I'll never get it. I'm sure you'll have angry rants against me, but that's what happens when you speak up. It's okay. Rant away if you choose.

Kristi - posted on 12/02/2012

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Tammy it has been repeatedly said on here by us what uncivilized trailer trash hicks that if you don't need to use spanking and your children are well behaved, respectable people then more power to you. No one ever said you're a bad parent if you don't spank. But there are so many self entitled, disrespectful, mean little bullies out there and their parents are just like we've tried time outs and taking away their toys but it's not working. Those are the parents we're suggesting to try spanking. I don't expect you to read through what some 1000+ comments to see that this has been stated more than once. So my suggestion is for you to go back to your trailer and do what works for your family when it comes to raising decent, respectable, polite children and get off your high horse because your perfect children who have never been spanked will act out just as any other kid and then people might call you the trailer trash.



Ladies, thank you for your support! It is always nice to get a fist pump and encouragement! ♥

Shell - posted on 12/01/2012

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*correction* "cha ching" meant "fist pumping" for my girl Kristi! I just couldn't think of a better way to put it at the time. Apparently someone has never seen a proper spanking. When done RIGHT it works. And my family growing up and NOW are both very civilized. Nobody in my family are in jail or on parole. And trust me a GOOD ASS WHOOPING has made me the proud person that I am today. I deserved every one. And they were not deadly or abusive. I needed them and I'm thankful for them. Again HI FIVE Kristi!!!

Tammy - posted on 11/30/2012

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Yeah, Okay, Kristi. LOL!!!! Just joking, but it's funny, you're swearing & going off & all. Made me laugh.



Robyn makes you sick? She's been nothing but courteous.



"cha ching"? Does this have something to do with money???



We have something in common, people who spank make me sick. I see no need for it & it's yuck! The only one I've ever seen do that was my trailer trash next door neighbor growing up. He literally lived in a trailer & they were warped, his kid ended up in jail & the other died of aids. The other time this hick threatened their kid with that when I was vacationing in Florida, but I just though "well, he's a hick, sad". I'm not used to spanking, we don't do that where I live, just being totally honest. My jaw would drop & I'd be horrified. Just doesn't happen, we're very civilized here. If you're civilized & do that, okay, I just can't comprehend. Never had to, never thought of it, almost never saw it. Just my personal experiences too.

Kristi - posted on 11/29/2012

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Pardon my language...



But Jesus Fucking Christ lady, how old do you think we are? I, for one, am 41 fucking years old! My parents are 62 and 60. My grandfather is 85. We are all "ok," in accordance with my answer to your question what does ok even mean. I have numerous friends, siblings and other aquiantences over the age of 21 who are "ok" and have been spanked. How much more " long term" experience, not fixed research, do you need?



My aggression, ie: my cursing, is a direct result of your continued harassment and attempts to incite anger. Well, you've finally succeeded with me. People like you make me sick. I'm done trying to intelligently and rationally explain our motivations and methods. Unlike your one track, two point statements, I offered real experiences, actual personal knowledge, several different presentations in hopes you might catch on. You repeated the same thing over and over... The research says, the research says and we're all violent. People like you make normally non-violent people like me go off the hook and it has NOTHING, NOTHING to do with my being spanked 30+ years ago!

User - posted on 11/29/2012

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For all the mothers that have decided that spanking works, based on short term results, check out what the researchers are telling us about the long-term effects that you can't immediately see.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pla...



or http://stopspanking.org/interviews/



It is a lot like smoking. The negative outcomes are just as consistent, and the negative outcomes occur later on. We have to trust the research! The risks are too great not to.

Kristi - posted on 11/28/2012

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Thanks ladies! I guess she just asked the magical question and the words just flowed. You all would have answered the same way!

Shell - posted on 11/28/2012

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Kristi C... I won't even waste much time here, I agree with you 100%, well said my dear!

Claire - posted on 11/28/2012

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Kristi,



Every time there is a challenge to our way of thinking on here, someone else does a hero post rebutting their theory and you just took my breath away. Couldn't have said it better myself.



Robbyn, throw your links around with swagger, I'll kick em to the curb unless they look like (the son of) mick jagger!



(Keesha, eatcha heart out. Not even I would touch that golden oldie).

Kristi - posted on 11/28/2012

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It means that we have positive, loving relationships with our parents and other family including our children. It means we have both self respect and respect for others. It means we are functioning members of society whether we work at McDonalds or own McDonalds. We can disagree or not get our way without resorting to Ultimate Fighting or trying to secede from the nation. We can negotiate with a toddler or a jumper. We can work and be a mom and a wife or we can be a single working mom or a stay at home mom who still works her butt off. We can be child advocates, child protective workers, therapists, doctors or on welfare. We can make good decisions. We can also make poor ones just like every other member of the human race. It means we are ok with who we are. We like the person we've become. That in and of itself is an accomplishment in today's high pressured world.



Are we all these just because we were spanked, no. But being spanked helped shape our foundation and was a building block to our success as a decent human being. Notice I said A block, as in one of many. As I have stated a zillion times, the large majority of us do not use spanking as our one and only form of discipline, nor did our parents and grandparents before us.



Go ahead and stack your studies with your criminals and ex foster children. Who, I will agree, some have been brutalized. But those are not who we are talking about. I'm sure many criminals were spanked. But just because they were spanked, IF they were spanked (we know how credible they are and how willing they are to accept responsibility for their actions...NOT) that does not turn them into a robber or a rapist. There is a lot more going on there than a few spanks for a temper tantrum in Target when he was 2. So, I will once again call your biased, inflammatory, so called research BUNK.



**please excuse errors as I'm on my cell and it is very difficult to proof**

User - posted on 11/27/2012

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People say, "I was spanked, and I turned out OK." What does that even mean?

Check this out:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdpTJ14IFr0

Kristi - posted on 11/19/2012

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Claire- How dare you disrespect and humiliate me by smacking me on my bum? You are a big, smelly bully! And I'm a lady. I deserve some flowers and dinner before I put out any of that kind of action anyways! LMAO!



Kristal- I agree, love and logic techniques can be very successful! It is important to have a full arsenal, forgive the term, when it comes to discipline because every child is different, every situation is different therefore a different response from the child and the need for several possible solutions to those responses. No one solution will work every time for ANY body, I don't care who ya are.



Oh and good luck getting the anti-spankers out of here. They think they are on a mission from whomever their higher power is. If the don't eradicate us, they will have failed their mission and will be banished from the eternal gift of self righteousness.

Claire - posted on 11/19/2012

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Yah, if we used a smack like they THINK we do, our babies would never come near us!



Hell, mine even badger me on the dunny. And that is a really horrible place to meet with me and the farty gallbladder....

They do tend to run once that door's opened, though!

Kristal - posted on 11/19/2012

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OMG!!! Well ive been off for a week or so.. Well Robbyn do u not understand u are not helping anyone here???? These mothers on here are pro-spanking and are on here because we use spanking as part of our discpline routine.. What is so hard to understand??

Studies just showed that pregnent women shoudnt use cell phones. why dont u go on a pregant womens site and badger them???? If you have very passonate about this great but obviously it is not helping here???

Claire--u crack me up!!! I too dont understand what non spankers think we really do.. I havent spanked my kids for guite a while and I dont just spank them for every little offense.. MY kids get time outs and I also use love and logic which by the way works well for the older ones..

Claire - posted on 11/19/2012

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That's just not good enough, Kristi. Smack! :):)



Oh, smack me! I forgot to latch the sheep gate! Out I go to smack them out of the house paddock. And I'm gonna smack the gate, too. How VERY dare you, d-latch, staying open when you ought be shut!



Geez I'm puerile sometimes.. LIKE!!

Kristi - posted on 11/18/2012

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***correction

I just had a chance to reread my comment and I see in my first paragraph I said how "effective" and I meant " ineffective" and I left out damaging. That's what I get for being in a hurry.

Kristi - posted on 11/18/2012

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This is going to be a quickie...



There might be hundreds and hundreds of studies about how spanking your child is effective discipline. There are just hundreds of years of successful, respectable, non violent, grown people who have good mental health and a perfectly fine relationship with their parents.



You act like all we do is run around smack our kids. Oh- she rolled her eyes- smack! Oh shit, I stubbed my toe, it has to be her fault some how-smack! She got an A instead of an A+ - smack! She forgot to put her dirty clothes in the hamper- smack!



For people who use spanking as part of their discipline technique and use it properly, none of the above would EVER warrant a spanking. Spanking is not our first and only method of discipline. If it were, it would become ineffective almost instantly.



Ooops! Out of time for now! Hi Claire!

Claire - posted on 11/18/2012

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Robert,



I am spanked AND loved hehe. Seriously, like so many other parents on here, I don't/ didn't/ wouldn't associate my parents with the opposite or negative feelings just because they spanked me as a child.



Robbyn,



Well, no one is making a non smack person stay on this thread, so don't let the door smack you on the way out! :):)

I have no comfort in that there are so many non smack people who wish to stay on a thread that is the very antithesis of their opinion!

What is with that??

Barbara - posted on 11/17/2012

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Why would you hit your children, its like torture!! They need love! Hurting children is no way to teach them anything.

User - posted on 11/17/2012

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It is fiction that hitting, spanking, popping, lightly smacking children teaches respect and keeps them out of trouble. To say that you can raise children to be non-violent by using subtle forms of violence is unfounded. There is no research to support this. Parents who spank often do not want to believe the research, because it flies in the face of their experience that they are able to control children's behavior with it. But really, the research shows that spanking toddlers works no better than saying "no no." The idea that spanking prevents disrespectful behavior is not borne out by the evidence. The juvenile justice system is full of spanked, smacked, paddled children. You would be hard pressed to find a child in the system that was parented with "attachment parenting." Yes, you may find some who were neglected by passive parenting, but that is also destructive. It isn't a choice between spanking and being passive. It is a choice between using control and power to help children control their impulses, and using logic, love, and reason to help them develop the capacity to use logic, love and reason.



It is no comfort to me to see that there are so many parents that hit their children.

Kellie - posted on 11/15/2012

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I have just read through the post that i think probably sparked you asking this!!!

I have 3 children.

I agree with giving them a tap and i also agree with other comments made!

my parents, grandparents and great grand parents all grew up with a smack and are all fine non violent people.

I would only ever tap the hand or top of the leg on my 2 yr old and the bums of my older children.

I would also like to point out that i can prob count on 1 hand how many they have had in a year i believe this is because they have been taught well right and wrong and a good old fashioned smack never killed anyone!

Shell - posted on 11/15/2012

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I am also PRO-spanking! Although like you, I've heard the same crap from other folks that it's bad (even those who spanked their own kids!!) I'm so happy to see so many women who feel the same way. Today's youth is..... entitled and bratty. I'm going to do my best NOT to contribute to that! My child gets in trouble at school... more trouble at home, I will not be calling the principal/teacher and raising hell!!

User - posted on 11/15/2012

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CountryMomof2,

Popping your child in the mouth is so disrespectful. How would you feel if I popped you in the mouth? It is the same thing! Your son has the same basic needs for respect as you do. The only reason you think this is OK, is somebody did it to you when you were young, and has desensitized you to how incredibly disrespectful that behavior is.

Robbyn

FoxyMom - posted on 11/15/2012

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I"m pro spanking as well. I got on to my son early in life so a little pop got his attention and when he knew I meant business he behaved. He is 9 now and I haven't had to get a hold of him for a very long time. I believe if you discipline at an early age that you won't have to discipline as much as they grow older becuase they learn the right behavior and grow up that way. Everyone always asks me how I raised such a nice rescetable young man to which I answer I disciplined him. Everynow and then he gets a bit of a mouth on him to which I take two fingers and pop his mouth to remind him I'm not taking any of it. Have I ever beat him? No...left marks? no But I did get his attention.

Theresa - posted on 06/09/2010

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I am a pro spanking mom however I have limits and rules that help the situation stay under control. I give my children a warning the 123 but I never back down, I am consistent, if I get to three they get a spanking; most of the time by the time I get to 2 they have complied. I have a three lick rule that I don’t break regardless of the offense and it helps me keep a line drawn so I know I am disciplining not abusing my children. I have to admit I struggled with this in the beginning with my first child. When he was three he had hit his little sister in the head with a toy and I popped his butt and told him not to hit her. He looked at me and said, "Mommy you are not supposed to hit people." So I cringed...Was I reinforcing the behavior by spanking him? But as time went on I realized that there are times when spanking is needed to show I mean business. I am now a single mother of four and am proud to say my kids are well behaved. I use spanking when it is needed but I am not reluctant when it is.

Gina - posted on 06/09/2010

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YES. YES. YES. YES. YES. I am a pro spanking mom. I was spanked and I'm still alive, smart, happy and healthy. me and my kids' fathers have very bad tempers and are very stubborn and it really comes out in the kids to. and as a single mom of 3 who also babysits 4 other kids and all of them range from 1 to 6 years of age I need them to know that I am boss. I only spank my own but it shows the other that I do mean business and not to mess with me. As long as the line between discipline and abuse isn't crossed spank away.

Nareeda - posted on 06/07/2010

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i am a pro spanking mom, i am a single 23 yr old with 3 kids (2 boys nearly 6&7 1 girl 3) and i think if i didn't spank my child when they deserved it then my house would be a horrible place to live. the other day i was at the shops and my daughter threw a temper tantrum and through herself on the floor, i gave her to the count of 3 to get up and hold my hand or i was going to smack her bottom, i ended up having to smack her and i was abused by a lady telling me i was a horrible mother, yet on the other hand praised by an elderly lady saying it was good to see young mothers disciplining their children.. so i say "YES"

Jen - posted on 06/05/2010

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I am a pro spanking mom as well. I'm a single mother of two. I've got a 2 year old daughter who gets spanked when she needs to be. She knows when she does wrong so she needs a form of punishment that will show her that she's not in control and it will also keep her out of harms way. My other daughter is only 5 monthes so she has a while before she gets that sort of punishment. I'm glad that I'm not the only one out there that is a pro spanking mom. lol

Rotacha - posted on 05/20/2010

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Definetly a pro spanking mom!! It's biblical!! The bible says "spare the rod and spoil the child", now that doesn't mean beat your child til their near death (lol). My daughter is 10 now, but when she was a toddler I definetly popped her hands, or legs when she got out of control or disobeyed. Again I have to reference the bible, "Train up a child in the way he shall go, and when he is. old he shall not depart from it." With that said, I have spanked her in years. Now, all I have to do is raise my voice or use a certain tone and she gets right in line.

[deleted account]

I'm definitely a pro spanking mom. My girls got it more than a few times when they were young, first with my hand and as they got older and still acted up the belt was used to teach them a lesson. Sure helped! they are happy and healthy young ladies now.

[deleted account]

Hello!! Thank GOD you all are pro spanking moms as well. Kids today have no respect for authority and they are getting away with way too much. I have heard too many arguments that it hurts their self esteem but I don't agree. I was spanked (a lot) and my self esteem is fine. I spank my son when needed but I am honestly afraid to do so because people get too nosy and all it takes is one phone call. My son knows at home anything goes but out in public I am more reserved.

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