Help ........Depression ..........

Michelle - posted on 08/27/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )

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I had a very dysfunctional & violent childhood which lead to a marriage, a child then divorce. 4 years later a i jump into a 9 year defacto relationship & 2 more children. This relationship is full of gambling & drinking from his side and the last straw was him cheating on me. Eventually i got brave enough to leave, so i left & with the seperation came the first of the Panic Attacks & severe MAnic Depression .This was 6 years ago & i am still trying to get better, does anyone else suffer from severe depression ????????

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Melanie_kennedy91@yahoo.com - posted on 04/13/2012

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I suffer from it. Some days more than others. Some days i just try not to think about the people or the things in my life that have genuinely hurt me. Sometimes all you can do is sit and think "why" Why didnt i do this or why did i do that....why did this person do this to me and if i were _____ would i end up like _____.

Depression is such a hard issue for many because pills just dont do it. Depression effects your ability to function sometimes if its severe enough. I remember sleeping until 3pm for 2 weeks straight and not eating because i was so upset for one reason or another.

As for your dysfunctional and violent childhood,
I am so sorry. For whatever happened to you, you didnt deserve it and i know how it feels. I know what its like to hear something or see something and be transported back to a time where you felt lost and vulnerable, scared and confused. I know how hard it is....i've been dealing with this kind of stuff my whole life. Just do what makes you happy at least once a week. Start a new hobby. One of my favorite things to do is go to Michaels (arts and craft store) and challenge myself to make something. two weeks ago i taught myself to crochet and made a blanket for my fiance. It felt good to accomplish it but it felt even better when he was impressed by my blanket haha.

Kirsty - posted on 09/12/2009

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Hi Michelle,

I also had a very disfunctional and violent childhood i moved in with my b/f at 17 and fell pregnant with my first child we stayed together for seven and a half months after our son was born, I thought i was coping well but in actual fact i just went straight into another bad relationship and fell pregnant again...I had my second child and basically went on the run straight away to get away from all the hurt pain and suffering i was subjected to and my children.I ended up in a refuge but things didn't get any better the abuse etc continued and i found myself breaking leases left right and centre thus going back and forth from home to refuge,refuge to home...I was transfered five hours away with no contact with anyone i was put in a womens housing program and was safe...I still felt yuck and nothing made sence,after seeing my dr i was diagnosed with bipolar i can't be medicated as i have other health problems...it sucks not being to take anything to help control my thoughts and depression but i am hopeful that in time it will get better...And i wish you all the best in finding the happy medium and some form of happiness.

Good luck and take care xx

Michelle - posted on 08/29/2009

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Thank u so much ladies, nice to know someone understands, thanks again fo for the advice ............ very useful & comforting .......

Michelle - posted on 08/29/2009

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Quoting Candice:

i don't have manic depression, but i was diagnosed with depression at 17. i had symptoms long before that. i've been on meds and stable for about 10 years now...except that i had horrible post partum depression and anxiety. i'm back on track though since i already had supports in place and a medication that i knew worked.

after i was diagnosed, it took years for me to find meds and treatment that worked for me. it's a struggle, i know, especially when you know what's wrong and just can't seem to fix it. at least you admit you have it...and hopefully have a doctor and a therapist.

give yourself a huge pat on the back. you put your children first and braved getting out of a bad situation. you have acknowledged your worth and your strength to stand on your own feet. if you need to talk to someone about coping in rough times...feel free to contact me since i have developed some of my own techniques that have helped me stay well over the years. there are also books out there you can read with techniques other people use (if i had known, i would have read them...the things i do aren't new, i just found them through my own experience).

my biggest advice is to just not give up. if a doctor won't help...get a new doctor. if your therapist is an idiot, get a new therapist. keep fighting to get well. there is light at the end of the tunnel. :)


Thanks so much for ur kind words Candice, I have had depression for many years now & yes i have had very bad doctors & i have also been fortunate enough  to have 1 great doctor & thanks to him i am well enough today to realise & admit that i am sick & need help, also now i have just been allocated a new pshyciatriast & she is a wonderful doc too, so im feeling very positive atm, My new doctor is about to arrange CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy).  Have u ever had this CBT? I am feeling so sorry for my children as i still cry often & they dont understand , that is my 7 & 8 year olds, my 15yo girl knows however it is very hard on her & i wish i could just make it all go now, im very impatiient..

Heather - posted on 08/27/2009

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Hi Michelle, I'm sorry things are feeling so awful for you! There are lots of resources out there for moms with depression and anxiety. You don't say how old your children are, but if you have a newborn, you can contact your local hospital for support groups for post-partum depression. They should be free. You local women's shelters/domestic violence shelters should also have free services available. Also, there is an amazing on-line support group/chat room called afterthesilence.org You may want to check that out. I hope you and your children are okay - please stay safe.

Melody - posted on 08/27/2009

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Quoting Michelle:

Help ........Depression ..........

I had a very dysfunctional & violent childhood which lead to a marriage, a child then divorce. 4 years later a i jump into a 9 year defacto relationship & 2 more children. This relationship is full of gambling & drinking from his side and the last straw was him cheating on me. Eventually i got brave enough to leave, so i left & with the seperation came the first of the Panic Attacks & severe MAnic Depression .This was 6 years ago & i am still trying to get better, does anyone else suffer from severe depression ????????


yes, i think going through bad relationship, divorce , and bad childhood is bad enough anybody will get severe depression from  that, eventhough you went through some bad things in your life, i always believe pyschotherapy, pyschiatry, and counseling is the best remedy and sometimes  medication  works. i suffer from brain injury  with severe depression, went through bitter divorce , trying to deal with my bi-polar son which has many mood swings. oh my but i talk to therapist which helps me through all the emotions and depression .  thanks for listening melody

Candice - posted on 08/27/2009

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i don't have manic depression, but i was diagnosed with depression at 17. i had symptoms long before that. i've been on meds and stable for about 10 years now...except that i had horrible post partum depression and anxiety. i'm back on track though since i already had supports in place and a medication that i knew worked.



after i was diagnosed, it took years for me to find meds and treatment that worked for me. it's a struggle, i know, especially when you know what's wrong and just can't seem to fix it. at least you admit you have it...and hopefully have a doctor and a therapist.



give yourself a huge pat on the back. you put your children first and braved getting out of a bad situation. you have acknowledged your worth and your strength to stand on your own feet. if you need to talk to someone about coping in rough times...feel free to contact me since i have developed some of my own techniques that have helped me stay well over the years. there are also books out there you can read with techniques other people use (if i had known, i would have read them...the things i do aren't new, i just found them through my own experience).



my biggest advice is to just not give up. if a doctor won't help...get a new doctor. if your therapist is an idiot, get a new therapist. keep fighting to get well. there is light at the end of the tunnel. :)

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