HELP! Husband trying to take kids

[deleted account] ( 22 moms have responded )

I have always been the stay at hom mum, i need help and advice as i am going to court to fight him for my kids. i have two. he wants them 100 hours a week and i can't handle that. my boys are 2 and 6. they need their mum please help!!

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Sherrida - posted on 08/17/2009

3

20

0

Pray.....he can not have them.....I will pray for you. I went through the same thing and he lost. He is in the US Army over 20 years, I even had legal problems from a mistake I made a long time ago.....I WON AND YOU WILL TO.

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

22 Comments

View replies by

Caili - posted on 09/20/2012

1

0

0

I have two girs now 11, and 15 years last year my husband want seperated with me. he want

two girls let me move out , but i foud laywer ., get coustoay with two girls. we stay one year

so happy and peace, now when i am workin evening he came took the 11 year girl live with

him then ask big one move out too. tell girls they like live with dad. now we have to go to court

also grils has to go to . what should i do , please give me some ideal.

Victoria - posted on 08/17/2009

4

4

0

Wow. I honestly don't have any legal advice, but I do serve a God that can do anything. I will be in prayer for you and your family. May God keep you and give you peace in this process. I pray that He also may deliver your family from this hurt and pain. And last but not least I pray that you may have a closer walk with Him.



God Bless you,



Victoria

Danielle - posted on 08/17/2009

21

21

0

What you have on your side is the age of your children. They are too young (in the court's eye) to say who they want to live with. I just went through this and my ex now has my son. I don't see him nearly as much as I used to on our old shared parenting plan. We still have shared parenting, but he has made the paperwork such that I only get to see my son 6 hours a week and every other weekend. It's not enough!!!! My advice is start with a very good attorney. Once that specializes in child custody cases. Next, if you are not remarried, get a job! I hate to tell you that because I'm sure you pride yourself on being there for your children all the time. But you need to show the courts that you can financially support your children. Your attorney should be able to advise you of the rest. My heart goes out to you and you are in my prayers. Keep me posted.

Amanda - posted on 08/15/2009

4

11

0

Sarah in reading another one of your posts if you havent already you need an AVO apprehended violence order my first husband was calling me and threatening to kill me and doing hang up calls and its a scary thing. no judge would give him cutody if they give visiting rights then make sure its with community member cant think what there called dont let them be alone with him. I can feel for you be strong as you can ok, can you let me know how it all goes thanks Amanda

Amanda - posted on 08/15/2009

4

11

0

Sarah my name is Amanda i have 4 children and its hard bringing them up alone i have been doing this for some time now and working there ages are 20 she has left home and my 17 yr old she has just found work my 15 yr old he is in yr 10 and my 9 yr old well she is the busiest one of all my kids. with my youngest i had to go through mediation for her because i wanted full custudy of her and they worked out that he was to have her every fortnight and i had to take her there to heatherbrae now he sees her once a month he isnt happy with that but money wise its to hard.

my first husband he used to try and kill himself so many time and was found to have bypola but it was a scary thing that i had to let my kids go because they were still young now one there older but two there father succeeded and he has been dead now for 11 years.its one of the hardest things in the world to let your kids go but if you have a great lawyer he wont get them that much because he would have to prove you as unfit and thats not an easy thing to do especially if you are a stay at home mumi wish i could stay at home but Centrelink gives you no choice in this.all i can do is wish you all the luck in the world and hope that something can be worked out for those precious children.

Siret - posted on 08/14/2009

2

8

0

I totally agree with Maribel! They threaten more than they actually mean! Men! And plus the time for yourself from time to time is so precious. My ex takes the kids max once a week even though he asked to see them to take them every day but in real life they want their freedom :) At least mine. And their explanation is that I have to work! Excuse me I work too full/time plus take care of the kids the same time!!! :)

But I also know that while going to courts You live under the fear of loosing your kids plus the ex threats doesnt help so Be Strong!

Siret - posted on 08/14/2009

2

8

0

Hei! Wow, it is very difficult times. I had the same problem a bit less than a year ago. It took all my energy. I have two sons aged 2 and 4. I have also always been a stay home mum and have never been apart from kids. Now everything is settled, luckily my kids are living with me, court decision, but I have to say that I live under constant fear that he still might take the kids away! All I can say is be strong, be confident and good luck! I would love to hear how it turned out. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to support You emotionally.

Siret from Tallinn, Estonia

Tammy - posted on 08/12/2009

3

4

0

I understand that you want you boys with you all the time but i think fair is fair and unless he is a terrible parent i don't see the problem with custody being shared equally, I have two boys and they are grown now but they went through it and i feel that it did them more good then harm.

Maribel - posted on 08/12/2009

2

3

0

Hello there...I went thru the same thing, but my boys were 3 1/2 months old and 2 years old at the time. Get yourself a good lawyer first of all.Secondly, when push comes to shove, a man will NEVER give up his freedom to take care of his children. Don't worry. I was fortunate my ex just "threatened me" with taking the boys. At the end, he takes them once during the week, and every other weekend. Trust me Sarah...you WILL need the time to relax, you will need some "alone" time. Hope it goes well for you...get yourself a good attorney! Best! Maribel

Helen - posted on 08/09/2009

9

6

0

Also if you do not have a woman attorney get one as she will fight for you better than a male attorney will. The child support was hard to get when I got my divorce until I went to welfare and said I was quitting my 4 jobs to stay home as I was getting sick from overworking. When the welfare rep checked into my case they found my file with 10 other mother's files hidden. Mr. I have to pay a lot of child support at the district attorney's office and he thought his ole buddies would need help so he hid them. He was fired by the way. My ex. owed me over $10,000.00 in back and $600.00 a month ongoing. Out of his first check after they found the files was over $2,000.00. It was half the money he made every two weeks. He was begging me to get them off his back. NO WAY did I do that. This was for my children not for me. Keep pushing for your rights as you stayed home and never worked you have the upper hand.

Helen - posted on 08/09/2009

9

6

0

Just tell the court that it is not exceptable. Usually the Mother gets the kids unless you have joint custody. If you do not want this, fight with all your might for them. Have you got a good attorney? Get a fire under them if you do and make them work for their money.

Jacqueline - posted on 08/08/2009

1

24

0

Depends what state you are in. Arizona and Texas have battered father laws that the courts do what they can to apease dad. It's retarded. Also, the courts will most likely grant him the visitation he has been excersising since he has moved out or you guys have been seperated. DOCUMENT EVERYTHING! That helps.

Laura - posted on 08/08/2009

139

7

18

My ex tried to do that, he didn't show up half the time in court nor did his paperwork, after 6 months of going back and forth to court every 2 weeks, the judge finally granted me full custody of my son. He was very violent. I'd get a pro-bono family lawyer and explain the situation, and get police records to show the lawyer proof that he is a violent person, that you fear for your safety as well as your children's and get a restraining order against him. I'd also request that he has supervised visits through Child Protection if he wants to see his children, that way they are in a safe environment. I am glad I have full custody of my child.

Cortnie - posted on 07/30/2009

94

12

20

Sarah, you got him! Not only did he cheat on you, he got violent with you. You said you went to police, get the report, take it to court and prove he is an unfit father... no judge on the planet will take those boys from you if you have that kind of evidence against him. Besides most jugdes favor mom anyways.

Brenda - posted on 07/30/2009

4

18

0

I had the same problem when I went through my divorce. My ex tried to take my son and get full-custody. I got a good lawyer and it ended up being joint custody. And as others have said document everything. You have to. And get people who can be witnesses for you that you are a good mom. That's what I did. Here in the states, they appoint a lawyer for the child. And she blasted my ex in the report saying any parent who tries to take a child from another is of suspicion to me. So. I hope this helps. Hang in there I know it is rough. Let me know if you need anything.

Denise - posted on 07/29/2009

1

14

0

I have been fighting custody of my 2 for 3 years, and he just won primary in December. Devastated! You 2 live close together? Get a lawyer, some place will help with cost. Document everything!! Things said and done no matter how stupid it seems. Get a job! I stayed at home too! Its hard, but they look at who can support them the best! That should help you get started! LOL Keep your cool, dont do or say anything he can use against you. Im assuming you arent getting along?

[deleted account]

we were married for 7 months and i was 7 months preg with second, he didn't want the second and cheated on me. i had to deal with the real chance of HIV etc (long story) then he got violent twice, i went to police once. i am scared he will get granted the time or even set time which i NEED to leave this town i am in. its a small town with no jobs child care and i have lost alot of friends cos i was not dealing with life too well for a few months....

Valerie - posted on 07/29/2009

3

7

1

50/50 Would be 84 hrs. a week because there are only 168 hrs. in a week. If anything it will be joint. It might be a good thing. I don't know what kind of dad he is but my 2 year old's dad and I have 50/50 and it works. I can work and go to school. You should get a job. Maybe?

Valerie - posted on 07/29/2009

3

7

1

Seriously? All I can say is unless you are truly a bad mom in the eyes of a judge the mom has more rein than you know. Been there almost and conquered that. Hit me back if you have questions or just want to vent. Valerie

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms