HELP! I have no job and have 2 kids

Connie - posted on 05/30/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )




I am the legal custodian to my 2 young children, ages 3 and 10. In Dec. 2008, I lost my full time bank job because my kids kept getting sick alot and I would have to stay home with them. I have been without a job ever since and if it weren't for my parents, I wouldn't be surviving. But, they are not going to help anymore. My kids get sick alot. They are not unhealthy, but it seems that one of them is sick every 2 weeks and when one gets it, the other one gets it. I receive child support thru the state but the ex only sends it every 2 - 3 months. I am the one who wrote about the Psycopath Narcissist ex. He is constantly threatening to take my kids from me..saying him and his girlfriend (soon to be wife) will raise them. He says the court will take them from me because I have no job. Is this true? I have to deal with his threats constantly by text message. He is constantly telling me what a no good person I am and that his girlfriend is sooo much better than I am. He has a child with this girl now. He was having an affair with her and got her pregnant. He totally abondoned the child for the first 6 months of his life. Now, he and my kids are living there. I need help and don't know where to turn. I have no income and am in fear of losing it all. My mortgage payment is so low that I wont find anywhere cheaper, but I can't even make the payment. If I go to work, I will be let go again because of all the sicknesses. I have no backup childcare. My family is not available for this. Is anyone else having these issues and if so, what are you doing to get help?


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Clare - posted on 06/03/2009




I would say that it is very unlikey for courts to take the kids for no reason from their mother. He has a bad record of being a father and his actions dont speak well for him - with that track record, its very unlikely that he would get anywhere near full custody. Just remember that when it comes to courts, itcomes down to what is best for the kids - thats the way the courts work. Keep a record of what goes on....keep a journal of what is said when, with dates, etc and save text messages.

Try to have a little more faith in yourself and your abilities. Dont even by into the 'him taking them' and emotional blackmail, etc.

People go through all sorts of situations and the fact that you dont have a job is not a reason to have the kids taken off you. You are a mum who is at home taking care of her children - thats what mums do. Im not sure what country you are in, so not sure as to the parenting support financially. But maybe you could speak with Child Services to have the payments more often as it makes it to difficult - they may be able to help.

I replied to your other post aswell.

Triona - posted on 06/01/2009




im not sure where you live but in perth we can take our kids to daycare sick as long as no runny nappies or fever.i have two little ones in daycare so taht i can work and the other day i work is on the weekend while they are with their dad.why not work while he has access?or try looking for casual work.if i were you i wouldnt respond to any of his threats but keep all written messages from him for court.i personally have never heard of a court taking a child because the mother has no job.i did however have a friend who was ordered by the court not to work while she had her children in her like him are weak and use the threats to keep you down.just because one employer is a wanker doesnt mean they all are.maybe u may have to lower your working standards until the kids are older and look outside what you would normally do.

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